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The Rare and Exotic "He's Afraid of the Intimacy of Sleep" Excuse
稀奇又古怪的“他害怕同床亲密”的借口
Dear Greg, I have been dating a guy for a year who can't sleep in the same bed with me.
亲爱的格雷格：我和一个不和我睡同一张床的人在一起一年了。
After we have sex, which is always nice and great, he has to go sleep on the couch.
在我们发生超赞的性爱后，他就要在沙发上睡觉。
He tells me he just "can't deal. "
他告诉我他就是做不到。
Everything else is fine with our relationship.
我们恋爱的其他方面都挺合拍。
I just figure he has some intimacy issues that I have to be patient with.
我只是想指出他有亲密接触问题，我又不得不忍受这个问题。
Does this have to be a sign that he's just not that into me, or can I just see this through?
这是他其实没那么喜欢我的信号吗，或者我只是想不通？
Signed: Gloria
格洛丽亚
Dear Freak-Lover, Here's what I'd like to do: Put money down on the fact that everything is in fact not fine with you and freak boy's relationship.
亲爱的古怪爱人：我想这么做：把钱压在这样的事实上，实际上你和那个奇怪的男孩之间的所有事情都不正常。
He hasn't slept in the same bed with you for a year.
他一整年都没有和你睡在同一张床上。
This is a freak who needs to be kicked off your freak-loving couch and shown the bottom of your freak-loving boot.
这是一个应该从畸恋沙发上踹下去，把畸恋靴子底亮给他看的怪人。
The fact that you even care what this freak thinks of you is just proof that the world has indeed gone mad.
你甚至关心这个怪胎对你的想法，这个事实只是说明这个世界真的已经疯了。
Call it curtains on the freak show. Please.
为这个怪胎秀拉下帷幕吧。拜托了。
Hugs from here, Greg
抱一下，格雷格
If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks.
如果你去约会的话，你将会见到属于你的怪胎和混蛋。
That is as sure as death and taxes.
这跟死亡与赋税一样肯定。
The only thing in your control is how long you allow these gentlemen to take up space in your life.
你唯一可以控制的就是你允许这些绅士们占用你的生活空间多长时间。
In case you're not sure, it should be about ten minutes from when they first display their completely unacceptable behavior (or lizard like tail) .
如果你不能确定，那就应该是在他们第一次彻底展示不良行为行为（或是类似蜥蜴尾巴）后的十分钟内。
Ten minutes still gives you time to put on all your clothes and make sure you have deleted your number from his cell phone.
十分钟还可以让你所有衣服穿好，确保把自己的号码从他的手机里删除。
It's So Simple.
这很简单。
There's a difference between eccentric and insane.
古怪和失常是有区别的。
"Eccentric"will sometimes wear a velvet jacket.
“古怪”有时候会穿上天鹅绒夹克。
"Insane" will only have sex with you when wearing it.
失常的人穿上它的时候只知道和你做爱。
There's a difference between teasing and abuse.
嘲笑和辱骂之间是有区别的。
Teasing is" Bjork called. She wants her dress back. "
嘲笑是“比约克说：她想要回她的裙子”。
Abuse is "Boy, are you getting fat. "
辱骂就如“老兄，你变肥了。”
But the biggest difference is you.
但是最大的区别在于你。
You all are ultimately better than the treatment you are receiving from these men.
你现在受到这些男人古怪的对待，你其实应该得到更好的。
