评论
打印
40 Bob
鲍勃
Long ago, it wasn't unusual for colossal countries to establish colonies in distant lands.
很久以前，一个庞大的国家在海外建立殖民地是司空见惯的事。
They were often successful at colonizing weaker kingdoms.
这些大国常常能在弱国成功拓殖。
However, some small nations were able to resist colonial rule.
然而，一些小国却能抵制殖民统治。
This brings to mind a rather comical case involving a man named Bob.
这让我想起一件非常滑稽的事，事关一个名叫鲍勃的人。
Bob was a colonel in a large country.
鲍勃是某大国的陆军上校。
Although he held the title of commander, he wasn't a very good one.
他虽说拥有统帅的头衔，但还算不上一个好统帅。
The men didn't like him because of his comic ways and because he had obtained his position through influence rather than hard work.
将士们不喜欢他，因为他举止滑稽可笑，而且他是通过关系而不是刻苦努力才获得这一要职的。
This was a bad combination for a leader.
对一名领导者而言，这可不是一个好的组合。
Nevertheless, Bob's supervising officer commended him and recommended that Bob be sent to lead the colonization of a far-away country.
尽管如此，鲍勃的上司仍对他称赞有加，并推荐鲍勃到一个遥远的国家去领导拓殖行动。
Some believed that Bob was given this job because it was commensurate with his abilities.
一些人认为鲍勃有相称的能力胜任这一职务，
Others commented that the military just wanted to send Bob far away.
其他人则议论说军方只不过想把鲍勃赶得远远的。
Bob commenced his assignment and reached the distant country by boat.
鲍勃走马上任，坐船来到这个遥远的国家。
It wasn't long before Bob found himself facing the native resistance.
鲍勃很快就遭到当地人的反抗。
By then, all of Bob's men had combined to desert him.
那时，鲍勃手下的所有将士早已联合起来叛离了他。
So Bob tried to hold off the natives with the only weapon he knew how to use-fire.
于是，鲍勃只好用他唯一会使的武器——火来抵挡当地人。
He planned to scare the natives at night by creating a huge wall of fire in their village.
他打算在晚上围着村子点一圈大火，吓唬吓唬当地人。
At midnight, he started pouring combustible liquids around the village.
半夜时分，他开始围着村子倒易燃液体。
Unfortunately, he got some on the seat of his pants.
不幸的是，他臀部的裤子上也沾了点液体。
Lighting a match to see, he achieved combustion.
他点了根火柴想看个究竟，却见他自己也惹火烧身了。
The natives said that Bob looked like a comet as he ran around the village trying to find water.
当地人说鲍勃满村跑着找水时，看起来就像一颗彗星。
Back at home, radio commentators laughed and newspapers published humorous commentaries about the event.
在他的家乡，广播评论员捧腹大笑，报纸上登出各种关于此事的搞笑评论。
But the natives liked Bob.
但是家乡人喜欢鲍勃。
In fact, they commemorate Bob every year on the anniversary of his arrival.
事实上，每逢一年一度的鲍勃返乡纪念日，他们都会纪念鲍勃。
