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Do you find yourself constantly comparing your life with others?
你是否发现自己总是拿自己的生活和别人的做比较？
If you're avidly checking up on old classmates,
如果你很想了解老同学、
your ex or even your friends on Instagram or Facebook, let's be real here,
前任，甚至是Ins或脸书上朋友的情况，让我们现实一点，
Are you really just curious or does it come from a dark place of self-doubt?
你真的只是好奇，还是源于自我怀疑的黑暗角落？
It's normal to get insecure every once in a while but when it's on overdrive, it can destroy you.
偶尔没有安全感很正常，但过度的缺乏安全感会毁了你。
Here are 10 signs insecurities are ruining your life.
以下是没有安全感正在摧毁你的生活的10种迹象。
1. You're a perfectionist.
1. 你是一个完美主义者。
Are you a straight-A student, president of your school's debate club,
你是全优学生或学校辩论俱乐部的主席吗？
juggling three other extracurricular activities and still make time to hit the gym,
你参加其他三项课外活动并且还有时间去健身吗？
eat kale and finish that extra credit assignment?
你吃羽衣甘蓝并完成了额外的学分作业吗？
On paper you look polished, dedicated and more than capable
表面看，你优雅、专注且有能力，
but if you're only doing all these tasks to maintain your image more than as an act of fulfillment,
但如果你做这些只是为了维持自己的形象而不是一种实现行为，
it prevents yourself from living honestly.
那么它会阻碍你诚实地生活。
2. You are highly-competitive.
2. 争强好胜。
When people are insecure, they have a tendency to one-up others,
当人们没有安全感，他们会有胜人一筹的倾向，
it's hard for them to be happy for other people's success when it makes them feel inferior
他们很难为别人的成功而高兴，因为这会让他们感觉自卑，
so they try to make up for it and treat everything like one big competition.
所以他们试着弥补并把每件事都当作一个大竞争。
Step down from the social ladder, practice gratitude
从社会阶梯上走下来，学会感恩
and appreciate other people's accomplishments the same way you appreciate your own.
并欣赏其他人的成功，就像欣赏自己的成功一样。
3. You boast about your accomplishments.
3. 吹嘘自己的成就。
It's normal to brag when you go in for a job interview
去面试的时候吹牛是很正常的
but if you're always trying to impress others with your certifications,
但如果你总想用自己的证书、穿着
the clothes that you wear or the car that you drive, something's not right.
以及你开的车给别人留下深刻的印象，就有些不对劲了。
Your success should speak for itself.
你的成功应不言自喻。
Remember you're not what you say, you're what you do.
记住重要的是你做了什么而不是说了什么。
4. You get offended easily.
4. 你很容易被冒犯。
Do you take things personally even if the other person was just providing constructive feedback?
即使对方只是提供建设性的反馈，你也会把事情个人化吗？
It's okay to be sensitive but when you're always quick to put your walls up,
敏感没关系，但如果你总是很快竖起自己的城墙，
it makes it hard for people to help you or even enjoy being around you for that matter.
别人会很难帮助你，甚至很难享受和你在一起的时光。
5. You also offend others.
5. 你也会冒犯别人。
It's one thing to feel attacked but it's another thing to do the attacking.
感觉受到攻击是一回事，攻击别人是另一回事。
Have you been lashing out at others or been putting them down?
你是否一直在斥责或贬低别人？
If this is what you resort to in order to feel superior, you're only being rude and unapproachable.
如果你是为了优越感而采取这种方法，那么你很粗鲁无礼且难以接近。
6. You avoid commitment.
6. 避免承诺。
Insecure people have a habit of ruining perfectly good relationships with others.
没安全感的人有一个习惯，那就是破坏与他人的良好关系。
If you've been keeping someone at arm's length or avoiding the 'what are we' conversation
如果你一直和某人保持一定的距离，或者避免‘我们是什么’这样的谈话
you're not just signing up for miscommunication
你不是为了避免沟通不畅
you're hurting someone who deserves a straightforward answer.
而是在伤害一个应该得到直接答案的人。
On the contrary, you may also depend on your partner too much wanting to feel desired but refusing to commit.
相反，你也有可能过于依赖你的伴侣，想要被渴望，但却拒绝承诺。
7. You feel a need to please others.
7. 你觉得需要取悦别人。
Are you quick to help others before putting your own health first?
你乐于助人，却把自己的健康放在后位么？
There's a fine line between being kind and overextending yourself.
善良和透支自己之间只有一线之隔。
Insecurity often causes the individual to feel as though their lives do not belong to them.
没安全感通常会让人们觉得自己的生命不属于自己。
Consequently, they may lose themselves further by fulfilling other people's happiness.
因此，他们会为了满足别人的欢乐而进一步迷失自己。
This can easily cause you to feel resentment. Remember you have more control than you think.
这样会轻易导致你心生怨念。记住你比自己认为的要拥有更多的控制权。
8. You live on social media more than in the present.
8. 比起活在当下，你更依赖社交媒体。
Taking photos so you can look back on them one day is great,
拍照留念是一件很棒的事情，
but are you constantly updating your Instagram instead of living in the moment?
但你是否经常更新你的Ins而不是活在当下呢？
When you're preoccupied with your online reputation, how many 'likes' you get and being in the spotlight,
当你专注于网上名气、得到了多少个赞以及呆在闪光灯下，
you grow dependent on being noticed and seek validation from others.
你变得依赖于被注意，并寻求他人的认可。
9. You constantly think about what you don't have.
9. 你总是在想自己没有什么。
When your insecurities build up over time, you may be prone to developing anxiety and depression.
当你的不安全感随时间而积累，你或许会得焦虑症和抑郁症。
Telling yourself you're not good enough can cause you to believe you're not worthy of having friends
告诉自己‘你还不够好’会让你认为自己不值得有朋友。
so you begin to retreat which is a common symptom of these mental disorders. And-
所以你开始退缩，这是这些精神障碍的常见症状。还有
10. You run away from your potential.
10. 逃避你的潜力。
Do you live more in your imagination than in reality?
你是否更多的生活在想象之中而非现实之中？
Insecurity has a habit of robbing us of our opportunities to grow.
没安全感有一种习惯，它们会偷走我们成长的机会。
You might have talents brains and skills to achieve your dreams but what holds you back are your fears.
你可能拥有天才的大脑和技能，可以实现你的梦想，但你的恐惧让你退缩。
Instead of moving past the fear of failure,
你没有越过失败的恐惧，
you might just share your ideas with people to get some sort of praise
而是和别人分享你的想法以获得某种赞赏，
but they'll never get to see you actualize them
但他们从未看到你实现自己的想法。
What insecurities are you struggling with right now?
你现在有什么不安全感？
We're all ears, let us know in the comments down below.
我们乐意倾听，请在下方评论告知。
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