If Edward was a vampire — I could hardly make myself think the words — then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. I couldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have me committed.
如果爱德华真的是一个吸血鬼——我很难让自己去想这个词——我该怎么办?让别人牵连进来显然是不行的。我甚至不敢相信自己。不管我告诉谁,我都得承担相应的责任。
Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell him to leave me alone — and mean it this time.
只有两个选项似乎比较有可行性。第一个是听取他的建议:聪明点,离他远远的。取消我们的计划,回到尽可能无视他的状态。当我们被迫坐在一起上课的时候,假装我们之间有一堵无法穿透的,厚厚的玻璃墙。告诉他离自己远点——而且这一次要表现出来。
I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option.
当我思考着这个选择的时候,我忽然陷入了一种绝望的痛苦之中。我的心抗拒着这种痛苦,迅速跳到下一个选项。
I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… sinister, he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in Tyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around in answerless circles.
我什么也不用做。毕竟,就算他是某种……危险的存在,至今他也没做什么伤害我的事。事实上,如果他的动作不是那么快的话,我本来会成为泰勒的挡泥板下的一道凹痕的。这么快,我和自己争论着,这绝对反映了一些问题。但如果这种反映是用来拯救生命的,他能有多坏?我反驳着。我的脑子徒劳无功地转着。
There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the werewolf's lunge, it wasn't fear for the wolf that brought the cry of "no" to my lips. It was fear that he would be harmed — even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him.
如果我能肯定什么事的话,有一件事情我很肯定。昨晚我梦里的那个黑暗的爱德华只是我对雅克布所说的话而产生的恐惧的表现,并非爱德华本人。虽然如此,当我因为狼人的进攻而惊恐地尖叫出声的时候,我也不是因为害怕狼而从嘴里喊出了“不”。我只是害怕着他可能会受伤——即使他露出锋利的尖牙呼唤着我,我也在为他担心着。
《暮光之城》
“暮光之城”系列以伊莎贝拉·斯旺和爱德华·卡伦这一对苦命鸳鸯的情感纠葛为主线,融合了吸血鬼传说、狼人故事、校园生活、恐怖悬念、喜剧冒险等各种吸引眼球的元素,而凄美动人的爱情则是全书最强烈的情绪。用作者自己的偶像作家奥森·斯考特·卡德的话说:“爱情只是书中的一小部分,但却是人生的指引者。