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(In training)
Drill Seargent: Gump! What’s your sole purpose in this army?
Forrest: To do whatever you tell me, Drill Surgent!
Drill Sergent: Goddamn it! Gump. You’re a goddamn genius. That is the most outstanding answer I’ve ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people...
Forrest: Now for some reason, I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It’s not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight. And always, answer every question with “Yes, Drill Sergeant.”
Drill Sergeant: Is that clear?
All soldiers: Yes, Drill Sergeant! Bubba: What you do is drag your nets along the bottom. On a good day, you can catch over a hundred pounds of shrimp. Everything goes all right, two men shrimpin’ ten hour...less what you spend on gas . Forrest: Done! Drill Sergeant.
Drill Sergeant: Gump! Why did you put that weapon together so quickly, Gump?
Forrest: You told me to, Drill Sergeant.
Drill Sergeant: Jesus H. Christ! This is a new company record. If it wouldn’t be a waste of such a damn fine enlisted man, I would recommend you for OCS, Private Gump. You are going to be a general, someday, Gump. Now, disassemble your weapon and continue.
Bubba: Anyway, like I was saying, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it, shrimp kakabs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp in potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich... that’s about it.
Forrest: Nighttime in the army is a lonely time. We’d lay there in our bunks, and I’d miss my mama and I’d miss Jenny.
Soldier: Hey, Gump. Get a load of the tits on her.
Forrest: Turns out, Jenny had gotten into some trouble over some photos of her and her college sweater, and she was thrown out of school. But that wasn’t a bad thing, because a man who owns a theater in Memphis, Tennessee saw those photos and offered Jenny a job singing in a show. The first chance I got, I took the bus up to Memphis to see her perform in that show.
Announcer: Give her a big hand, guys. Good job, Amber. And now for your listening and viewing pleasure, direct from Hollywood, California, our very own beatnik beauty, let’s give a big round of applause to the luscious Bobbie Dylan.
