Growing up at a distance – geographical and emotional – from her chilly father meant Katherine Burdett always doubted his feelings for her. Until his final few days…
从小到大,不论是平日接触还是情感交流,Katherine Burdett对冷漠的父亲总有疏离感,致使她常常怀疑父亲对自己的感情,直到父亲弥留之际……
I grew up bereft of hugs. Neither of my parents was the cuddly type. Greetings involving kissing caused me to wince, and hugging generally just made me feel awkward.
我的成长过程中没有拥抱,因为我的父母都不是喜欢拥抱的人。寒暄时的亲吻让我畏缩,而拥抱则会使我陷入尴尬。
Then one hug changed all that. One month before my 40th birthday my dad had heart surgery. As he came round, days later, he grabbed me and hugged me so hard I had to push with all my might to keep my head from pressing down on his newly stitched torso.
而后来的一个拥抱将一切彻底改变。我40岁生日前的那个月父亲接受了心脏手术。几天后,当他苏醒过来时,他抓着我并紧紧地拥抱了我,他是如此用力以至于我使了好大力气才推离他的身体,而那上面有着新近才缝合的创口。
It was a hug to make up for all those we had never had. Days later as he slowly started to gain strength he told me for the first time ever that he loved me, and through my tears I told him I loved him too.
这个拥抱弥补了一切我们所不曾拥有的。几天后,他开始慢慢恢复体力,然后有生以来第一次他告诉我他爱我,我泪流满面,对他说我也爱他。
I began planning how to bake him better – with carrot cakes, victoria sponges, jelly and ice cream. My maternal streak kicked in and I fantasised about wheeling him through the park and feeding him home-made goodies. Then he died.
我开始计划着如何用萝卜糕、果酱夹层蛋糕、果酱和奶油为他烘焙更美味的各式点心。我的母性气质急剧爆发,我幻想推着坐着轮椅的他在公园漫步,请他品尝自制小点。可是不久他过世了。