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As managers, we tend to like to work with people who agree with us, who are easy to work with, who don’t directly challenge us. While this is natural, it’s not always optimal. The path of least resistance isn’t always the path to most productivity.
作为管理者，我们往往都喜欢与这一类人共事：意见一致、易于相处以及不会直接和我们叫板。虽然喜欢这种人是很自然的事情，但并这不总是一种最理想的状态。阻力最小，成效却并不总是最高。
This line of thinking was brought to mind recently when I retweeted a brief Harvard Business Review Management Tip on “ How to Manage Someone You Don’t Like, ” describing concisely the need to keep in check your own frustrations and biases when managing in such circumstances. (It was based on a longer article of the same title from this August by HBR Contributing Editor Amy Gallo.)
最近，这种思路让我回想起我在推特上转发的《哈佛商业评论》（Harvard Business Review）“看下属不顺眼怎么办（How to Manage Someone You Don’t Like）”一文的摘要，这篇文章简要介绍了在这种情况下进行管理时，克制你个人的沮丧和偏见的必要性。（这篇文章根据《哈佛商业评论》特约编辑艾米·盖洛今年8月发表的一篇篇幅较长的同名文章撰写。）
I had a quick inkling this was a resonant subject, as within a minute of my HBR tip tweet, I received a tweet back from a manager in Lagos, Nigeria: “this is nice becoz it will improve the quality of our leadership.”
我迅速从中看出点端倪，这是一个能够引起共鸣的话题，在我刚刚发出推文不到一分钟，我便收到来自尼日利亚首都拉各斯（Lagos）的一位经理的推特消息：“非常不错，因为它将提高我们的领导素质。”
Hard to argue with that… and it made me think about my own experiences in this realm over several decades of management. First off, I’d say there were very few people out of all those I’d managed whom I could really say I didn’t like. Full disclosure: I’m by nature a consensus-builder, tend to get along with people, not seek conflict. I’ve always loved team sports, big believer in the power of teams in business, feel little of substance is accomplished in a large organization without complex collaboration. But that said, notice I still said very few people I didn’t like, not none. Accordingly, my modest contribution to the management topic of liking and disliking and dealing with it.
很难反驳这种说法……它使我回想起我在这个领域几十年的管理经验。首先，我想说在我管理的所有人当中，我看不顺眼的人真的寥寥无几。完整披露：我本身是一个共识构建者，很容易跟他人相处，不会没事找事。我一直都喜欢团队体育运动，并相信企业中团队的力量，我认为如果在一家大型企业缺少复杂的协作是很难取得实质性成果的。话虽如此，请注意，我还是提到了有极少数人是我看不顺眼的，不是没有。相应地，我对喜欢、不喜欢和如何处理等管理话题发表一点我的看法。
So if you find yourself in this difficult bind – managing someone who’s a capable employee but you’re genuinely not liking – how should you approach it? (It’s important to say “capable employee, ” since if the individual is a weak performer and not liked, odds are his or her stay in the role won’t be a long one.) My suggestions:
那么，如果你发现自己身处尴尬境地——管理那些有能力但你又确实看不惯的员工时——你应该如何处理呢？（指出是“有能力的员工”很重要，因为如果这个人能力差，又不招人待见的话，他/她在这里久待的可能性不大）我的建议是：
Accept it, it’s just human nature, accept the inevitability of interpersonal conflict – Don’t agonize or beat yourself up over it, but assume in the normal course of human events this is a normal occurrence… and look for constructive openings rather than dwelling on negatives.
接受它，这只是人类的天性，接受人际冲突的必然性——不要因为这个而感到极度痛苦或者自责不已，而是把它看成这是在正常情况下的正常现象……寻求建设性地敞开心胸，而不是纠缠于消极的一面。
Recognize this is business, not pleasure, and drain the emotion out of it – As I used to tell my employees during especially hard and irritating assignments: “Hey, that’s why it’s called work, not play. If it were play, we wouldn’t be getting paid for it.” Remember these are business relationships, not friendships. Even turbulent business relationships can yield business benefits. Compartmentalize.
认识到这是工作，不是休闲，并化解由此带来的情绪——正如我过去常常对我的员工说的，尤其是在面对艰难和恼人的任务时：“嘿，这就是为什么它被称为工作，而不是游戏。如果它是一种游戏，我们将不会为此得到报酬！”记住这些就是工作关系，并非友谊。即使是混乱的工作关系也能产生商业利益。要将这些划分开来。
Try as best you can to see things through the eyes of others – Always a ‘best practice’ in management and life. No one’s perfect; all of us of course have faults. It’s entirely possible some of the fault in a fractured relationship is yours. Might there be aspects of your behavior that are causing an employee to relate to you in persistently frustrating ways? Might such perceptions be legitimate? Indeed possible.
尽可能通过其他人的眼睛来看事情——一直都是管理和生活中的一个“最佳实践”。人无完人，每个人都有缺点。一段关系的破裂完全有可能是因为你的一些过失所致。或许是你行为的某个方面才让员工一直以令人沮丧的方式与你相处？或许这种看法是合理的？的确是有可能的。
Recognize that creativity and innovation are often byproducts of tension, conflict, stress and agitation – Best for last, this is the most important point, with the most organizational upside. Right, wrong or indifferent, when I reflect back on some of the biggest management-employee conflicts I had (and witnessed), they were generally with the brightest individuals. Who also were the most cantankerous, invested, and ultimately capable of the keenest product and consumer insights. Which generally resulted from considerable discussion, debate and struggle before solutions were found. Was I always happy with the person or the process? No. But was I often pleased with the end results? Unquestionably.
认识到创造力和创新往往是紧张、冲突、压力和焦虑的副产品——最好的留到最后，这是最重要的一点，对组织具有最多的正面意义。无论对与错还是中立，在我回顾我所经历（亲眼目睹）的管理层和员工之间爆发的一些最激烈冲突时，发现往往是与最聪明的个人之间发生的。此外，那些人也是脾气最坏、最受器重、并具有最敏锐的产品和消费者洞察力。而这样的洞察力，往往源自大量的讨论、辩论和争斗。我总是对这个人或者这个流程感到满意吗？不是。但我对最终结果经常感到满意吗？毫无疑问。
Not all difficult people are talented, and as a manager you want to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and not squander your finite mental energy unnecessarily. But some of the most talented people I ever met in business were also the most difficult. They contributed a great deal in terms of creativity and critical thinking.
并非所有难相处的人都才华横溢，作为一个经理，你希望能够甄别优劣，而不要将你有限的精力浪费在不必要的地方。不过，我在商界见过的最有天赋的人当中，其中一些人也是最难打交道的。他们对创造力和批判性思维做出了很大的贡献。
They weren’t easy, but the road easiest traveled doesn’t always get you where you most need to go.
他们虽不易相处，但是不费吹灰之力走过的那条路并不总会把你带到你最需要去的地方。
