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Sit down and talk about financial goals and values. Many couples often neglect this step, even if it seems obvious and common-sensical. But because talking about finances can be uncomfortable, they leave these important things unsaid, and often don’t even think about it individually. They have goals and values when it comes to money, but they’re not examined. That’s a mistake, as one person might want to be frugal in order to save for future goals, while the other might like to spend and enjoy things now, while the getting is good. The differences often come from different upbringings, and they can be emotionally charged (see next step for more on this). It doesn’t have to be difficult, though. Just tell your partner you’d like to sit down and have a talk about the future — what your goals are and how you can work together, as a team, to achieve them. In the beginning, just start spitting out different things each of you wants — a house, kids, college education for the kids, a healthy emergency fund, nice cars, travel each year, nice clothes, gadgets and computers, etc. Then start to prioritize, and see if you can come up with things in common. If you want different things, it is important that you talk about why, and consider the other person’s desires. If that’s what makes the other person happy, you should want to make them happy — that’s the basis of a good relationship. But relationships aren’t one-sided, either, so you should be able to be happy too. The point is that both sides should be considered, and you should look for a win-win solution or compromise so that you can both be happy. It might take a few meetings to get to actual written goals, with a timeframe for each, but that’s where you want to be eventually.
1. 坐下来，谈谈有关金钱的目标和价值所在。
很多夫妇经常会忽略这一点，即使它是那么地显而易见,是常识性的问题。但谈论金钱却让人感觉不舒服，所以他们不把这些重要的东西说出来，他们甚至不单独地去思考这么问题。在金钱上，他们有自己的目标和价值观，但他们却从不细想。这是错误的。因为其中一个人想节俭点，好存钱来实现将来的目标；而另一个却想着当下行乐。这差异通常是由成长经历导致的，也可能是情感上的问题。（详情请看第二点）然而，这不是什么难题。只要告诉你的另一半你想坐下来，谈谈你们的将来---你们的目标和怎么共同去实现你们的目标。首先，把你们各自想要的东西都说出来---一所房子，孩子，大学经费，突发医疗基金，靓车，每年旅游一次，衣服，小配件，电脑等等。然后就开始优先排列，看看你们是否有哪些是一致的。假如你们想要的都不一样，那么给出理由是很重要的，并且要考虑一下另一半的欲望。如果那能取悦另一半，你就得那样做---这是感情好的基础所在。但感情也不是单方面的，所以你也得乐于那么做。重点是双方都要考虑，并且要找到一个双赢的解决之道，又或者是作出让步，这样才能皆大欢喜。在写目标，制定时间之前，很可能需要多次交谈，但这也正是你们最终会经历的一步。
