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I've seen her do a lot of crazy stuff, but this is a whole new level. Is this a people cookie? -You're good.
我看她做过很多疯狂的事儿，但此次的疯狂又上升一个等级。这饼干是给人吃的吗？-吃吧，没事儿。
A definitive "yes" or "no" would be appreciated. Those cupcakes did a number on me.
你只要说"是"或"不是"就行了。上次的蛋糕已经给我留下阴影了。
Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe. -Gloria, sit.
你高兴了吧？你让我自贱到吃鞋子的地步。-歌洛莉亚，坐下。
Do you think this is funny? To talk to me like I am a dog?
你觉得很好玩吗？把我当狗一样地使唤？
I'm not talking to you like you're a dog. I'm just asking you to sit so we can get to the bottom of this. -Okay, fine.
我可没有把你当狗一样使唤。我只是请你坐下。好把问题解决了。-好吧。
Good girl. Come on. You set me up. Gloria, why are you acting so crazy? It's just a little dog.
真乖。拜托。你自己给我机会的。歌洛莉亚，你为何表现的那么疯狂？不就是条狗嘛。
It's not the little dog that is making me crazy. It's you that is making me crazy. -Me?
不是狗把我逼疯了。是你把我逼疯了。-我？
Yeah, you used to put me first. You used to want me in that shower.
没错，你以前把我放在第一位的。以前是我陪你洗澡。
Should I be here for this?
我是不是该"非礼勿听"？
No, Manny. It's okay. I go. But I want you to know this. Where I come from, men cherish woman. It goes wife, mistress, dog. Dog always at the bottom.
不用，曼尼。没关系。我走。但我要告诉你，在我老家，男人都宠着女人。老婆第一，情人第二，狗第三。狗永远排在最后。
As you can imagine, I get asked to help, Uh, with a lot of these environmental causes.
大伙都知道，我经常被邀请去帮忙，解决些环境问题。
Usually, I buy a ticket, uh, bid on Shaquille O'Neal's big shoe...and, uh, come home.
通常，我只是买张票，买双奥尼尔的战靴完事儿，就回家了。
But then, something happened. I love paddle surfing. And each time I'd go out, I'd see this one sea lion.
但后来发生了件事儿。我爱好腹板冲浪。每次出海，我都能碰到一头海狮。
He'd pop his head up. He'd check me out. I got so used to seeing him, I even named him--Snorkels.
它抬起头，看着我玩。我都习以为常了。甚至给它起了个名字，斯诺克斯。
Oh, god, I do not like where this is going.
天呐，我不喜欢故事的发展路线。
So one day, I, uh, I go out and I see Snorkels. But he's doing this weird twisting thing in the water.
有一天，我出海碰到了斯诺克斯。但它在水里奇怪地扭着身体。
Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god.
苍天呐。天呐。天呐。
So I paddle over, and I see he's got a plastic grocery bag, wrapped around his neck and one of his fins.
于是我划过去，发现有个塑料袋将他的脖子和鳍勒在一起。
And I freaked, tried to get it off with my paddle. It didn't work, so I-I jumped in, but he disappeared under the water. And, uh...
我慌了，想方设法用船桨去帮他扯开。但那不管用，于是我跳下水，可惜的是他已经沉入水中。之后......
Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
别说了。求你别说下去了。
And I never saw him again.
之后我就再也没见到他。
This is the saddest thing I've ever...
绝对是我听过的最悲伤的故事......
Mitchell, are you okay?
米奇尔，你没事吧？
Of course I'm not okay. None of this is okay.
怎么可能没事。一切都那么糟糕郁闷。
Okay, well, you need to pull yourself together. 'cause we're at your boss' house.
好吧，你得忍住了。我们正在你老板家呢。
He drowned, Cam! -Is he all right?
他淹死了，小卡！-他没事吧？
Yeah, yeah, I just think he needs a little air.
没事，没事，我觉得他需要点新鲜空气。
You know who else needed air? Snorkels! -Excuse me.
你知道谁还需要新鲜空气吗？斯诺克斯！-抱歉。
Snorkels? ! Where are you, Snorkels? !
斯诺克斯？！你在哪里，斯诺克斯？
Mitchell, get back here! -Oh, Snorkels!
米奇尔，快回来！-噢，斯诺克斯！
Mitchell, what is wrong with you? !
米奇尔，你这是怎么了？
What do you think is wrong with me? I'm starving!
你以为我怎么了？我饿坏了！
Well, if you're starving, then just eat something!
好吧，如果你饿了，就吃些东西吧！
I can't eat something because then you'll get mad at me, and we're at my boss' house!
我不能吃东西，因为你会生我的气，而且我们现在在我老板家！
I'm not gonna get mad at you! I appreciate what you're doing for me! I'm doing it for you.
我不会生你的气！我很感谢你为我做的一切我所做的一切也都是为了你。
Oh, you don't have to do anything for me. I love you just the way you are.
不，你不需要为我减肥。我就喜欢原原本本真实的你。
I love you just the way you are. -I got you! - Okay. Okay. -I got you, babe! - Thank you.
我也喜欢原原本本真实的你。-我抓住你了！-好。好。-我抓住你了，亲爱的！-谢谢。
I got you! -Cam. - I got you! -I can walk. I can walk.
我抓住你了！-小卡。-我抓住你了！-脚能够到地。我自己站起来。
I think Mitchell may just be a work friend.
或许跟米奇尔只能做同事，无法做朋友。
