Pizza is a vegetable

Okay, sure, it's really that Congress merely upheld a ruling about tomato paste, but that hasn't made a difference to the general public, which has decided that pizza is now a vegetable. The ruling credits tomato paste with having nutritional value-- one eighth of a cup has as much value as a half-cup of veggies--which certainly won't help us reverse the obesity epidemic plaguing our country's people. But hey, if the world might be ending, we may as well pig out.

披萨成了健康食品

好吧，其实，国会只是裁定蕃茄酱属于健康蔬菜，但是这对公众没什么两样，人们已经认定披萨就是蔬菜。国会的裁决认为蕃茄酱具有营养价值——八分之一杯的蕃茄酱与半杯蔬菜的营养价值相同——当然，这对我们对抗困扰全美、威胁人们健康的肥胖症没什么帮助。但是，如果真的有世界末日，我们不妨做个饱死鬼。