可可电台，每期节目一话题，让英语磨练耳朵的同时学到更多有益的小知识，丰富知识的同时受益于生活。

别毒害自己的爱情

To some extent, you see your spouse as helpless.

某种程度上，你嫌TA干啥啥不行

Enablers look at their partner and see someone who needs help: Help getting ahead in work, help getting their personal finances in order, help just getting by day-to-day.

一方看待对方就像是需要帮助的人：支持TA在工作上争先，将TA们的个人账务管理的仅仅有条，或者帮助TA处理日常事务。

But in all likelihood, the person was capable of handling things before the enabler came along, and they’ll be just as capable if their partner backs away a bit, Lipshutz said.

但是十有八九在另一半还没有出现的时候，他们可以处理好自己的的事情，所以如果另一半懂得放手他们自己也一样能够处理好。

“It may be important to continually ask ourselves:‘Is the other person truly capable of handling these matters on their own?’”she said.Sometimes, partners may truly need help and support, but other times, it’s more effective to let them do it and learn on their own, Lipshutz said.“At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that not all helpful gestures are truly helpful.”

我们应该问自己，另一半确实不能自己处理好这些事情么，这一点很重要。有时候他们确实需要我们的帮助和支持，但是其他时候让他们自己学着去做才更加有效。最后你要记得，不是所有的帮助都是真正的帮助。

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