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Cognitive reconstruction is about learning to interpret things optimistically, In other words, in the positive light.
认知重建是要学习乐观地诠释事情，换句话说，要积极的肯定值得肯定之处
Ann Harbison, colleague of mine, Ann Harbison used to teach also with Philip Stone, said that "never let a good crisis go to waste".
我同事，以前也和菲利普·斯通一起教书说过“永远不要浪费一次好的危机”
Crises have the potential through growth.
危机在发展中有潜力
One of the books that we will talk about when we talk about relationships is Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, who talks about crucibles in marriage.
我们将谈到的其中一本书《热情婚姻》是关于婚姻关系的，作者大卫·史纳屈谈论婚姻中的考验
And what he says is that ...the thriving relationships, a relationships, not that have been, you know, all fine and dandy for years.
他说，成功的婚姻，婚姻关系不是一直和睦融洽的
These usually fail after a while.
往往会有争吵
But the relationships that go through crucibles, that have crises, disagreements
而是经历过磨难有过危机，有过分歧的婚姻关系
and then, you know, Thesis and Antithesis and then there is a Synthesis, and there is a growth as a result of these hardships.
就像黑格尔的否定之否定规律往往会因为经历过这些困难而获得更好的发展
And he says that there is no other way, again learn to fail or fail to learn, there is no other way for a long-term success of a relationship.
他说没有其他办法学习失败或在失败中学习，维持长期的关系必须靠这个方法
Relationship does not, cannot look like this.
关系看起来不像这样
It has to have these ups and downs.
它必须有起有落
Never let a good crisis in a relationship go to waste.
从不错失关系中的一个好危机
That doesn't mean that every crisis needs to be resolved and there are some that could end, and should end a relationship.
不是说每个危机都要解决有些关系可以结束，也应该结束
But most crises can be solved and need to be dealt with.
但多数危机能被解决，需要处理好
