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Dear Friendly Girl,
亲爱的女孩儿，
Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks.
两周就是两周，除非它是十年零两周。
That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one.
那就是他决定是否跟一个模特或者一个像模特的女孩约会的时间。
Can you be a pal and give him a nudge?
你可以作为一个朋友推他一把？
Nudge away, friendster—but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call.
那就推吧，朋友，但是你等着瞧这个它能多快得到一个回电。
And if your dinner date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you.
如果你们的晚餐约让他有感觉了，那这两个星期的时间足够他考虑清楚他只是没那么喜欢你。
Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a “fuck buddy” situation or a meaningful romance.
事实是：如果男人有做爱机会的话是不介意毁坏友谊的，无论是炮友关系还是有意义的恋爱关系。
Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.
去找一个住在你当地的，能与你深度谈话和模特长相有共鸣的人吧。
Signed Greg
格雷格署名
I hate to tell you, but that whole “I don't want to ruin the friendship” excuse is a racket.
我不想告诉你，但整个“我不想毁了友谊”的借口是欺骗。
It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship.
这个借口很好用，因为它看起来很明智。性可能会把友谊弄得一团糟。
Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it.
不幸的是，在整个人类历史上，这种借口从未使用过的人实际上意味着它。
If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves—we want that more.
如果我们真的对一个人十分感兴趣，我们是无法阻止自己想要更多的。
If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
如果我们对自己的朋友有感觉，我们会想更进一步。
And please, don't tell me he's just “scared.” The only thing he's scared of—and I say this with a lot of love—is how not attracted to you he is.
请不要告诉我他只是害怕。我满怀爱意的告诉你——他唯一害怕的是他对你的吸引力不够。
The “Maybe He's Intimidated by Me” Excuse
“也许他被我吓到了”的借口
Dear Greg, I have a crush on my gardener. He's been potting the plants on my patio.
亲爱的格雷格，我看上了我的园丁。他在我的院子里种盆栽植物。
It was hot, I saw him without his shirt on, he was hot, and now I'm hot for him.
那天很热，我看见他光着膀子，非常性感，我为他感到欲火焚身。
I brought out some beers and we talked.
我拿出了几罐啤酒并和他聊了聊。
I think he wants to ask me out but is afraid, because he is my hired man.
我觉得他想约我出去但是又不敢，因为他是我的雇佣工人。
In this situation, can't I ask him out?
这这种情况下，我可以约他出去么？
Signed Cherie
切丽来信
Dear My Secret Garden,
亲爱的秘密花园，
He's capable of asking you out. Haven't you ever seen a porno?
他是有能力约你出去的。你看过色情片没有？
Hope he gets there before the pizza guy.
希望他能比那个送披萨的先到。
But seriously, if he didn't pick up the vibe after the beer garden, it has nothing to do with you being his big boss lady.
不过说实在的，如果他没有在啤酒花园之后继续这种氛围，那就跟你是他的大老板无关了。
Time to stop and smell the bad news: He's just not that into you.
是时候停下来听坏消息了：他只是没那么喜欢你。
XOXO Greg
亲亲抱抱，格雷格
Let me say it again, sexual harassment rules and workplace memos not with standing, a guy will ask out a woman of higher status if he's into her.
让我再说一遍，性骚扰规则和工作备忘录根本站不住脚，一个男人会约一个比他更高的地位的女人出去，只要他喜欢她。
He might need a little more encouragement than normal, I'll give you that.
我只会说，他可能比平时多需要一点鼓励。
You might have to lead Johnny the Office Boy or Phillipe the Exterminator to water, but you better not help him ask you out.
你可能不得不把办公室男孩约翰尼或灭虫员菲利普带到水边，但你最好不要帮他约你出去。
Once again, ladies, a wink and a smile will do it.
再说一遍，女士们，一个眨眼和一个微笑就可以了。
By the way, why are you dating the exterminator?
顺便说一句，你为什么要跟灭虫员约会？
Just kidding, he's a good guy.
开玩笑罢了，他是个好人。
