I wasn't really sure what to talk to you about today and I asked Tre and he said, "Well, you know Class Day is such an important day, and I'm sure we'd love to hear some of your memories of it." And that calmed me because the truth of the matter is I have absolutely no memories of this day. I thought back to my own graduation and, I mean I'm sure I was here because I have the little clay pipe and I remember I had the pipe because my mom found it my room that night and accused me, thinking it was a pot pipe. And so we got in a big argument about it and my roommate decided to solve the argument by taking out his two-foot water pipe that he had in a locked box in the living room and comparing it, to show that in fact, that was not a pot pipe. It went well, yeah, it went very well.
我不是很明确今天该跟你们说些什么，于是我专门请教了特雷，他告诉我，“毕业典礼是一个很重要的日子，所以我敢肯定大家想听听你对自己的毕业典礼的一些回忆。”这让我镇定了，因为事实上我对那一天已经没有任何印象了。回顾自己的毕业典礼，我敢肯定我确实参加了，因为我带回来一个小小的陶土烟斗。我之所以记得那个小小的烟斗，是因为那天晚上我妈妈在我的房间里发现了它，她以为这是用来吸大麻的，为此指责了我。因此，我们争吵了起来，最后，我的舍友从卧室里一个锁着的箱子里拿出一个两英尺长的水烟斗做对比，证明那个陶土烟斗不是用来吸大麻的，这才算平息了争执。这很奏效，没错，这真的很奏效。
So I have no actual memory of sitting here in a funny hat listening to a speaker, which I actually find calming because, frankly, it doesn't matter what I say, because you all are not going to remember this, you know, by tomorrow. But your parents are going to remember this because they paid through their noses for it, so I will try to make it memorable for them, if for no one else. I do remember the commencement ceremony: I remember the cap and gown, the polyester, I remember the procession, I remember being excited and nervous and completely confused about my future--feelins, I imagine, that most of you are experiencing in some form. When I graduated, when I was sitting here I imagine, I hadn't acutally applied for any jobs and I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Yeah, that's right. Raise your hand if you're in that position. I remember asking my mom for advice, something I rarely did growing up because my mom is not the most practical person on the planet. The last time I'd done that was in middle school, when I was having problems in math class and I asked her for some advice and she told me to wear vertical stripes because they're slimming. So I didn't know what that meant.
因此，我不记得曾戴一顶滑稽的帽子坐在这里听演讲，这事实上让我镇定了下来，因为，坦白说，你们知道，不管我讲什么，到明天你们就会忘记。但是你们的父母将会记住这一刻，因为他们为之付出了巨大的代价，所以就算不为别人，仅为了他们，我也会让这次演讲令人难忘。我依旧记得毕业典礼，记得涤纶布料的学士服和学士帽，记得游行列队，还有当时紧张而兴奋的心情，以及对未来的迷茫。我想，你们中的大多数人现在也有着同样的心情。当我要毕业时，当我坐在这里时，我还没有找工作，也不知道我这一生想要做什么。这很正常。如果你现在也处于同样的境况，请举手。我还记得曾向母亲寻求建议，从小到大我很少这样做，因为她并不是世界上最实际的人。上一次向她寻求建议是在上中学时，当时我在数学课上遇到了一些难题，向她寻求建议，她让我穿竖纹衣服，因为那样显得修长。当时我不明白她的意思。
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