Though marriage is practiced in almost all countries of the world, the customs are quite different from one culture to another. It is interesting for me to compare the customs of marriage in the United States with those in my country.

I've lived in the U.S. for four years now, but I'm still not comfortable with the customs here. In fact, what seems strange to me is that courting or dating is not always for the purpose of finding a husband or wife. Some people seem to do it as a hobby.

Here in the United States, I have noticed that courting is begun by the young couple themselves, and they seem to have a lot of freedom to decide and do what they want. Both young men and women date a number of different people. They do it without the knowledge or help or their parents. In fact, I have known several friends who got married without even telling their parents or other family members.

At the actual wedding ceremony, the father of the bride symbolically gives his daughter to the groom. It's only a custom, I think, because the bride and groom already know each other quit well. The bride and groom stand together in front of the religious leader or government official to be married. The official reads from a short prepared speech and then asks both the man and woman if they are willing to be married to the other. If they both say "yes," and nobody attending the wedding stands up to object, they are declared "man and wife." It is interesting that the two families are asked if there are any objections right during the ceremony. Perhaps it is because the family members are not as involved in the wedding preparations as they are in Iran.

Marriage is different in a number of ways in my country. In Iran, courting is more serious, and is performed strictly for the purpose of marriage. It is definitely not a part of the fun-filled years of growing up like it is here in America. It is the mother of the young man who initiates the process by visiting the home of a potential bride. She goes to inspect the girl, and discover the position and wealth of the girl's family. If she is pleased, then she will return another day with her son. If her son is also pleased, then the two families get together to talk about the dowry, the wedding ceremony, who they will hire to perform the marriage and other matters.

The actual marriage ceremony is quite different, however, from the American wedding ceremonies I have seen. The bride, dressed in white, with a veil over her face, sits in a room alone. She sits on a special piece of silk which is surrounded on two sides by very long pieces of flat bread. Two mullahs stand outside the door to this room reading from the Koran. Twice the bride must remain silent to the questions of the mullahs. The groom's mother then presents a gift of gold to show that her side of the family is serious. The bride then responds to the mullahs in much the same manner as do Americans when they say "I do." The groom is allowed to go into the bride's room while the mullahs take care of the official marriage papers.

One more difference between the marriage customs of the United States and my country is that the bride does not immediately go to the home of her new husband. For several months, she continues to stay at her own home preparing her dowry and receiving instructions from her mother on how to be a good wife and mother. After a few moths, the groom and his relatives come for the bride and take her to his home along with the dowry.

Though I can certainly see the advantages of the freedom that freedom that is given to American youths to choose whom they will marry and when, I think I still prefer the customs of my home country. I suppose that's be cause there is not so much guessing and uncertainty.