This style, says Haltzman, is characterized by a woman's inability to do much of anything on her own. She's the damsel in distress—the wife who can't change a lightbulb, figure out how to program the DVR or pay the credit card bill without her husband's help. She feels as if she must run all decisions by her husband, and she frequently leans on him for guidance and direction in the way a little girl might lean on her father.
霍斯曼说，这种类型妻子的特点就是表现出来的女性无法独立做什么事情的那种无力感。她是苦恼的女子——没有丈夫的帮助，自己就不会换灯泡、不知道怎么制作DVR或者还信用卡。她觉得一切似乎都应该由丈夫来决定，她常常像小女孩依赖父亲那样依赖丈夫的指导和说明。

"This dynamic can appeal to a man's desire to be the leader, the provider," says Haltzman. "He can feel reinforced by having someone who values his skills, and she can be reinforced by allowing him to absorb a lot of the stress."
“这种情况可能会满足男人希望成为领导者或者做决定者的愿望，因为有人承认他的能力，所以男人会感到自己受到了鼓励，而妻子则因为允许丈夫承受大量压力也会被奖励。”

But while a scenario like this can work in the beginning of a relationship, it's hard to sustain it over time, and it can become problematic, he says, fostering loss of respect and resentment. And, he says, "it may feel good at first to have someone in the driver's seat, but after a few years you're going to want to take over the wheel every now and then."
但是，他说，这样的情节只有在夫妻关系刚开始的情况下起作用，很难维持很长时间，很快就会出问题，引起夫妻间的互不尊重或者怨恨。他还说：“刚开始的时候，有人帮你开车可能让你感觉很好，但过上几年，你可能时不时的就会想自己开一开了。”

How to make a change? It can be helpful to identify the root cause of this behavior, adds Dr. Parrott. "Look at what's going on beneath the surface," he says. Women who were neglected or who didn't get adequate attention during their childhood can sometimes fall into these roles.
那么怎么改变这种情况呢？帕洛特博士的意见是要找出其根源。他说：“要看看表象下到底发生了什么。有时候，如果女性在童年时代被忽视或者没有得到足够的重视，那她就很可能成为小女孩一样的妻子。”

The Bossy Wife专横的妻子

Do you write your husband to-do lists? Get on his case about helping around the house? Restrict his golfing dates and tell him who he can hang out with and who he can't? Don't be too embarrassed; Haltzman says your wife style is actually quite typical. "This tends to be what the majority of American households fall into, the woman taking charge of aspects of the home life, and sometimes the husband," he adds.
你有没有列个单子告诉你丈夫做这个那个？有没有让他在家里帮助做事？你有没有限制他打高尔夫球，告诉他能和谁一起去，不能和谁一起去？不用觉得很不好意思，霍斯曼说，这种妻子类型其实相当典型。他还说：“美国的大多数家庭会出现这种情况，在这些家庭中，有时候是妻子负责家庭生活方面，有时候是丈夫。”

A little bossiness is fine, he says. "We men really don't mind Honey Do lists." But, when bossing borders on controlling, you might consider changing your ways. "Men like to joke about the ball-and-chain, but this behavior robs men of independence and leads to a weaker connection between a husband and wife," continues Haltzman. "When you try to control his agenda, he can start to feel as though you're taking away an important part of his manhood: choice." Plus, he adds, taking off the drill sergeant hat once in a while can improve your sex life. "Men want women with at least some sense of vulnerability—this adds to sexual attractiveness."
霍斯曼说，小小跋扈一下没什么不好。他说：“我们男人真的不在意什么Honey Do lists。” 但是，一旦跋扈到了想控制别人的底部，那就得改变方式了。他还说：“男人喜欢拿球和链的情况开玩笑，但是这种行为剥夺了男人的自由，使得丈夫和妻子间的关系变得薄弱。如果你试图干涉他的日程，他会觉得好像你在把他男子气概的一部分——选择权——夺走一样。”另外，他还补充到，偶尔把你的教官毛摘下来一次还能有助于改善你们的性生活。“男人希望女人至少有一点娇弱感，这样的女人会更加性感，更有吸引力。”

The Superwife超级妻子

Your husband doesn't do laundry (remember the time he washed lights with darks—in hot water?), he is a deer in the headlights at the grocery store and the last time he cooked was... back in college—and it was boxed macaroni and cheese. So you step up to the plate... and do it all.
你的丈夫不会洗衣服（他有没有把浅色衣服和深色衣服一起洗，还是用热水？），在商店里就像被车灯吓呆的鹿，他上次做饭时，哦，早在大学的时候，而且那次做的是盒装通心粉和奶酪。所以你就开始行动了，自己来做这一期。

Wives that fit this category, says Haltzman, tend to fit the super-mom stereotype. Take Annette Cottrell, 43, a mother of two in Seattle, Washington, who writes the blog SustainableEats.com. In addition to running a small business that pays the mortgage, Cottrell says she's happy to manage her household without much help from her husband, who often works long hours. When it comes down to it, she says, "I tend to do it all—from the cooking to taking care of the kids’ needs."
霍斯曼说，这种类型的妻子往往适合超级妈妈的刻板印象。比如安妮特 科特雷尔，她今年43岁，是两个孩子的母亲，住在华盛顿州的西雅图，她博客的地址是SustainableEats.com。科特雷尔说，除了为按揭而做些小生意外，她还很高兴的管理着家庭事务，不用丈夫帮忙，因为他总是在工作。说到这个时，她说：“我常常自己做所有事情，从做饭到看孩子，都是自己做。”

But, superwife can quickly turn into super-burned-out wife. In fact, according to recent research, women often suffer from lack of sleep when they try to do it all. "This can get exhausting for the woman," says Haltzman. "She may feel taken for granted and unappreciated, which can lead to unhappiness and a breakdown of communication between her and her husband."
但是，超级妻子们很快会变成超级疲惫不堪妻子。实际上，根据最近的研究，女性通常会因为她们想自己承担所有的事而造成睡眠不足。霍斯曼说：“这会使女性感到疲惫。她们可能会觉得这是理所当然的而忽略这种疲惫感，这会引起她与丈夫间沟通上的不愉快或者障碍。”

If this sounds like you, the advice isn't to stop doing, but to start asking. Sit down with your husband, advises Haltzman, and make a list of the things he can help you with. But remember, he may not load the dishwasher or wash the kids’ hair the way you do. "Women who are truly happy are those who learn to use their husbands as a resource, not an impediment to their happiness," he adds.
如果你像这一类型的妻子，那么给你的建议并不是说以后就“什么都不做”了，而是要学会“要求”。霍斯曼的建议是，和丈夫坐下来谈一谈，列张单子看看他能帮你做些什么。但是记住，他用洗碗机或者给孩子洗头发的方式可能会和你不同。“懂得利用丈夫这个资源会让女人真正的幸福，而不会成为幸福的阻碍。”