三篇比较：考官+猫头鹰+烤鸭

英文作文：造句第一论证第二

一位考官所写的例子可以视为模范答案。答题的方式很多，请注意这一篇范文只是其中一个极好的例子。（This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.）

雅思大作文真题（IELTS Writing Task 2）
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at leas 250 words.

考官的回答：五段58-51-47-75-42字，总共273字。全文12句，只有一句是简单句。其余都是复杂句，复合句。

猫头鹰闲话：考官范文——值得欣赏模仿其造句与论证，不可钻牛角尖其布局结构。盲目崇拜考官范文的思路，则纯属多余，也未必来电。其实，浏览任何英语读物都能能为写作充电。不少人的毛病在于不懂得通电写作，难怪写作时不来电。至于考生阅读单项表现超强，往往弱项却是写作，这完全是因为写作锻炼不够。

看考官范文或任何优秀范文都有不同的参考价值。各类范文看多看久了，谁都好像会当讲师，但考前动手练习的经验不够。再说，即使写作参考书买得再多，也绝对买不到实战经验。就如同说，熟读驾驶规则是一回事，真正在路上行驶又是另外一回事。【知】与【行】之间的距离难测。

仿写范文也是锻炼写作的方法之一。将你喜欢的【句子】与【论点】做笔记，学而时习之不亦说乎。范文的结构未必篇篇都适合你的思路开展，所以不一定值得仿效。猫头鹰认为范文的布局虽然因人而异，然而务必遵守基本的【起承转合】——循规蹈矩不逾矩。

起》第一段考官引言

复杂句 1. I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day.（第一句话：申论主题。同意试题的立场--学童过分专注电脑，产生不良影响。）
复杂句 2. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long time can be damaging to both the eyes and physical posture of a young child, regardless of what they are using the computer for.（第二句话：考官并没有明显的指引出中体段落的论证方向。考官妙在指出无论电脑的用途如何，如果天天久久坐在银幕前面，对于幼童的眼睛和身体有害。这一点，在中体三段中，并没有按牌面发展下去。注意到引言中一针见血，看不到呕心的鹦鹉句子，如“铜板有两面”，“有人认为，也有人认为，至于我个人则认为，”——陈腐废话。）

承》第二段考官中体段A

复杂句 1. However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that affect children.（指标句：topic sentence）
复杂句 2. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent.
复合句 3. The player is usually the 'hero' of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to others.

转》第三段考官主体段B

复合句 1. Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction.（指标句：topic sentence）
复杂句 2. Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.

转》第四段考官主体段C

简单句 1. In spite of this, the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied.（指标句：topic sentence）
复合句 2. Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today.
复杂句 3. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.

合》第五段考官结论

复杂句 1. I think the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse computers.（重申主题）
复杂句 2. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world.(提出建议）

英文写作练习：【隐形模板】摹写考官范文。人人皆可模仿考官范文，稍作更改，进步加快。考官【造句】第一，值得认真学习。考官【论证】第二，也值得参考。（千万不要迷信所有考官的作文布局。另外，猫头鹰Essay不喜欢用——"I", "me". "my".）

猫头鹰坚持布局四段回答所有论说文真题。千篇一律装配18句话【起3承6转6合3】. 考雅思？考托福？鼓励候选人复习时不忘亲自用心动手习作，领悟出自己专用的应试模板，期待临场时得心应手。

新手考前习作，贵能持之以恒。如果自觉【造句】和【论证】的功力不足，当务之急是广泛浏览高分范文（包挂考官范文），多多预算，有样学样, 抄抄写写，若有所思。再说一次，在考前悟出自创模板（个性模板一个就足以应付所有的议论文试题）。

考官英文作文：作文随心所欲；英文自然道地。猫头鹰英文作文：作文循规蹈矩；英文竭其所能。

阅读考官作品，老是好像缺点找不到而优点学不到。老外的母语英文可圈可点--语言效率(rhetoric)，句型变化(syntax)，词汇恰当(lexicon)。可是又以为考官作文不按牌理出牌，令学习者或无所适从，或不敢领教。猫头鹰仅以学习的心态，临摹一篇。东施效颦，请勿见笑。

文抄公范文：学童电脑（海盗版）. 基本上，谢振礼【隐形模板】：四段18句【起3承6转6合3】。预计字数：300-360字（雅思托福一样）：【起】50-60字【承】100-120字【转】100-120字【合】50-60字。

心图大纲（简单扼要，一念之间制作心图，肯定考生没有时间打草稿）：答题立场（同意的观点，也就是说儿童过分使用电脑则会产生不利的影响。这就是答题立场所产生的的主题。）习惯成自然——坚持四段：起1. 申论主题。承2. 支持主题。转3. 支持主题。合4. 重申主题。

雅思真题：学童电脑（范文仿写者：猫头鹰）

起——【利vs弊】儿童适当使用电脑则有利；过度使用则对身心有害。
承——【利】今日儿童有利的学习工具；未来有利的工作工具。
转——【弊】儿童天天超时使用电脑则对身体与心理发展不利。
合——【利vs弊】儿童使用电脑应适可则有利；失控时间与内容则有害。

【起】Introduction
1. 申论主题
Young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day, regardless of what they are using the computer for.
2. 集中焦点
The point is that kids need to learn computer skills, but they should not be allowed to sit in front of a screen for too long.
3. 话分两头
While the computer, and along with it the Internet, can be advantageous, over-exposure can be damaging both physically and mentally.

【承】Body A
1. 指标A
The obvious benefits of computer skills now and in the future cannot be denied.
2. 支持句
These days, the computer has become an indispensable learning tool for young children at school and at home.
3. 支持句
In the time to come, their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is the key to all knowledge and information available anytime and anywhere.
4. 支持句
This being the case, they are likely to be disadvantaged if they do not know enough digital skills.
5. 支持句
That is partly why it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.
6. 支持句
Simply put, no child should be left behind and turn out to be somewhat illiterate digitally.

【转】Body B
1. 指标B
However, the main concern is not only about the type of computer activities that attract children but also about how much time spent for that matter.
2. 支持句
To illustrate, these are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent.
3. 支持句
In this light, the player is usually the make-believe 'hero' of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to others.
4. 支持句
Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends or checking Facebook, it is no substitute for human face-to-face interaction.
5. 支持句
That is to say, spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an essential part of a child's mental development that cannot be provided by a computer.
6. 支持句
Without a doubt, too heavy consumption of screen time can be harmful to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child, not to mention the epidemic phenomenon of childhood obesity due partly to lack of physical exercise.

【合】Conclusion
1. 二合为一
In sum, there are undesirable effects on children relying too much on the computer, in spite of all the advantages it has to offer.
2. 还原焦点
Therefore, enough is enough and it is important to make sure that young children do not overuse computers.
3. 重申主题
The bottom line is that parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity as well, instead of simply sitting long hours at home like "mouse potatoes", for any purpose.

（ielts360toefl@hotmail.com 本篇范文仿写考官：学童电脑。谢振礼2011-2012年范文集锦中的近似雅思范文：8125 电脑儿童，8446 早学电脑。）

Sample Essay: "Computers and Children"
烤鸭作文（谢振礼老师指导）。答题的立场倾向：儿童使用电脑——利大弊小。心图大纲：

起——positive—academically and professionally
承——academically
转——professionally
合——academically and professionally—positive

起——引言 Introduction

While excessive exposure to the computer screen can be damaging to children physically and mentally, the overall effects of using the computer, and along with it the Internet, are more positive than negative. It is understood that children should be encouraged to use and not to overuse this modern technological equipment. The views for supporting this argument are academic and professional.

承——中体 Body A

From an academic perspective, computers are an invaluable resource to help students explore the world around them. To start with, children who use the Internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse academic disciplines are already becoming independent learners. That is one reason why children should acquire enough computer skills at an early age. Further, at various learning stages, more information and knowledge can be made accessible to them more easily anytime and anywhere. There is no denying that computer skills have become a must-have throughout young people's studies in today's world. It is also clear that, in the academic environment, computers are actually an essential part of everyday life.

转——中体 Body B

In view of children's professional success later in life, the importance of these computer skills cannot be over-emphasized. People who do not know well how to use such technology are likely to be disadvantaged in the workplace. Nowadays, parents are increasingly aware that allowing their children to use the computer daily for a couple of hours is not a waste of time, but is actually preparing them for future jobs. That is to day, it is an investment in the child's future career because computer skills are also job skills. So, in a positive sense, the more enthusiastically children use the computer, the more confidence they will have when looking for employment in the time to come. Such benefits are just too obvious to be ignored.

合——结论 Conclusion

To conclude, the computer is playing a critical role in young people's learning experience and future working lives. However, the point is that parents should as well monitor their children's screen time for health reasons. After all, as a technological tool, the computer is here to stay.
(A student's essay, checked and corrected by Jeenn Lee Hsieh )