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Germany's parliament
德国议会
Order, order!
命令不止
Many Germans crave a less boring Bundestag, including its own president
即便是总统也渴望议院不再那么无聊
Gripped by question time
被提问时间紧抓不放
GERMANY'S parliament, the Bundestag, has produced some memorable moments over the years. Whether they qualify as oratory is less clear. In 1984 a young Joschka Fischer (nobody dreamt of a Green foreign minister just 14 years later) yelled: “With your permission, Mr President, you are an arsehole!” Herbert Wehner, a leading member in the 1960s and 70s, told one opponent to “go wash yourself first” and another that “you are a pig, do you know that?”
德国议会，即联邦议会在过去几年有过一些难忘的时刻。对于他们是否符合演讲这一点尚不明确。在1984年一位名叫约什卡·费舍尔的年轻人（没人会想到他会在那14年之后当上外交部长）呼喊：“总统先生，你就是个混蛋！”上世纪60年代至70年代领军人物赫伯特·维纳警告一个对手“先洗干净了再来”，又称另一个对手“你特么就是一头猪你造吗？”
Those members attempting wit—and there are some—face a more humdrum reality. Often they address a chamber that is mostly empty. Chancellor Angela Merkel and her ministers, if present at all, sit diagonally behind the orators, so that they can ignore them and catch up on some reading. This may explain why many of Berlin's political wonks go online for their thrills, watching prime minister's questions in Britain's House of Commons. How else to have fun?
那些领军人物们用仅剩的一些智慧来面另一个更加单调的现实。他们经常在一个几乎空无一人的屋子里演讲。总理安吉拉·默克尔和她的部长们如果出席了的话一般会坐在演说者的斜后面，这样他们就可以忽略那些演说家并且可以自己阅读自己的。这或许可以解释为什么很多柏林的政治家们喜欢在网上看着总理在英国下议院提问时自娱自乐。除了这样他们还有别的方式来寻开心吗？
Certainly not during the two Bundestag slots allotted to “question time”. One, on the first Wednesday of a parliamentary session, is billed as an interrogation of the government. But the government chooses the topic, the opposition must submit questions in writing the preceding Friday and ministers usually dispatch minions to read out replies. The second, also on Wednesdays, is meant to be more spontaneous but in practice turns out much the same.
当然这不是在议会设置的两个“提问时间”期间。一个“提问时间”是一个议会期的第一个周三，这被称为政府的审讯。但是是由政府选择主题，反对党必须在之后的星期五写出要提交的问题，然后部长一般分派手下宣读答复。第二个“提问时间”也是在星期三，这原本是更加自发自由的，但实践证明意义与前者没什么区别。
In April Norbert Lammert, the Bundestag's president, called these question periods the “weakest part of German parliamentary democracy” and “politically meaningless”. Last month he went from cranky to irate when, on one occasion, not a single cabinet member turned up. Another no-show, he let it be known, and he would call the charade off.
在四月议会主席诺贝特·拉默特将这些“提问时间”为“德国议会民主最大的弱点”并且“毫无政治意义”。当上个月无人出席议会时，他开始暴走了。第二次时，他便将此公之于众且不找任何借口伪装了。
The opposition, which has just one-fifth of the seats against the grand coalition's four-fifths, wants to change the format to make it more like Westminster, with direct questioning of the chancellor and her ministers. Unthinkable, for that would make politics a “show”, counters Mrs Merkel's Christian Democratic Union, the largest party. (Mr Lammert is also a Christian Democrat, but the Bundestag is his focus of loyalty.) So here is a modest proposal: if witty repartee is out of the question, why not take a leaf out of the Ukrainian or Italian parliament's book and go straight to the fisticuffs?
仅占五分之一席位的反对党来反对五分之四的大联盟，这五分之一希望能改变议会形式使之更像威斯敏斯特，可以更直接的向总理和部长提问。这个情形难以想象，因为这将使政治变成了一场“作秀”来抵制默克尔领导的最大党派基民盟。（拉默特也是基民盟党员，但是议会才是他效忠的重心。）因此得出了一个小小的建议：若已不能理智对话，为何不效仿乌克兰和意大利，亮出拳头一决雌雄？译者：邵夏沁 校对：顾佳慧
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