评论
打印
We all know the workplace isn’t the best place to cry. But sometimes it just happens. Your anger or frustration boils over into tears. Or perhaps a co-worker bursts in and sobs at your desk.
众所周知，职场可不是适合放声大哭的地方。但这种事有时候难免发生。你的愤怒或沮丧会变成泪水夺眶而出。或者有同事会突然闯进来，趴在你的办公桌上啜泣不已。
Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of unexpected waterworks, how do you handle this situation?
不论是自己流泪，还是看到别人流泪，面对这种意外情况，你该如何应对？
Why people cry at work
人们为什么会在工作中哭泣？
First, let’s address why people might cry in the office. Sometimes a heated argument or conflict will push one party to the point of tears, from anger or frustration. Or the sobs could come as a welcome release of tension from stress or feeling powerless. Maybe you’re simply sad because of a personal struggle or a loss in your life.
首先，我们需要找出人们在办公室哭泣的原因。有时候，激烈的争论或冲突会导致一方因为愤怒或沮丧而流泪。在面对压力或感觉无能为力的时候，哭泣或许是一种很好的减压方式。或许，你只是因为个人的困难或生活中的损失而感到伤心。
Often, the tears bubble to the surface because someone gives a sympathetic look or ear. That’s what happened to Dan Binstock, a partner at attorney search firm Garrison & Sisson in Washington D.C. A lawyer whom Binstock had recruited to a new job came into the office after giving notice to his current partners and being subjected to a guilt trip for leaving them. In just a few minutes, the man started crying.
有时候，我们会因为别人颇具同情心的表情或倾听而忍不住流下泪水。华盛顿特区律师猎头公司Garrison & Sisson的合伙人丹o宾斯托克就曾遇到过这种情况。宾斯托克为一个新工作岗位招聘的律师来到他的办公室。这位律师此前刚刚通知现在律所的合伙人他要离开，并为此深感内疚。不一会儿，那个人便哭了起来。
“I could tell he had been through the wringer,” Binstock recalls. “It was that feeling of disappointing everyone and how they were manipulating him. It wore him out at a time when he was already extremely sensitive and had a lot of stress from moving his practice.”
宾斯托克回忆道：“看得出来，他经历过一番折磨。这种令大家失望的感觉和其他人对他的反应，深深影响着他。当时他已经极度敏感，因为要跳槽而面临巨大的压力，这种情绪令他精疲力竭。”
Some years ago, Laurin Blumenthal Kleiman, global co-head of Sidley Austin’s investment management practice, received the unwelcome news that her middle son’s school wouldn’t offer him a place in the fall. Her son’s special needs had made finding the right educational fit a challenge in the first place, and it was a time of year when it was too late to find another school placement easily. “He was being tossed from the one environment where we thought he could succeed and there was no alternative,” Kleiman recalls.
几年前，盛德国际律师事务所（Sidley Austin）投资管理业务部的全球联席主管劳林o布鲁门塔尔o克莱曼，收到一个糟糕的通知：她第二个儿子就读的学校拒绝在秋天继续给他提供上学机会。儿子的特殊需求让她很难找到合适的学校，而且当时再去找其他学校已经为时已晚。克莱曼回忆道：“我们本来认为他会在那里取得成功，根本没有备选方案，结果却被抛弃。”
She approached her boss to ask for time away from work so she could manage the school search and mandatory meetings. “He looked so concerned that I just started weeping,” she says.
于是，她找老板请假，去解决孩子的择校问题和一些必须参加的会议。她说道：“他看起来非常关心我的事，所以我禁不住哭了起来。”
How to respond to tears
如何应对泪水
If you’re crying because of frustration with a work issue, don’t ignore the situation, advises Joan Williams, professor at the University of California Hastings School of Law. Instead, say, “When I’m crying, it’s because I’m pissed. This is what it looks like when I am really outraged.”
加州大学哈斯汀法学院（University of California Hastings School of Law）教授乔安o威廉姆斯建议，如果你因为工作问题导致的沮丧而哭泣，不要忽视这种情况。相反，要说出来：“我之所以在哭泣，是因为我很生气。这就是我真正愤怒时候的样子。”
Continue speaking about the issue on the table if you physically can. If not, don’t apologize, but say, “now we’re going to discontinue this discussion because I find what happened just that troubling. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to continue this conversation,” Williams says.
如果可以的话，把问题摆在桌面上进行讨论。如果做不到，也不必道歉，但威廉姆斯表示，要告诉对方：“下面我们先中断讨论吧，因为我发现情况有些麻烦。如果我做好了继续谈话的准备，我会告诉大家。”
The key is to acknowledge the emotion or the circumstances that led to your outburst, but don’t apologize for it. “When you start apologizing, it takes one person’s discomfort and makes two people uncomfortable,” Binstock says. Indeed, if you’re crying because of a sympathetic response, “there’s no reason to apologize that you feel comfortable enough with someone to let your emotions out.”
关键是要承认导致自己情绪爆发的情感或环境，但没有必要道歉。宾斯托克表示：“如果你开始道歉，对方会感觉不舒服，这样会让两个人都难受。”事实上，如果你是因为对方的同情反应而哭泣，“更没有理由因为有人让你宣泄自己的情绪而向对方表示歉意。”
Then, move on. “Just get over it. Everyone else will forget about it if you forget about it,” Kleiman says.
之后，要继续前进。克莱曼说道：“要忘记它。只要你自己把这件事忘掉，其他人就不会记住它。”
That’s good advice if you’re on the receiving end of tears as well. Don’t make a big deal about it, and try to move past the incident.
这项建议也适用于别人在你面前哭泣的时候。不要在这件事上花费太多精力，把它当作一个小插曲，尽快放下，继续前进。
The upside to crying
哭泣的好处
While no expert would recommend crying as a strategy for career success, there is a silver lining. Tears can be cathartic or a means of clearing the air.
尽管从来没有专家建议把哭泣作为职业成功的策略，但这种情况也有一丝亮点。眼泪可以是消除误会的良药。
Kim Bowers, CEO of retailer CST Brands, only rarely has been pushed to the point of crying at work. At a previous company, she was in the middle of a lengthy transaction, going through the umpteenth negotiation session with the counterparty, when she finally lost it. She slammed books, made some intemperate comments, and quickly left the conference room. She sought out an empty corridor where she ultimately burst into tears.
零售公司CST Brands的CEO吉姆o鲍尔斯很少在工作中哭泣。在此前供职的一家公司，她曾经负责一笔漫长的交易，与交易对手经过了无数次谈判，最终还是以失败告终。她把书摔在桌子上，说了一些过激的话，然后快步离开会议室。在一个没有人的走廊，她终于放声大哭起来。
“It was a buildup of weeks and months. Nothing has ever been as tough,” Bowers recalls. “I envy folks that have the ability to absorb it and move on. Every interaction I have is personal. When they go poorly and I can’t fix it, I don’t like that.”
鲍尔斯回忆道：“那是几周甚至几个月的情绪积累。以前从未经历过如此艰难的事情。我很羡慕那些能够承受住压力继续前行的人。对于我来说，每一次人际交往都是私人往来。在他们身处困境的时候，我却无能为力，我不喜欢这种感觉。”
She found a quiet place to regain her composure, and the team continued with the discussions. While Bowers would have preferred to have kept her temper, she didn’t dwell on the incident. In fact, the negotiations may even have picked up pace because the outburst brought home to everyone in the room how drawn-out the discussions had become. “It probably helped that I snapped because I was the last person in the room they expected to snap,” she says.
她找了一个安静的地方让自己恢复冷静，然后团队继续讨论。虽然鲍尔斯更愿意控制自己的脾气，但她没有在这件事上纠结下去。事实上，谈判甚至可能加快了节奏，因为她的突然爆发让会议室里的所有人认识到，讨论已经拖延了很长时间。她说道：“我的突然崩溃可能有所帮助，因为在他们看来，我应该是房间里最后一个撑不下去的人。”
As executive director of nonprofit Food & Friends, Craig Shniderman works on a daily basis with adults living with AIDS, cancer, and other challenging illnesses, as well as his team of staff and volunteers who provide meals to those individuals. It’s difficult work that sometimes becomes emotional, and that’s a good thing.
作为非营利机构Food & Friends的执行董事，克雷格o施耐德曼每天接触的都是患有艾滋病、癌症和其他疑难杂症的人，还有为这些人提供食物的员工和志愿者。这份工作并不轻松，有时候会变得情绪化，不过这是好事。
“Sometimes, to tear up is a way of communicating,” Shniderman says, recalling a time when an acquaintance of his needed Food & Friends service—someone in her early 30s, the same age as his own child. “When I thought about that woman, I thought about my own child.”
施耐德曼回忆起一位需要Food&Friends服务的熟人，她刚刚30多岁，与他的孩子年龄相仿。他说道：“有时候，流泪是一种沟通的方式。每当我想到那位女士，我都会想起自己的孩子。”
Talking to a colleague about the situation, he started to tear up, and he welcomed the experience. “It was actually good because it connected me in a very powerful way to the work I do in my life,” he says.
与同事谈到这种情形时，他流下了眼泪，但他欣然接受这种经历。他说道：“这种经历很好，因为它将我与我的毕生事业强有力地联系在一起。”
