The first night she brought out a story about a three-year-old boy who knew the capitals of all the states and even most of the European countries. A teacher was quoted as saying the little boy could also pronounce the names of the foreign cities correctly.
第一个晚上,她找出一个三岁男孩的故事。这个男孩熟知美国各州的州府,甚至大多数欧洲国家的首都的名字。人们引用一位教师的话,说这个小男孩还能准确无误地说出外国城市的名字。
"What's the capital of Finland?" my mother asked me, looking at the story.
“芬兰的首都是哪?”母亲看着杂志上的故事问我。
All I knew was the capital of California, because Sacramento was the name of the street we lived on in Chinatown. "Nairobi!" I quessed, saying the most foreign word I could think of. She checked to see if that was possibly one way to pronounce "Helsinki" before showing me the answer.
当时我只知道加州的首府!我们住的唐人街的街名就叫萨克拉曼多。“内罗毕!”我猜道,尽可能说出我能想到的最有外国味儿的名字。在她告诉我答案前,她对了对手中的杂志,看看“赫尔辛基”是否能这样发音。
The tests got harder—multiplying numbers in my head, finding the queen of hearts in a deck of cards, trying to stand on my head without using my hands, predicting the daily temperatures in Los angeles, New York, and London.
测试越来越难:心算乘法,从一副扑克中找出红心K,试着拿大顶,预测洛杉矶、纽约和伦敦每天的气温。
One night I had to look at a page from the Bible for three minutes and then report everything I could remember. "Now Jehoshaphat had riches and honor in abundance and…that's all I remember, Ma," I said.
每天晚上,我必须只用三分钟来读一页《圣经》,然后说出读过的内容。“约沙法大有尊荣资财……妈,我只记得这一句。”我说。
And after seeing my mother's disappointed face once again, something inside me began to die. I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations. Before going to bed that night I looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink and when I saw only my face staring back—and that it would always be this ordinary face—I began to cry. Such a sad, ugly girl! I made high-pitched noises like a crazed animal, trying to scratch out the face in the mirror.
再次看到母亲那张失望的脸,我的梦想开始破灭。我憎恨这种测试,过高的希望和达不到的期盼。那天夜里睡觉前,对着洗手池上方的镜子,看到盯着向己看的这张永远平常的脸,我哭了。多么伤心、难看的女孩!我发出发狂野兽的嚎叫,想把镜子里的那张脸抓破。
And then I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me—because I had never seen that face before. I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts or rather thoughts filled with lots of won'ts. I won't let her change me, I promised myself. I won't be what I'm not.
可随后我看到自己似乎天才的一面,因为以前我从未见过那张脸。看着镜子里的自己,我睁大了眼睛,想看得更清楚些。盯着我看的这个女孩愤怒、自信。我和这个女孩一模一样。一个新的念头升起,固执的想法,或者说是一种永远说“不”的想法。我不会被她改变。我就是我。我向自己承诺。我要永远做自己。