英语幽默
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked(忽略) a rule of etiquette(礼貌), you're being rude.
When your boss skips(略过) a few rules, he's being original(独创的).
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping(拍马屁).
When your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative(合作).
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you have one too many drinks at a social, you're a drunken bum(耍酒疯者).
When your boss does the same, he appreciated(欣赏) women.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it 's because he's overworked.
Love, Lust and Marriage
LOVE - When intercourse(性交) is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax(高潮).
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - What's a climax?
LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."
LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.
LOVE - When nobody else matters.
LUST - When nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things to your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score. 13.Before and After You fall in love
BEFORE - You take my breath away
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating(窒息)
BEFORE - Twice a night
AFTER - Twice a month
BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control
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