In today's buzzword mix, our buzzword is Boysober.

Now you probably can guess this is another one of these new trends on social media.

First of all, let's take this new word apart, boy and sober. You know the word boy, but what does sober mean?

The original meaning of sober is staying away from alcohol. For example, if you say I'm sober, that means you didn't drink any alcohol.

Sober这个词本身的意思它指的是清醒的, 通常是在我们说不喝酒的情况下.

So for example, if I normally drink, but then I decide not to drink for a month, then I can say I want to stay sober for this month while it's perfectly acceptable among drinkers to take a break from the booze and go sober for a while.

1 What does "boysober" mean?

什么是 "boysober"

Now there is a movement on social media about going “boysober”. This movement began by American comedian Hope Woodard, she coined a phrase-going “boysober”.

这是由美国的一个喜剧演员在社媒上带火的一个概念, 叫做boysober.

It then has expanded into a social media movement, especially among Gen Z women on TikTok.

You probably can guess based on the word itself, the movement is about keeping your twenties untainted by toxic dating habits and roundabout relationships.

So essentially, you stay away from relationships, dating and all of these, stay away from boys and stay sober. 这个词被国内的社媒新媒体翻译成 “戒男色”.

So in this comedian's words, it's about removing the “fake sense of validation that we get from dating and situationships and sleeping around, and refocusing that energy”.

Boysober的意义在于说是不用从约会或者是这种什么situationships就是友人以上恋人未满或者sleeping around那些暧昧关系里面, 就是说不用从这些关系里面去获取所谓的这种validation被别人认可的感觉.

And refocusing that energy on yourself on other aspects of your life.

The reason why she used the word sober is perhaps just as people might want to stabilize after a period of riding the highs and lows of drunkenness and hangovers, there's someone going boysober might want to purge themselves of the bad aspects of dating.

之所以会用sober这个词, 可能说想要借酒精保持清醒的人, 是因为已经受够了这种drunkenness and hangovers, 宿醉或者喝醉的感觉.

2 Why people going "boysober"?

"boysober" 哪里好

People going boysober, they want to get rid of all these bad aspects of dating,

for example, being at the mercy of someone's mood swings or experiencing any of these dating roller coasters.

Boysober也是因为有一些人, 特别是女生受够了这种情感关系里面的这些, 比如说忽冷忽热的各种PUA这种负面感受.

Boysober the trend centers on women reclaiming autonomy over their bodies and reallocating their lost time, energy and mental space from dating into more meaningful pursuits, to reclaim autonomy over their bodies and maybe over their mind as well.

加入这个风潮的人也是希望能够重新夺回自己对于自己身体和情感的自主权.

Now I know I keep saying girls, but it's not just cisgender women who can benefit from the boysober movement. The comedian has explained that the term is inclusive of people of any gender or sexual orientation.

当然不光是说顺性别的女生说她们去戒男色, 其实它可以包含不同性别不同性向的人.

So my understanding of this boysober is essentially about staying away from relationships and dating.

3 What has prompted this trend?

怎么就水灵灵地火了

Therapists say that the emergence of the boysober movement is indicating a greater trend of young women taking a step back from sex and relationships.

With their rise of online dating, more women are experiencing burnout so they feel exhausted because all of these online dating apps, many marriage and family therapists, they see “boysober”as the counter to “boy crazy”,

而 boysober戒男色的反面就是所谓的boy crazy相当于我们说的恋爱脑, a narrative that often paints women as desperate or obsessed with male validation. 这种女生一般会被认为她们是每天都非常渴望得到男性的认可, male validation.

Therapists say that young women love fantasizing and daydreaming about the maybes and possibilities, and often find that actually talking to the person from the online dating app ruins it.

That's why they feel exhausted, they feel burnout and let down.

The idea of going boysober has emerged at a time when there is an awkward fascination was the fact that Gen Z twentysomethings are seen to be drinking less, going clubbing less and having sex less.

而现在由Gen Z也就差不多是我们说的00后带起来的boysober movement. 也正好印证了这年轻的一代跟他们的前辈比, 似乎是更少喝酒, 更少去夜店, 也是更少有亲密关系.

4 Boysober VS. Celibacy

"戒男色"和"禁欲"有啥区别？

In a mix of this, the concept of going boysober has become entwined with notions of celibacy, something more often associated with religious prohibition.

中文我们也把它翻成 “戒男色”, 在英文里有一个经常跟他一起提到的词叫celibacy.

Celibacy originally is more of a religious idea about abstaining from sex, pleasure. 它就是所谓的宗教概念的禁欲.

Celibacy comes with religious overtones of purity culture and it's often involuntary. For example, monks have to be celibate, but boysober that is usually seen as a choice, it's voluntary.

In addition, while celibacy centers on abstinence, staying away from sex; boysober is about “clear-headedness.”

It's not so much as in you definitely cannot have intimacy or sex, it’s more about not focusing on it.

The language they use here is a lot about reclaiming that energy for yourself, you still get to be a sexual or sensual being.

Boysober和宗教里面境遇不一样, 它并不是用来管束你自己, 而是用来refocus, 重新定义你生活的重心.

So you still get to be a sexual or sensual being even if you're no longer in pursuit of or trying to get the attention of partners.

Now let's move on to the sample sentence.

例句示范

Sample Sentence：

- Being 'Boysober' is a practice where young single people take a break from dating, situationships, exes, hook-ups, and even dating apps.