Xiaohua: Hello and welcome to Roundtable's Word of the Week. This week we are giving out the secret of saying no.
Brian: Yes. That's right because as much as we want to be nice to everybody all the time, sometimes whether we have a good reason or a bad reason, we don't really want to do things that people ask us to do.
Xiaohua: Exactly. 所以我们今天就来聊一聊如何礼貌的拒绝别人,say no.
Brian: Exactly, and there're quite a few ways here. So first of all, we have things like "I can't commit to this right now as I have other priorities at the moment." This would be the case that if you might actually want to do this but you have other things going on. There're more important things to you so it just doesn't work right now. Maybe later though.
Xiaohua: 我真的很想帮你做这件事情,但是现在还有一件更紧急的事情等着我去做。Now this basically says that you're occupied somewhere else but you don't need to say specifically what the thing that you're doing at the moment is.
Brian: Exactly, exactly. It's like do I've got some stuff going on and that's actually kind of similar to our second one here. You can say things like "Now's not a good time. I'm in the middle of something. Ca we come back to this another time, or at whatever time?" And that again, very useful if you have something right now but you'd like to help later.
Xiaohua: now's not a good time. "现在这个时间非常不凑巧,我正忙着呢。" 也是一个非常简单的say no的办法. But what if that person comes back another time and asks is this a good time?
Brian: Well, hopefully it is, and then if it's not, and you have a good excuse to that, then you tell them and be very apologetic and say "I'm really sorry. This still isn't a good time. How about this?" And then if the third time you still can't do it, you probably should just do it otherwise it's going to be bad.
Xiaohua: Or thee other person should realize that you really do not want to do it.
Brian: That's an East-West cultural difference there perhaps. In China, it might be the case. In the West, may be, maybe not.
Xiaohua: I see.
Brian: And then another we have here is "I'd love to help you" or "I'd love to do this, but…" and then you give some kind of explanation there. That's when maybe you want to do this but you have something else that prevents you from doing it, but "I can't do this because of this and that" or you're just kind of finding excuse there. "I'd love to, but" whatever excuse.
Xiaohua: 这个 "I'd love to,but…" 句型真的是拒绝别人的时候一个非常常用的句型。Usually when somebody says "I'd really love to do it", there's a "but" following that.
Brian: Yes. You can tell when a "but" is coming for a lot of things. Another one we have here is "Let me think about that and I'll get back to you." That's kind of like a "maybe", and again, maybe a good reason for that, maybe you actually don't want to do that at all, but it gives you some time. You don't have to commit to a "yes" or "no" right now.
Xiaohua: "让我先想一想待会儿再回复你。"这听上去好像是拖延战术。It sounds like you don't want to give a "no" now, but you might give out one later.
Brian: Yes, or maybe later you might just say "Hey, I do want to do this." Who knows? Next up, we have "This doesn't meet my needs right now" or "This isn't what I'm looking for right now, but I'll be sure to keep you in mind." This is kind of like if someone comes up to you and they are trying to sell something to you or give you some kind of opportunity and you're not very interested and maybe you just want to politely turn them down, or maybe you just think "You know what? Hey, this isn't what I'm looking for right now but in the future, that could be a good thing."
Xiaohua: 这一句话"This doesn't meet my needs" 是比较适用于有人给你一个机会或者是让你做一件事情,但是你又不想做的时候用的。I think this is really effective because you don't stall the person. You just tell them that it's not okay but you keep them in mind and you appreciate their offer.
Brian: Exactly. Polite and direct. And another one we have here: "You know, I'm not the best person to help on this. Why don't you try so and so?" It's because sometimes that really is the case. They come for you to help on this topic and you are really bad at it. Then you're not going to be able to help them, so you suggest someone else. Of course, if you don't want to do this, and you just want to push it off on someone else, you can also use it for that.
Xiaohua: 当有的人要来问你一些根本不属于你专长的事情的时候,你就可以用这句话来搪塞啦。"这块儿我不是很熟耶,你要不要去问问那个人?"It's just like when someone asks me a Spanish word pronunciation, I'm going to say this.
Brian: Indeed, indeed. And lastly, there's just this simple "No" or "No. I can't." or "Sorry. Doesn't work for me." That's just when you don't have anything else and you just got to say no.
Xiaohua: 当你实在是不知道该怎样拒绝别人的时候,直接说"No"可能是最好的办法啦。And that's all we have for Roundtable's Word of the Week. I hope you have learnt these by heart.