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Every office, every building, everywhere you go, you see people who are just difficult to get on with. They can be obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, or just plain clumsy. They may even be brilliant at what they do, but you just know that when it comes to socializing and interacting with people. They are terrible at it and you usually avoid these people whenever possible. Emotional intelligence, social graces, friendliness are just some of the things these people lack. These things are known as “soft skills” and we all need them, otherwise we could end up as social outcasts or as ‘that weird guy’ who nobody wants to deal with.
每一间办公室，每一栋大楼，你所到之处都会发现有人难以融入他们所处的环境。他们要么惹人讨厌、粗鲁无礼，要么不为他人着想，或者笨手笨脚。他们也许在自己的专业方面很优秀，但在社会人际交往方面就完全不行。他们在社交方面一塌糊涂，人们都尽可能避免和这类人打交道。情商、社会礼仪、亲切感正是这类人所缺乏的。这些要素被称为“软技能”，我们都需要它们，否则我们就可能被社会排挤，或者变成人人避而远之的“怪人”。
To better improve your “soft skills”, here are 20 tips you can follow:
想要加强你的软技能，可以试试下面这20条小贴士：
1. How to remember people’s names, faces, or places. If you can remember at least one of these, you’re heading in the right direction.
1、知道如何记住他人的姓名、长相和工作地点。如果你能至少记住其中一项，你已经找对方向了
2. Opening successive doors for people. (It takes finesse if you’re doing it for multiple and consecutive sets of doors — and you have multiple people.)
2、帮他人打开几扇连续的门。（如果是很多扇连在一起的门，而且同时有多个人通过，是需要策略的。）
3. Keeping in contact with your relationships. A great way to hone your soft skills and maintain relationships.
3、和你的人际圈里保持联系。这是提升软技能并保持人际关系的好办法。
4. Learn to be a better listener. Don’t interrupt people, don’t try to control the conversation, and show genuine interest in what people are saying.
4、学会做一名更好的倾听者。不要打断他人的说话，不要试图掌控一场谈话，要对他人所讲的事情表现出真诚的兴趣。
5. Offer people something to drink and eat when they enter your home.
5、当有人来你家做客时，准备食物饮料招待他们。
6. Learn how to make fast healthy snacks for your visitors.
6、学习为你的访客快速制作健康的小点心。
7. The Elevator Rule. Let others out first. This also applies to “non-elevator” situations as well, such as on buses, boats, and trains.
7、电梯法则——让他人先出去。这在“非电梯”情况下也同样适用，比如在汽车、船只或者火车上。
8. Practice writing emails to be short, respectful, and to the point. No one wants to read an essay in email format.
8、练习写作电子邮件，做到简单明了且有礼貌。没有人想读一封像散文一样的电子邮件。
9. Being discreet when giving tips to relevant service professionals. No one should see the money. This takes some finesse.
9、在给相关服务人士小费时要注意，不要让其他人看到你给了多少钱。这需要一些技巧。
10. Cell phone manners. No one wants to hear your conversation in public transport. It’s supposed to be a private conversation, not a public broadcast.
10、手机礼仪。没有人想在乘坐公共交通工具时听到你的谈话。这应该是私人谈话，而不是公共广播。
11. Handwriting letters to people adds a personal touch. You can meet almost anyone with enough persistent handwritten letters.
11、手写的信件会增加一份亲切感。手写信件累积到足够多时，你就好像见到了这个人一样。
12. Take interest in the passions of others. This might mean feigning interest initially, but it’s likely that feigned interest will eventually transform itself into a genuine feeling.
12、对他人所热衷的食物抱有兴趣。最初也许意味着你要假装感兴趣，但很有可能这种假装的兴趣最终会演变为真正的兴趣。
13. Taking pride in your appearance helps to make you feel good — and improves how people perceive you.
13、对自己的外表有自信会让你有好心情——也有助于他人对你产生好的印象。
14. If someone walks into a conversation, bring them up to speed or give them an idea of what you’re talking about…as well as a short intro. For example: “Kevin this is Frank, my friend from school. We were just talking about this new smartphone app.”
14、如果有人新加入一场谈话，帮助他们跟上你们的节奏，告诉他们你们在聊些什么，并简单介绍一些其他人。比如这样：“凯文，这是弗兰克，我在学校的朋友。我们刚刚聊到这个新的智能手机应用程序。”
15. Keep a mental note of people’s extroversion/introversion tendencies. It prepares you for their reaction to the events or situations around them and builds up your empathy.
15、记住他人或外向或内向的性格特点。这样你就会知道他们对于周围的事情会做出何种反应，帮助你建立同感。
16. Make introductions. (Most people are awful at this and many more forget to ever do this… probably because they can’t remember people’s names.)
16、在朋友之间做相互介绍。（大多数对此不擅长，更多的人根本就忘了这个……也许因为他们记不住别人的名字。）
17. Stay positive. Don’t whine and complain. It gives people a negative impression about your outlook on life and makes people think you are ‘grumpy’.
17、保持积极的情绪。不要怨天尤人。这会让他人对你的生活态度留下负面印象，而且让人觉得你是一个“暴脾气”。
18. Don’t babble. You know people who just won’t shut up. You usually avoid them because you want to engage in a conversation, not be talked at. Don’t be like them.
18、不要喋喋不休。你认识一些一说话就停不住的人，你不愿和他们打交道，因为你也想加入一场谈话，而不只是当听众。不要做这样的人。
19. Tolerance and patience. You will meet people who seem to have no redeeming qualities. Showing tolerance is a great way to accept people for who they are.
19、保持宽容和忍耐。你会遇到一些似乎不知道道歉的人。宽容大度是接受这些人的最好办法。
20 .Don’t argue. This doesn’t mean you should be a “yes man”, or act dumb. It means you should try to see things from their perspective or situation, even if you don’t agree. You maybe able to empathize with them.
20、不要与人争执。这并不意味着你要一味附和或者装聋作哑，而是你应该试着站在他人的角度去看问题，哪怕你并不认同他们。这样一来你也许会理解他们的想法。
Learning good social skills can make you more approachable, and people will see you in a better, more positive light. It will enhance your social aptitude and the more you practice it, the more you will improve in your sociability. It will help in your personal and work life.
学习社交技能会让你更平易近人，人们也会对你产生更好更积极的印象。这会提升你的社交能力，你越多加练习，你的交际能力就越好。这会对你的生活和工作都产生帮助。
