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In my panic, I suddenly realized how much I loved my friend Jessica, and what an irreplaceable friend she was. Although I was the faster swimmer, I fell back to protect her. In the end, the "shark" proved to be imaginary. But not my deep emotional feelings for my friend. It felt great back on the beach, a little scared and laughing with the excitement of being alive. We looked into each other's eyes and Jessica spontaneously said," I love you!" "Love you too!" I replied.
惊恐之余，我突然意识到我有多爱我的朋友杰西卡，而且她是一位多么难以取代的朋友啊。虽然我游得比较快，但是我还是落在后面保护她。最后，所谓的“鲨鱼”证明并不存在。但我对我朋友的深情厚谊却是真真切切的。回到海滩上的感觉真是好极了，我们有点惊魂未定，同时又因逃命成功而激动地大笑。我们互相注视着对方的眼睛，杰西卡脱口而出：“我爱你！”“我也爱你！”我答道。
As I spoke, I realized just how gender-based my communication styles were. With women, I could be open, emotionally honest, and transparent. With male friends, it seemed impossible to express caring feelings no matter how deep the friendship was. I could easily utter "I love you" to my mother, my sisters and girlfriends; yet not once in my life had I been able to look a male friend in the eye and say the same thing. Quite impossible! Was this just me or was every male in the world similarly cursed? Was I emotionally backward or just a "guy"? I was determined to find out!
说这些时，我意识到我的交流方式是多么地因对方的性别不同而不同。和女性朋友在一起，我可以是开放的、真情流露的、直截了当的。但和男性朋友在一起时，不管我们之间的友情有多深，我似乎都无法表达对对方的关爱之情。对我的母亲、姐妹和女朋友，我可以轻松地说出“我爱你”；然而，我有生以来从未能做到看着一位男性朋友的眼睛并说出同样的话。这完全不可能！这样的情况只是发生在我一个人身上，还是说世界上所有的男人都面对着类似的困扰呢？是我情感不发达还是因为我只是个“男人”？我决心找出真相！
Much to my relief, research shows that I am, indeed, a "normal guy". It seems that men and women have very different emotional and rational processes. Part of it is "nature" and part is "nurture". We are born with very different genetic tendencies which society encourages as either "masculine" or "feminine". These differences in behavior and communication styles were made famous by John Gray in his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. This book and other articles helped me realize it's OK I am the way that I am. Men do tend to be more restrained with emotional expressions. I learned that I did love all my friends - only the means of expression differs from one gender to the other. What a relief!
让我颇感欣慰的是，研究表明我实际上是一个“正常的男人”。男性和女性似乎有着截然不同的情感和理性处理方式。部分是“先天因素”，部分源自于“后天养成”。我们生来就有极其不同的基因倾向，这种倾向被社会强化为“男子气”或“女性化”。约翰•格雷的书《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》使这些行为和交流风格上的差异变得众所周知。这本书和其他文章使我认识到我那样的做法是正常的。男性确实往往在情感表达方面比较克制。我认识到，我其实爱我所有的朋友——只是表达的方式男女有别而已。这真让我松了一口气！
