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Well, one month later,
一个月，之后
I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.
我收集了大量数据，足够再分析一回
And as it turns out, content matters a lot.
结果发现，内容很重要
So smart people tend to write a lot --
聪明的人，往往写很多 — —
3,000, 4,000,
3、4千
5,000 words about themselves,
甚至5千字，自我介绍
which may all be very, very interesting.
也许真的，非常非常有意思
The challenge here, though, is that
但，很难匹敌
the popular men and women
最受欢迎男女
are sticking to 97 words on average
精选的
that are written very, very well,
97个字
even though it may not seem like it all the time.
虽然我们不一定，感觉得到
The other sort of hallmark of the people who do this well
高手们的另外一个杀手锏
is that they're using non-specific language.
是不特定语言
So in my case, you know,
以我为例，你看
"The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever,
"英国病人"是我，最喜欢的电影
but it doesn't work to use that in a profile,
但它不适合，放在个人档案里面
because that's a superficial data point,
因为这是一个，肤浅的数据点
and somebody may disagree with me
有人可能，会有不同意见
and decide they don't want to go out with me
并且，决定不和我约会
because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.
仅仅因为他们不愿意，花三个小时看一场电影
Also, optimistic language matters a lot.
还有，积极正面的语言很重要
So this is a word cloud
看这些关键词
highlighting the most popular words that were used
里面是，最常用的词语
by the most popular women,
最受欢迎女性，都在用
words like "fun" and "girl" and "love."
比如 "有趣" “女孩”，还有 “爱”
And what I realized was not that I had
后来，我意识到
to dumb down my own profile.
没必要写一个，低智商简介
Remember, I'm somebody who said
还记得吗，我说
that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript
我能讲流利的日语，并且熟悉网页编码
and I was okay with that.
这些都，没问题
The difference is that it's about being more approachable
重点是，怎么写，让自己显得更亲切
and helping people understand
让别人知道，
the best way to reach out to you.
怎么采取主动
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.
除此之外，时机也非常重要
Just because you have access
当我们拿到
to somebody's mobile phone number
别人的，手机号码
or their instant message account
或者，聊天帐号
and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake,
碰巧凌晨2点还没睡
doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people.
也许不是，联系他们的好时机
The popular women on these online sites
最受欢迎的女性
spend an average of 23 hours
一般会等 23小时
in between each communication.
再进行，下一次沟通
And that's what we would normally do
这也是我们，
in the usual process of courtship.
约会时的常规
And finally, there were the photos.
最后，轮到照片了
All of the women who were popular
所有，受欢迎女性
showed some skin.
都会，露一些
They all looked really great,
她们，看起来很棒
which turned out to be in sharp contrast
形成，鲜明对比的
to what I had uploaded.
是我当时，上传的照片
Once I had all of this information,
掌握了，这些信息之后
I was able to create a super profile,
我建立了一个，超级档案
so it was still me,
我，还是我
but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem.
只是，在这个生态系统当中，更优化的我
And as it turns out, I did a really good job.
事实证明，我做得很不错
I was the most popular person online.
成了婚恋网，最受欢迎的人
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me.
后来，特别特别多男人想和我约会
So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother.
我又打电话给，妈妈，姐姐，和姥姥
I'm telling them about this fabulous news,
告诉她们，这个好消息
and they say, "This is wonderful!
她们说 "真棒 ！“
How soon are you going out?"
“什么时候开始约会呀？"
And I said, "Well, actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody."
然后我说 "嗯，我不会跟任何一个约会的"
Because remember, in my scoring system,
因为，记得吧，要在计分系统
they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points,
至少达到700分才行
and none of them have done that.
这些男士们，都还不够
They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."
她们就说 "什么？你还是太挑剔了"
Well, not too long after that,
然后，没过多久
I found this guy, Thevenin,
我发现这个人，戴文宁（Thevenin）
and he said that he was culturally Jewish,
他说他，接受犹太风俗
he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter,
还说他的工作是，猎捕北极小海豹
which I thought was very clever.
我觉得，这个说法很有意思
He talked in detail about travel.
他详谈了很多，关于旅行的事
He made a lot of really interesting cultural references.
引用了各种，有趣的文化
He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted,
他外表和谈吐，都是我想要的
and immediately, he scored 850 points.
当场就，拿下850分
It was enough for a date.
够约会了
Three weeks later, we met up in person
三个星期之后，我们见面
for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation
谈了足足14小时
that went from coffee shop to restaurant
从咖啡店，到餐厅
to another coffee shop to another restaurant,
到另一家咖啡厅，再到下一家餐厅
and when he dropped me back off at my house that night
那天晚上，他送我回家之后
I re-scored him --
我重新评估
1,050 points! --
1,050分!--
thought, you know what,
看来
this entire time I haven't been picky enough.
我一直还，不够挑剔
Well, a year and a half after that,
一年半之后
we were non-cruise ship traveling
我们去旅游，当然没有坐游船
through Petra, Jordan,
在约旦的，佩特拉
when he got down on his knee and proposed.
他单膝下跪，求婚
A year after that, we were married,
一年之后，我们结婚
and about a year and a half after that, our daughter,
又过了一年半，我们的女儿
Petra, was born.
佩特拉，出生了
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --
可以看到，我很享受这段精彩人生，不过
the question is, what does all of this mean for you?
问题是，这一切对你有什么意义？
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love.
事实可以证明，爱有计算规则
It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online.
但不是我们，在网上看到的那些
In fact, it's something that you write yourself.
而是，你自己写出来的
So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife
所以无论你要，寻觅另一半
or you're trying to find your passion
还是，找回激情
or you're trying to start a business,
又或者，要创业
all you have to really do is figure out your own framework
只需要，真真切切地，找出自己的框架
and play by your own rules,
按自己的规则，进行发挥
and feel free to be as picky as you want.
爱多挑剔，就多挑剔
Well, on my wedding day,
最后，在我的婚礼上
I had a conversation again with my grandmother,
我和姥姥，又谈了一回
and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong.
她说 "好吧，也许是我错了“
It looks like you did come up with
“看来，你确实做了”
a really, really great system.
“一个，很棒很厉害的系统“
Now, your matzoh balls.
“可是，你的玛索球”
They should be fluffy, not hard."
“该松软些，不能太硬了”
And I'll take her advice on that.
这个意见，我赞成
