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22 Killing with Kindness
以柔克刚
Sometimes, it's difficult t behave like a gentleman.
有时，表现的像个绅士并不容易，
It's especially hard when the person talking to you is belligerent and trying to belittle you in front of others.
当你面对一个好斗而又极力在众人前贬低你的人时尤为如此。
You might feel like beating him and burying him as deep as bedrock, but don't.
你也许很想揍他一顿，然后把他埋得深如一块基石，但还是别那样。
Remember, violence begets more violence.
记住，暴力只会招致更多的暴力。
Of course, it's easier said than done.
当然，这话说起来容易做起来难。
My cousin Tom comes drunk to our family reunions every year and always manages to insult my family members.
每年我的表兄汤姆都会醉醺醺地前来参加家庭聚会，而且总是设法将我的家人羞辱一番。
“Your nose is looking more and more like the beak of a bird,” he would tell my daughter.
“你的鼻子越来越像鸟嘴了。”他对我的女儿如是说。
“Those red beads don't look becoming on you,” he would say to my wife.
“那些红珠子带在你身上不好看。”他对我的妻子这般说。
“Is that your beard or a bird's nest,” he would ask me.
“你那是胡子还是鸟窝？”他会这样问我。
I think, deep in his heart, Tom has always begrudged me.
我想在汤姆的内心深处，他一贯是嫉妒我的。
His occasional smile belies his true feelings of envy.
他脸上偶尔出现的微笑掩盖了他的嫉妒心。
I wish that someone would shine a beam of light in his eyes and ask him why he feels this way.
我真希望有人能让他的眼前亮一束光，问问他为什么要嫉妒。
In any event, because I must act as the host of the reunion on behalf of my parents, I have to be on my best behavior.
无论如何，我得代表父母主持家庭聚会，因此我必须举止得体，令人无可挑剔。
As my mother keeps reminding me, I must bear the responsibility of keeping things friendly.
正如母亲时常提醒我的，我必须负责营造一种和睦相处的家庭气氛。
To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have agreed to be the host if I had known it was going to be like this beforehand.
说实话，要是事先知道做主人会是这样，我就不会答应这差事了。
Well, this year, I decided to change my strategy with Tom.
不过今年，我觉得改变对汤姆的战略。
Instead of reacting to his insults with anger, I tried to befuddle him with kind words.
对他的羞辱，我非但不会火冒三丈，还会用甜言蜜语来迷惑他。
Strangely enough, when he becomes befuddled, he can't speak and he just walks away.
奇怪的是，他被我弄得困惑不解时，竟一声不吭的走开了。
The kindness just kills him. It's truly a sight to behold.
那番甜言蜜语反倒把他给镇住了。真是值得一看的洋相啊！
