Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others, and a lot less dangerous. "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof," said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean." When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices, and motivated by pride and vanity.
有什么人是你很想改变、调教或提高的吗?好的!这很好。我完全赞成。但是你为什么不从自己开始呢?自私地说,这比企图改造他人要有利得多,而且风险要小得多。孔子曾说过:“你自己家门口的雪还没有扫干净,就别埋怨别人屋顶上的了。”和人打交道的时候,千万要记住,我们不是在和有逻辑的动物打交道,而是在和有感情的动物打交道,他们会因为偏激而怒发冲冠,并且受骄傲和虚荣所驱动。
Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide.
托马斯·哈代是一位对英国文学作出很大贡献的优秀小说家,可是尖刻的批评却使这位对批评十分敏感的作家不再写小说。批评甚至让英国诗人托马斯·查特顿自杀身亡。
Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? "I will speak ill of no man," he said, "...and speak all the good I know of everybody."
本杰明·富兰克林年轻的时候也不懂圆通,但后来变得很有外交家风范,很善于与人交往,并因此被任命为美国驻法大使。他成功的秘密是什么呢?“我从不说别人坏话,”他说,“……我只说他们的优点。”