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Well Thursdays are open house day
这样，周四呢是我们的开放参观日
and on Fridays we do happy hour after work.
周五下班了我们有员工聚会
Do we get paid for that? No!
可以领薪水吗，想得美
It's an opportunity to get to know your co-workers better.
利用这个机会，可以对同事更加了解一些
Mm. Pass.
嗯，没兴趣
That is why I hired you. You are always negotiating.
那就是为啥我雇你啦，你总是得理不饶人
And now we can be a team instead of competitors.
现在我们可以目标一致对外，而不是互相撕逼
Oh like those chipmunks. I am Alvin.
噢，像西游记里那些蜘蛛精似的，姐可是观音菩萨！
Okay.
好吧
Here is the first property I need you to sell.
这是你的第一份活儿，替姐把它卖了
A condo?
公寓
Ashley give me something good. I can sell anything.
阿什利，给我点大项目，我什么都能卖
Well if you want a challenge... the Allen house.
嗯哼，要做大的，艾伦家的房子你试试
The Allen house?
艾伦家的房子
No one ever goes in. No one ever comes out.
从没人敢进去，也没人能出来
Well that makes sense if no one ever goes in.
废话，没人进去怎么有人出来
We've had the Allen house on the market for years
艾伦家的房子好多年了都没卖得出去
and nobody's been able to sell it.
没人能把它卖掉
It has a rodent problem.
小动物把房子都快咬坏了
It's pet-friendly.
适合宠物居住
The roof has a hole. Skylight.
屋顶有个洞需要修补，仰望星空吧
There was a brutal murder there.
还发生过残忍的谋杀案
So statistically another murder is unlikely.
统计学上来说，它比任何房子都安全了
Okay great.
算你狠
Here you go.
是你的了
The address is 44 west 44th street.
地址是，西区44号街44号楼
Aw hell no!
神马，没搞错吧
W-what's wrong?
啥事不对
Well in the Chinese culture the number 4 is bad luck.
在中国文化里，4这个数字可不好
On account it's pronounced si
因为它的发音是si
which sounds like the Chinese word for "Death" Se.
跟中文的“死”发音相似
The garbage man is right.
清洁工说的很对
Promote him to garbage boss.
给他升职吧，清洁部老大如何
Can you please come in here?
拜托你能不能进来
I don't want to be in the same room as that flier.
我可不想跟那张不吉利的传单待在一间屋子里
My mom wasn't trying to be around any bad luck.
我老妈不想跟任何不吉利沾上半点关系
That's why she banned all the number 4s in the house.
所以她禁止家里出现任何“4”
What time is it?
现在几点钟
Quarter to "H."
还差一刻钟就一个小时了
It's just "Forbes" Magazine.
只不过是《福布斯》杂志
It's too close.
发音太接近了
Yay! I'm 3!
耶，我三岁啦
I'm second 3!
我三加一岁啦
Fours aren't so bad. There's four ninja turtles.
四也没那么糟糕啦，忍者神龟就有四个啊
You mean those karate frogs who eat pizza in a sewer?
你说的那些在下水道吃披萨的空手道青蛙
That seems bad.
看起来就很糟糕
Emery don't even try.
埃默里，我劝你根本别试了
Mom is crazy superstitious.
老妈就是超级迷信
You know that Stevie Wonder song "Superstition"?
你听说过史提夫·汪达的歌《迷信》吗
She won't listen to it
她听都不愿意听
because she thinks that's what made him blind.
因为她觉得就是这歌让他失明的
I am not crazy superstitious.
我才不是超级迷信
You know who's crazy superstitious? Grandma.
你们知道谁最迷信吗，奶奶
She won't face north.
她从来不脸朝北
She thinks jade wards off evil spirits.
她相信玉能挡掉邪灵
And have you seen her room?
你们没看见她屋里啥样吗
Hmm.
嗯
You have to be patient with grandma.
你们要对奶奶耐心点
Every generation gets less and less superstitious
下一代总要比上一代少迷信一点点的啦
just like how they get less and less racist.
就像种族歧视也是一点点变少一样
Well me avoiding that number has kept this family protected.
我避讳那个数字才很好地保护了咱们家
Sure but didn't you tell your boss you can sell anything?
当然，但你不是跟你的老板说你啥都能卖吗
Yes but it's not about my ability...
是啊，但这与我的能力无关
Besides the extra money wouldn't hurt.
再说了，钱总是多多益善的
The restaurant's been a little slow lately
餐馆最近有点不景气
so I was thinking about getting a mechanical bull
我在想着弄头大铁牛到餐厅里
to steer in the crowds.
来掌控民心
Did you get it?
你听懂了吗
Yes. It's hilarious.
当然，超级好笑
I don't have to laugh to think it's funny.
它好笑我也不一定要笑啊
Oh okay.
好吧
Who wants the latest 2Pac?
谁想要图派克最新的唱片
Dubbed straight from the radio.
从广播上新鲜录制的哦
5 bucks makes it happen.
只要五刀
I'll give you $3.
三刀如何
Yo is this a farmers market?
哟，你当这是农贸市场吗
Am I selling squash?
我是卖菜的吗
Get outta here haggle-puss!
你还想还价，一边凉快去
Are you selling bootleg cds?
你是在卖盗版碟吗
You know I was.
你知道我在干什么
You didn't lie to me. I like that.
小子你没跟我扯谎，不错
Eddie Huang right?
你是叫埃迪·黄对吧
You're that new teacher with the ponytail.
你是那个扎马尾辫的新老师
Ray. Yeah they... they make me put it back.
我叫雷，关于我的马尾辫，他们叫我扎后面去
And I'm not a teacher. I'm a counselor.
我也不是个老师，我是个顾问
Friendship is my curriculum.
我的项目是“友谊”
Does that mean I'm not gonna get detention?
是不意味着我不用被留堂了
Eddie I'm not about punishment.
埃迪，我不想惩罚你
But I am about you channeling that hustle
但我想让你把卖碟片的小聪明
into something more positive
放到更有意义的地方去
like student council.
比如说，学生自治会
You'll get one free period every day.
你每天都能有自由活动的时间
Really?
真的
And you'll get to show celebrity visitors
你还可以接待到学校来的
around the school.
名人来访者
Like Shaq.
像大鲨鱼
Well I was gonna say McGruff
呃，我想说的是迈克格拉夫（侦探卡通狗）
or the helping hand from hamburger helper
或者汉堡好帮手（食品品牌）的帮手
but if Shaq visits
但如果大鲨鱼来访的话
uh sure.
当然由你接待
Think about it Eddie.
想想吧，艾迪
Look into your third eye.
寻找你的第三只眼
My...
我的
butthole?
屁眼
No! No. No no. No no. No! No! No.
不，不，不，不，不是
Uh... It's like an inner peace thing.
呃，更像是一种内在平静的东西
You know what? It's cool. Just... Forget it.
要不这样，就当我没说过
This is so big.
这里真大
How many bedrooms?
几间卧室来着
Between three and five!
3和5之间的那个数字
Are you going to come inside?
你不进来吗
No. I'm good here! I don't want to crowd you.
不，我在这里就行了，我不想挤着你们
Oh thank you.
哦，多谢
I really appreciate your laid-back attitude.
我真的很喜欢你不紧逼的态度
I have to go yell through the back window.
我得换个方向去后窗喊话
Don't go inside that house.
不准进那个房子
We don't want the bad energy to get on us
我可不想坏东西上身
especially you Eddie.
特别是你，埃迪
Don't forget to check out the spacious walk-in closets!
记得看看宽敞的步入式衣橱
So are you really gonna run for class president?
你真的要竞选班长
Yeah man. Shaq and a free period?
当然了伙计，大鲨鱼和自由时间
Which I've already started calling "Naps 101."
我已经给我的自由时间起名字了“101小睡时间”
Naps 101!
101小睡时间
Like dalmatians but with naps!
跟101斑点狗似的
I think you've got a good shot.
我觉得你很有优势
You got an everyman's husky build
你身体强壮
and a middle class background so people can relate to you.
还有中产阶级背景，同学们能指望你
Man people don't think about that.
拜托，他们才不这么想
All they care about is a cool slogan.
他们只在意谁的口号响亮
And I got a dope one.
我有一个超酷的
Oh God! Naps 101!
噢拜托别是“小睡101”
Oh man you killed me with that Eddie.
拜托，埃迪，你要笑屎我了
I'm starting to think about it. Here I go again!
我已经在设想效果了，哈哈哈哈哈
"This Hoo-wang can make it right"?
王大牛啥事都能办
It's pronounced wong.
是“黄”
And it's a play on "Wrong."
这是对“错”的恶搞啊
All day with this.
一整天都这样
Cool. Chocolate dreidels.
棒，巧克力陀罗棒
Phillip Goldstein for president!
给菲利普·戈德斯坦竞选主席投上一票
Choose the chosen one!
我志在必得
Play a free game of "Street fighter"
来玩免费的街头战士
and vote for Brock.
投票给布洛克
Don't leave your ballot blanka.
不要浪费你的选票
Vote for Trent!
给特伦特投一票
Scottie Pippen?!
斯科蒂·皮蓬
My dad is his accountant.
我爸爸是他的会计
Who wants a free pair of airs?
谁想免费得到一双球鞋
Air Jordans? No man.
飞人乔丹吗，不
I got something even better.
我有更好的
Air Pippens.
飞人皮蓬
Andrew wants those. What?! I do not!
安德鲁想要，什么，我才不想要呢
Mom I don't wanna eat! Eating is lame!
妈妈，我不要吃饭，残废才要吃饭
Sounds like you got a big appetite for fun!
听起来你的胃口都留给游戏了嘛
Finnegan. Which is why here...
芬尼根，这就是为什么
At the Golden Saddle
在金鞍饭店
we just opened up our kids corral!
我们开设了儿童专区
I hate this guy.
我讨厌这个家伙
We have all the latest games
这里有所有的最新游戏
like...
比如说
And...
还有
Oh water squirt.
哦，水枪大战
So bring the whole family down to the Golden Saddle.
所以一家大小都来金鞍饭店吧
'Cause just like the food
因为就像这里的食物一样
the fun is well done.
这里的娱乐项目也一样优秀
God the budget on this thing must've been insane.
天哪，这个项目的预算一定大的吓死人
Louis?
路易斯
I sold it.
我卖出去了
I sold the Allen house!
我把艾伦家的房子卖出去了
Congratulations! I knew you could do it!
恭喜啦，我就知道你行的
Ashley Alexander bought me
阿什利·亚历山大给我
a bottle of champagne to celebrate.
买了一瓶香槟来庆祝
I took it back to the liquor store
我把它卖给了酒铺
bought nine snickers and a crystal Pepsi.
买了九条士力架和一瓶水晶百事
Oh.
哦
I'm seeing you through a Pepsi.
我透过一瓶百事可乐在看你
What a day!
多么神奇的一天啊
I told you there was nothing to worry about.
我跟你说过没什么可担心的
I already got my commission check.
我已经拿到了佣金支票
Great. We can get that mechanical bull asap
太棒了，我们可以立马买下那个大铁牛
and crush the kid corral.
然后重创儿童专区
I'm gonna treat myself to a pedicure done by a white lady.
我要让白人小妞给我修脚，来犒劳我自己
Oh. That's when you know you've made it.
没错，姐就是这么牛
Mm.
嗯
Oh no. Oh my God.
哦，不好，天哪
I know. Taxes right?
我知道的，要交税，是吧
No. Look at this check number.
不，看看支票上的数字
No. No no no no. Don't... don't look at that check number.
不不，不要，不要看上面的数字
Look at all the other numbers.
看看其他的数字
No. Look at the ones after the dollar sign.
不，看那个美元符号后面的数字
The bad luck followed me!
我被厄运缠身了
Louis we can't keep this money.
路易斯，我们不能留着这笔钱
Yes we can. We totally can.
可以，完全可以
No we can't! It's tainted!
不，不能，这笔钱被玷污了
If we keep this something bad is gonna happen to our family.
如果我们留着这笔钱，会有坏事降临在我们头上
Please. We need to get rid of this.
求你了，我们需要摆脱它
Okay.
好吧
If that's what you really believe I'll support you.
如果你真这么相信的话，我支持你
This is for the best.
这样才是最好的
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯
For the best.
最好
Hello. I'd like to cash this check please.
你好，我想要兑现这张支票，谢谢
Oh. Is this your grandson?
喔，这是你的孙子吗
Granddaughter.
是孙女
I'm sorry sir.
先生，对不起
Ma'am.
是女士
Hello. I'd like to cash this check please...
你好，我想兑现这张支票，谢谢
Ma'am?
女士？
Ma'am.
女士
Everyone
大伙儿
meet... Romeo.
认识下，罗密欧
I wish I could. Right girls?
我也希望我能认识他，是吧，妞们
You don't always have to be on Vanessa.
你不必每次都接他茬的，凡妮莎
Check this out.
看这个
Moo.
哞
Uh that's kinda scary.
呃，这有点怪吓人的
Don't be silly.
别傻了
This is how we're gonna compete with Golden Saddle's kid corral.
这就是我们和金鞍饭店竞争的法宝
They may have water squirt but we have 8 seconds of glory.
他们有水枪大战，我们有八秒荣光
I had 8 seconds of glory last night. Right girls?
我昨天就经历了八秒荣光，是吧，妞们
It's the morning Vanessa. Please just stop it.
现在还是早上呢，求你，别说了
Oh. Hey Louis?
噢，嘿，路易斯
Your family's here. What?
你家人来了，什么
We gotta hide Romeo.
我们要把罗密欧藏好
Quick cover him up and don't mention him to Jessica.
快点，把它盖起来，千万别跟杰西卡提起
All right. Um here get that tablecloth.
好吧，把那块桌布拿过来
She doesn't know? But she comes in all the time.
她还不知道吗，但是她总会进来的
What is your long-term plan?
你的长远计划是什么
Well what's your long-term plan Nancy?!
呃，那你的长远计划是什么，南茜
You know I wanna hire a detective
你知道我想雇个私家侦探
to find my real mother!
去找我的亲生母亲的
I...
我
Hey! What are you guys doing here?
嘿，你们怎么来这儿了
Well I have three open houses today
呃，我今天有三座房子要带人看
so I was hoping you could look after the boys this afternoon.
我想今天下午你来照看下孩子们
Absolutely. No problem.
当然，没问题
Thank you for being so understanding
谢谢你理解我
about that commission check.
让我撕了那张支票
Tonight I'm going to make your favorite pork bone stew.
今晚，我就给你做你最爱的排骨
I wish I... Don't.
我希望我，别说出来
Whatever you're about to say I'm sure it's hilarious.
无论你说什么，我都确定会很搞笑
So people didn't like your slogan?
大家都不喜欢你的竞选标语吗
That doesn't mean you still can't win.
那也不意味着你不会赢啊
I'm up against "Street Fighter" And chocolate tops.
我要和，街头战士，还有巧克力，抗争到底
I'll be lucky if I even beat the Scottie Pippen kid.
如果够幸运的话，我还会打败有斯科蒂·皮蓬的那个小屁孩
Evan do you need to go pee?
埃文，你想尿尿吗
No.
不想
Yes but peeing is so boring
好吧，是想，但是尿尿太无聊了
and I don't want to miss anything.
我不想错过任何有趣的事
Nothing's gonna happen.
没啥有趣的事儿
Boomin' onion Mr. President?
主席先生，爆炸洋葱来了
Dad there's no way I'm gonna win.
爸，我不可能会赢的
Well win or lose we're putting it on your college application
不管是输是赢，我们都会把它写在你的大学申请书上的
because you literally have nothing.
因为别的什么你都没有
It's just "Was born likes lunch ran for president."
就只有，出生日期，喜欢午饭，参加过主席竞选
Do you think it'd be gross to dip thiin clam chowder?
你觉得用这个蘸蛤蜊汤会不会很恶心
I'm-a find out.
我是个探索者
Uhh! Moo.
呃，哞
I take a boring pee-pee and I miss everything!
我就上了趟厕所，就什么事都发生了
This is grandma falling out of her wheelchair all over again!
这就像奶奶摔下轮椅的情景重现
What are you complaining about? I'm the one who broke my arm.
你抱怨什么，我才是摔断手的那个
I'm never missing anything again!
我再也不要错过任何事了
Evan see how long you can cover your ears.
埃文，我们来看看你能捂住耳朵多长时间
Okay!
好哒
Hey boys we can't let mom know
嘿，小伙子们，我们不能让妈妈知道
Eddie tripped over the cord of the mechanical bull
埃迪被大铁牛的电线绊倒了
and broke his arm.
还摔断了胳膊
I didn't tell her I bought it
我还没告诉她我买了大铁牛
and if she finds out she'll be very upset.
如果她知道了，会很生气的
But why didn't you tell her?
那你为什么不告诉她
Because she's crazy superstitious.
因为她超级迷信
She's gonna think this is related to the Allen house
她会觉得摔断手和艾伦家的房子有关系
which it's not.
但其实并没有
So... You're telling us to lie.
这么说，你是要我们撒谎咯
Well sometimes a little white lie is okay
呃，有时候为了一个善意的目的
if it's for a greater good.
一个善意的谎言是可以允许的
For example your mom has those jeans
比如说，你妈妈有几条
with the zipper that's 6 inches long.
六英寸长的拉链牛仔裤
Do I tell her it looks like her body's half crotch?
我有告诉她那些裤子有半个她那么长吗
No. I say beautiful blue jeans honey."
不，我跟她说，亲爱的，这些牛仔裤很好看
The truth would be unnecessary and hurtful.
真相总是伤人的
We just passed the corner
我们刚刚路过一个街口
where my friend J.J. Almost got into that guy's van.
我看见我的朋友JJ差点上了那个人的货车
And then he tripped on a rug and fell.
然后他被一块地毯绊倒，摔了一跤
Yeah a little white rug.
嗯，一块白色小地毯
Emery go to your room.
埃默里，回你自己的房间吧
Well you are lucky you only broke your left arm.
只断了一条左胳膊算你幸运
You can still do your homework.
你还能做作业
Imagine what he would have broken
想想如果我们兑换了那张支票
if we had cashed that check.
不知道他会把什么给断了呢
His head! Hmm.
可能是他的脑袋，嗯
I'll go get some white flower oil.
我去拿点白花油
Speed up the healing process.
有助于伤口的愈合
Beautiful blue jeans mom!
牛仔裤真漂亮啊，妈咪
Oh! Nice touch Eddie.
噢，舔得好啊，埃迪
See? A little white lie never hurt anyone.
看见没，说几句善意谎话没什么坏处
So we all ate chocolate dreidels
我们都在吃巧克力陀螺
while Phillip cleared up his stance on Santa.
而菲利普在清理他圣诞老人的站位
He's for him.
他就是主席的料
Hmm.
嗯
Hey what happened to your arm?
嘿，你胳膊怎么了
I tripped on a rug.
我在地毯上摔倒了
Huh.
哈
Anyway so I was so amped up on chocolate
不管怎么说，我当时吃巧克力吃得太尽兴
that I ran through Scottie Pippen's legs
我从斯科蒂·皮蓬的腿下跑过了
like five times.
差不多，五次的样子
I'm definitely voting for Trent.
我绝逼支持特伦特
Yeah
耶
It's just when you throw so many punches
只不过，如果你出了太多拳
it's easy to lose your balance.
就很容易失去平衡
Whoa. Wait. What happened?
哇，等下，发生了什么
Well...
那个嘛
When I came to five high school kids
当我去的时候，五个高中生
were trying to steal our "Street Fighter" Machine.
正要偷走我们的“街头战士”
Then what happened?
然后呢
Well when I came to again
呃，我再去的时候
they were giving our mascot Loggy an Indian burn!
他们正在把我们的吉祥物呆萌进行印度式烧烤
Which is especially bad for a log.
这对一个木头来说相当悲惨啊
Then what happened?
然后呢
When our "Street Fighter" Game
当我们的街头战士游戏机
and Loggy's honor are on the line
和呆萌的荣誉命悬一线的时候
I got no problem taking on 16 kids.
我单挑十六个孩子完全没问题
That's when I pulled out my dad's machete...
所以我拿出了爹地的砍刀
It grazed my arm but I recovered.
不小心擦了一下胳膊，但是很快就恢复了
'Cause I'm Eddie Huang and I'm your street fighter!
因为我是埃迪·黄，我是你们的街头战士
It's just me myself and I
我的范儿，我说了算
It's just me myself and I
我的范儿，我说了算
It's just me myself...
我的范儿，我说了
Hail to the chief y'all.
向你们的头头致敬，大伙儿
Say hello to the new sixth grade president.
向你们最新的六年级主席打个招呼
I'm the Abe Lincoln of Abe Lincoln middle school!
我就是亚伯拉罕·林肯中学的亚伯拉罕·林肯
Oh!
哦
Looks like our good luck continues.
看起来我们好运不断啊
Sure does.
那当然
Can I help you?
有什么要帮忙的么
Mrs. Parker from child services.
我是儿童服务中心的帕克女士
I'm here to investigate possible parental neglect in the home.
我来调查一下父母责任疏忽的问题
Oh you want that kid down the street... Dave.
哦，你要找的应该是街尾那小孩，戴夫
He always has a kool-aid mustache.
他嘴上总是留着饮料胡子
Nobody's wiping his face.
没人帮他擦脸
We're concerned about an injury your son sustained.
我们是来调查您儿子身上的伤
A school employee didn't believe Eddie's story
一位学校员工不相信
about how he broke his arm and it raised a red flag.
埃迪摔断胳膊的说辞，这引起了我们的注意
Sorry I'm late.
不好意思我来晚了
The sun was peeking through the clouds
阳光穿透云层洒落大地
and it was so beautiful I had to stop.
那画面太美我不敢不看
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I still don't understand why child services was called.
我还是不明白为什么儿童服务中心会来访
Before we get into it
在我们开始之前
I just wanna say that this...
我想说，这里
is a safe zone.
是一片安全区域
And that's why I brought...
所以我带来了
the share clam.
分享蛤
If I pass it to you
如果我把它传给你
share how you're feeling.
你就分享你的感觉
We're hearing conflicting reports
我们听到有关埃迪断胳膊
about how Eddie broke his arm.
说辞各不相同
First he said he tripped.
首先，他说他自己摔倒了
Then he got into a fight with a bunch of kids.
然后他和一群小孩儿打起来了
Then he had his dad's machete.
然后他拿了他爸的砍刀
Machete? I don't have a machete.
砍刀，我没有砍刀
That's a jungle weapon.
那是个丛林武器
Eddie why are you making up all these crazy stories?
埃迪，你为什么瞎编这些疯狂的故事呢
Well dad said it was okay to tell a lie if it was for good.
呃，老爸说为了善意的目的是可以撒谎的
It was the only way I could win the election.
这是我赢得选举的唯一途径
I said a little white lie not this.
我是说一点善意的谎言，可不是这种谎言啊
Now tell these nice people the truth
现在，告诉这些善良的人真相
about how you broke your arm.
你胳膊到底是怎么断的
Eddie.
埃迪
You were at Cattleman's and you tripped...
你当时在牧场餐厅，然后你摔倒了
On the cord to the new mechanical bull.
摔到了大铁牛的电线上
No I meant the other truth.
不是，我是说另一个真相
The rug truth. But that's a lie too.
那个地毯真相，但那也是个谎言啊
You're killing me man!
你要毁了我么，孩子
What mechanical bull?
什么大铁牛
Dad didn't want you to know about it.
老爸不想让你知道
Louis!
路易斯
Okay clearly this has been a misunderstanding...
好了，很明显这是个误会
One of five this month Ray.
这是这个月第五次了，雷
Sometimes a kid throws up.
孩子啊，有时候会呕吐
It doesn't mean they're getting poisoned.
但不代表他们被下毒了
Twice though? Two throw-ups? No way.
那么两次呢，呕吐两次怎么说，不可能
Wait a minute.
等会
Where did you get the money to buy a mechanical bull?
你买大铁牛的钱哪儿来的
Who are these people?
这是些什么人
What... on earth...
我，到底
did I miss?
错过了什么
Okay so I grounded Eddie
好了，埃迪被我禁足了
told him it wasn't okay to lie under any circumstances.
我还教育他任何情况下都不能撒谎
Well who's gonna ground you Louis?
那谁来禁足你呢，路易斯
You're the one who told him it was okay to lie.
是你告诉他撒谎是可以的
For a good reason... to help the restaurant
为了好事可以啊，为了帮助餐厅
which helps our family.
帮助我们的家庭
It was crazy to rip up that check
就为了支票上那几个4就把它撕碎了
just because it had 4s on it.
简直就是疯了啊
Oh it was crazy huh?
哦，很疯狂，是嘛
Look at all this bad luck we've had since you cashed that check!
看看自从你兑现了那张支票，厄运就不断
Two woman detectives show up we're fighting
冒出来两个侦探女人，我们俩吵架
Eddie broke his arm!
埃迪的胳膊也断了
Those are just random coincidences.
这些都是随机的巧合啊
His forearm? I don't think so.
他的前臂也是么，我可不这么觉得
Look Jessica
听着，杰西卡
sometimes bad things just happen
有时候坏事情发生
and there's no explanation for it.
是没有原因的
Okay fine.
行，好吧
If you think superstitions are nonsense
如果你觉得迷信都是扯淡
take off your jade necklace.
把你的玉项链摘下来
My necklace?
我的项链么
But I've worn this since I was born.
但是我一出生就戴着了
It's like a birthmark on a chain.
它相当于我串在链子上的胎记啊
And this has nothing to do with superstition.
这和迷信没什么关系啊
Well then it should be no problem to take it off.
那你把它摘下来，应该没什么问题
Okay.
好的
I'll take it off.
摘就摘咯
Just a necklace. Mm-hmm.
不就是个项链么，嗯哼
Not a big deal.
没什么大不了的
Why is that so loud?
为什么会这么吵
It's hot in here. Wait. Now it's cold.
这里好热啊，等等，现在又变冷了
What's happening to me?
我这是怎么了
Why am I so...
我为什么这么
G-g-g-give me my jade!
把，把玉还给我
Give me my jade! Okay. Okay.
把玉还给我，好了，好了
Whew!
呜
Oh!
噢
Okay fine.
行了，好吧
I guess superstition is real if you believe in it.
看来迷信就是，信则有，不信则无
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told Eddie to lie.
我很抱歉，抱歉我教埃迪撒谎
I'll get rid of the bull.
我会把那牛处理掉的
We're gonna have to do a lot more than that.
我们要做的不止这些
We've invited bad luck into our home.
我们已经把厄运请进门了
It's on us. It's on the kids.
它在我们身上，在孩子们身上
I don't know how to fix it.
我不知道该怎么挽救了
I know who does.
我知道谁可以
Mom we need to talk to you.
妈，我们有话要和你说
Huh.
嗯
Uh sorry mom. We just really needed to talk to you.
抱歉，妈，我们只是真的有话要和你说
We have invited bad luck into our home
我们把厄运请进了家门
and we need you to get rid of it.
我们需要你帮我们驱除它
How did you know?
你怎么知道的
Ah.
啊
"Give me my jade!
把玉还给我
Give me my jade!"
把玉还给我
Hey Eddie.
嘿，埃迪
Any fallout from that whole emotional jam session?
那场情感即兴大会有什么效果吗
What? How are you feeling?
什么，你感觉怎么样
Oh. Well my parents grounded me for lying.
噢，我爸妈因为我撒谎把我禁足了
At least I'm still president.
但至少我还是主席大人
And I'm psyched for the free period. Naps 101!
而且我为自由时间要激动不已了，小睡时间101
Yeah about that...
是的，内个
apparently that free period is actually
很显然，自由时间其实是
a "Go to the principal's office and lick envelopes" Period.
“去校长办公室舔信封”时间
What? Budget cuts.
什么，缩减开支
They need the student body to pitch in.
他们需要学生也贡献自己的力量
I thought this job was gonna be all about naps and Shaq.
我还以为这份工作是关于打瞌睡和奥尼尔的
Maybe he'd playfully put me on his shoulders
也许他会淘气地把我举到他肩膀上
or let me stick both of my feet into one of his shoes.
或者让我把两只脚都伸进他的一只鞋子里
I don't know.
我不知道
Yeah I'm sorry man.
真的很抱歉，伙计
I'm new here. Apparently this place sucks.
我是新来的，很显然，这地方逊毙了
I guess it's just our bad luck.
我想这就是我们的厄运
Bad luck.
厄运
So grandma went into the zodiac books
所以奶奶深入研究了黄历
called up some aunties
召集些三姑六婆
and performed a ritual to take away our bad luck.
要举行一场仪式来驱除我们的厄运
Is this gonna work?
这真的有用吗
Shh! Let her concentrate!
嘘，让她集中精神
Wow. These people have some crazy traditions right?
哇哦，这些人的传统习俗也太夸张了吧
Bananas. Oh!
简直就是疯子
Raining salt?
下盐雨
Too bad it's not raining men!
为什么不下帅哥雨
Ugh!
啊
Right girls?
是吧，妞们
Why'd you make us buy all those garfield mugs for the ceremony?
为什么你要我们去买这些加菲猫杯子来做法
You didn't even use them.
你根本都没用上
Well I'm glad we all got through that as a family.
我很高兴我们一家人一起跨过这道坎
And now we can put this chapter behind...
现在就让我们放下过去
You are still grounded.
你依旧被禁足
You hard woman!
你这个狠心的女人
Eddie don't call your mother "Woman."
埃迪，不要用女人来称呼你妈妈
Garfield should have a mug that says "Naps 101."
加菲猫应该要有个“小睡时间101”的杯子
So your company's set up in Delaware
所以你的公司设立在特拉华州
but you live in Florida.
但你住在佛罗里达州
The tax man can't touch you.
税务人员就碰不到你一根手指头
That's great.
那真是太好了
You know I'm always looking for a loophole... breakaway!
你知道吗，我一直在找一个漏洞，突破防守
I did it! I scored on Scottie Pippen.
我做到了，我赢了斯科蒂·皮蓬
I was giving you tax advice bro.
我还在给你纳税建议啊，亲
It's not Shaq's shoe
这不是奥尼尔的鞋子
but I guess it'll do.
不过我想应该也塞得进去
Y'all are a rude-ass family.
你们家真是一群粗人
Scottie? Mr. Pippen!
斯科蒂，皮蓬先生
Mr. Pippen! Mr. Pippen!
皮蓬先生，皮蓬先生
I gotta stop drinking water.
我一定不能再喝水了
