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And when the operative notes came back for my surgery, a day that I remember very well and had been scared to think about,
而当我的手术记录出来时，我大声把它读了出来。我很清楚地记得这一天，也曾很畏惧这一天。
I read the note out loud, sobbing, happy and grateful tears, thinking about what my neurosurgeon's team did.
我啜泣着，流下了喜悦和感恩的泪水，想着我的神经外科医生团队所做的一切。
I started to feel such an immense sense of gratitude for science, medicine and my medical team, that those thoughts started to drown out the "What is my life going to be like?" thoughts.
我开始对科学、医学和我的医疗团队产生了巨大的感激之情，这些想法开始淹没 “我以后的生活会是什么样子？” 的想法。
The more I practiced gratitude, the more peace I felt in my situation,
我越是践行感恩，越会在自己所处的境遇里感到平静，
and this got me interested in what could be happening with the science of gratitude at a neurological level.
而这让我对感恩科学在神经学层面上的体现产生了兴趣。
There are several positive psychological and social outcomes of gratitude, like increases in happiness, decreases in depression, having stronger relationships and experiencing positive emotion.
感恩之心在心理与社交方面有许多正向的影响。比如提升幸福感、减少抑郁情绪、拥有更牢固的关系以及更积极的情感。
And fMRI studies show us that several parts of our brain and pathways are activated when we experience and express gratitude.
功能性磁共振成像（fMRI）研究表明，当我们体验和表达感恩时，我们大脑的多个部位和神经通路都会被激活。
One of these parts is the medial prefrontal cortex, an area associated with the management of negative emotions.
这其中包括内侧前额皮层，一个与管理负面情绪有关的区域。
Together, these changes in neurotransmitters and hormones combined with activated neural pathways, help us cognitively restructure potentially harmful thoughts to better manage our circumstances.
总体上，这些神经递质和荷尔蒙的变化与被激活的神经通路相结合，帮助我们在认知上调整潜在的有害思想，从而更好地应对我们所处的境况。
And the cool thing is that we can intentionally activate these gratitude circuits in our brain.
而最酷的是，我们可以有意地去 激活我们大脑中的这些感恩回路。
In general, the more we do something, the easier it becomes, and our brains work the same way.
一般来说，一件事情我们 做得越多，它就会变得越容易，而我们的大脑也是如此。
The more we activate these gratitude circuits, the less effort it takes to stimulate those pathways the next time, and the stronger those pathways become.
我们越经常激活这些感恩回路，下次刺激这些通路所需的工夫就越少，这些通路就会变得越强大。
Neuroplasticity is a term I teach my students that refers to our brain's ability to form new neural connections throughout life.
“神经可塑性” 是我教给我学生的一个术语，它指的是我们的大脑终生能够形成新的神经连接的能力。
Which means this is something that anyone can practice and get better at over time.
这意味着这是一件任何人都可以加以练习，并且随着时间的推移变得更好的事情。
So I kept practicing gratitude even when it seemed impossible.
所以我一直在践行感恩， 即使是在看似不可能的时候。
I continue to thank my brain for the amazing work it does as I prepare for 12 more rounds of chemo this year.
我继续感谢着我的大脑，感谢它在我准备今年的12轮化疗时所做的令人惊喜的工作。
I write down three things I'm grateful for and why I'm grateful for them, no matter what, every morning that I wake up.
每天早上醒来，我都会雷打不动地写下我感恩的三件事，以及我为之感恩的原因。
I write "thank you" notes to my heroes and health care, nurses who get the IV in the first time.
我给许多人写了 “感谢信”， 这其中包括我的健康护理英雄们、那些静脉注射扎针一次性就成功的护士。
The anesthesiology resident, who held my hand during the awake portions of my surgery, radiation therapist that play my playlist during treatment and administrative staff that makes me smile every time I walk into the hospital.
那位在我手术中意识清醒时握着我手的麻醉科住院医生、在治疗期间播放我的歌单的放射治疗技师，以及每次走进医院时都令我喜笑颜开的行政人员。
I do want to take a second here and practice what I teach to shout out my doctors and their teams from the Michigan Medicine Multidisciplinary Brain Tumor Clinic.
在此，我要将我教授的理论付诸于实践，致敬密歇根大学医学院跨学科脑瘤诊所的我的医生们及其团队。
I have never met such intelligent, kind and patient people.
我从来没有遇到过如此聪明、善良和耐心的人。
Thank you for making me feel brave when I sometimes felt the opposite.
谢谢你们在我感到畏惧时让我变得勇敢。
I think the universe might think it's funny that a psych instructor and researcher who studies well-being ended up with a brain tumor.
我想全宇宙可能都会觉得一个研究幸福感的心理学导师和研究人员最后得了脑瘤这件事很可笑。
The truth is that we need more awareness and more research regarding brain tumors and brain cancer.
事实是，我们需要更多对于脑瘤和脑癌的关注与研究。
Doctors can't exactly predict how my tumor will behave, and really, none of us can predict what our lives are going to be like exactly.
医生们无法精确地预测我的肿瘤将如何发展，说实话，我们任何人都无法精确地预测我们的生活将会是什么样子。
But what I hope I can show you is that we can also be grateful for the unexpected challenges.
但我希望我能向你证明我们也可以对意外的挑战感到感恩。
I don't want to dismiss people who may find the fight narrative empowering.
我并不想否定那些觉得 “抗争故事” 很有激励性的人。
I also don't want to suggest that it's by any means easy to find ways to be grateful in dealing with adversity.
我也绝不是想说在面对逆境时，找到感恩的方法是件容易的事。
This has been the hardest thing that I've ever had to do.
这是我这辈子做过的 最困难的事情。
But I do want to empower those that feel like me, that there's another way to go through whatever your journey may be, that loving your body doesn't have to be conditional.
但我想激励那些和我有同样感受的人，告诉他们有另一种渡过难关的方式，爱自己的身体不一定需要前提。
And that by practicing gratitude we can actually wire our brains to help us build resilience.
通过践行感恩，我们实际上可以改变我们大脑的结构，从而帮助我们建立心理韧性。
And lastly, I hope everyone, no matter where you are or what you are doing, can take a second to kiss your own brain and thank it for all that it does for you.
最后，我希望每个人，无论你在哪里，在做什么，都能花一些时间去亲吻自己的脑袋，并感谢它为你所做的一切。
