I am guilty of tossing chewed gum out the car window like it was 1979. I remember last year while driving with my son and boyfriend, my son said, "I need to throw my gum out," and Manboy X said, "Just throw it out the window." I attacked him for being totally reckless, irresponsible and being a horrible role model, even though the next time I was driving alone and wanted to spit my gum out, I chucked it out without a thought. That's what WE do, but we can't let our kids know! And yes, I still roll my window down and slyly throw it out, every time. Recently I got caught. And I copped to it. I said, "Oh wow, I didn't even realize I did that!" Which was essentially true. Now that I've been outed, maybe it's time I grow up and stop littering.

This has been an ongoing family fight and one that I eventually lost when I decided to poll everyone I know about tying the dog shit bag. But apparently, you're a total jerk if you just toss it in the trash without tying. Even though I lost the fight, I continue not to tie it, probably as a "fuck you" to my accusers. Anyway, I am pretty sure I'm setting an example for my kids on how to be a total douche bag. I think I need to tie the bag.

I have burped at the dinner table and laughed my head off for a few seconds before realizing I'm a mom and I can't do that. Not to mention I turn around and get upset if a kid does it. Not cool. I have no problem with it for around a solid five minutes before it starts to get out of control, and then I try to stop it but it's too late. I know, I give out mixed messages about this stuff and it has to stop, or the kids may turn out to be a perpetual teenage boy like myself.