嗨,妈妈
Today, my friend Zack
我的小伙伴儿扎克
tried to drink a large apple juice.
今天挑战了一大杯苹果汁儿
It didn't end well.
结果惨不忍睹
He peed himself.
他尿了自己一身
How close were you? Do we need to burn your shoes?
当时你离他有多近,需不需要烧掉你的鞋
Good.
那就好
Look what I got you.
看看这是什么
My very own Costco membership card!
你给我办了张好市多超市会员卡
Now when we go together on Sundays,
以后我们周日一起去的时候
you can enter six to eight paces ahead of me.
你就可以拿着你的卡,一个人大摇大摆地进去了
Plus, when offers say "Limit one per customer,"
而且,碰上一人一份的限量商品的时候
guess who is two customers now.
猜猜谁和谁能买两份儿呀
Hey, there's my friend Zack.
看,是我的朋友扎克
You and me. The answer was you and me.
你和我,答案是咱俩
Evan, they gave me a bag for my underwear!
埃文,他们给了我个袋子装内裤
Bye.
拜拜
What does that mean... WWJD?
那是什么意思,WWJD
It stands for "What Would Jesus Do?"
意思是,上帝会怎么做
Or maybe it stands for "What Would Jessica Do?"
或者是,杰西卡会怎么做
She would put that in a safe place,
她会把那张卡收好
because a replacement card costs $16.
因为补卡要花十六刀
Oh, and we need more dish soap.
哦,我们还得买点儿洗洁精
Let's get a barrel.
来一桶吧
When it's empty, I saw it in half...
用完了,我就把桶锯成两半儿
Two flower pots.
当俩个花盆用
Ooh!
机智
What a list.
这购物单完美
What a beautiful Costco shopping list.
多么美丽的一张好市多购物单啊
Oh, could you add Frosted Flakes?
能加上香甜玉米片吗
That would be grrrrreat!
那就忒———棒了
It's what the tiger on the box says.
盒子上的那只老虎就是这么说的
How does a tiger know more English than Grandma?
怎么一只老虎的英语都比奶奶好
Well, I think Honey and I are gonna head out.
我和哈妮要出去约会了
Saturday nights are when we remind ourselves
我们每周六晚上都要嘿嘿嘿
that we're not just roommates.
否则岂不是和普通室友没什么两样
Okay, they didn't need to know that, sweetie.
好的亲爱的,他们没必要连这个也知道
Oh, Louis, how much do I owe you?
哦,路易斯,多少钱
Oh, please, put away your wallet.
算了算了,把钱包收起来
It's on me.
这顿我请
You sure?
真的吗
Yes, Louis, you sure?
是啊,路易斯,真的吗
Absolutely. It's the friends discount.
当然是真的,友情价嘛
Oh, thanks, Lou. You know what?
谢了,路,这样吧
Why don't you stop by my dental office for a cleaning
你来我的牙科诊所清洁下牙齿
anytime,
随时都可以
at the "Friends price."
友情服务
I do have a little time on Sunday
我周日有点儿时间
while Jessica and Evan are at Costco...
杰西卡和埃文要去逛好市多超市
Like five to eight hours.
一逛就是五到八个小时
Done. I'll see you then.
就这么定了,到时候见
I think it's lovely you spend Saturday nights
我觉得你把周六晚上的时间
focused on your marriage.
用来经营你的婚姻真是太有爱了
When I have a wife,
等我有了老婆
I'm gonna touch butts with her every day.
我会和她啪啪啪每一天
We, uh...
我们,额
We've been putting off "The talk."
我们一直避免谈这个话题
Hey, Monica.
嗨,莫妮卡
Hey, Sam.
嗨,山姆
Hey, Jason.
嗨,杰森
I feel so calm here,
我在这儿感受到了内心的安宁
just knowing all the bulk deals are waiting.
那么多的批发价商品在等着我
An entire case of mushroom soup for $4.99?
一整盒的蘑菇汤才要四块九毛九
Damn it, Costco, you've done it again.
真讨厌,好市多你又这样子
Ooh, can we get this?
哦,可以买这个吗
It's not unusual
被人爱这件事
To be loved by anyone
没有那么的不寻常
That's silly. What would you even use that for?
好蠢,你要这个干嘛
It's 80% off.
打两折
We'll get two.
那拿两个
Hey, Jessica! Evan!
嗨,杰西卡,埃文
Don't wander far.
别走远了
I'm debuting a spicy-ranch spread.
我在做辛辣农场的饼干试吃
Hi, Marie. How's your cat, Sadie, doing?
嗨,玛丽,你的猫,莎蒂,最近还好吗
19 years old and still bringing me mouse heads,
十九岁了还在抓老鼠,吃剩个老鼠头带回来给我
bless her heart.
上帝保佑她
I like the cool, fiesta flavor. I don't like this,
我喜欢这个嘉年华味儿,不好吃
but it's free, so I will continue to chew.
但鉴于是免费的,我还是吃了吧
Another great Sunday.
又是一个美好的周日
And not too rough on the old pocketbook.
而且买的东西都很便宜
Oh, by the way,
哦,对了
my friend Zack wants to hang out next Sunday.
我朋友扎克说下周日一起出去玩儿
Great, next Sunday's our toilet paper run.
太好了,下周日要来买卫生纸
We could use the extra set of hands
他正好可以来帮忙
to help carry the 144-pack.
提一袋儿一百四十四卷的纸回去
Ooh, birthday cake. Whose birthday is it?
喔,生日蛋糕,谁过生日
Look at the price, Carmine.
看看价格,卡迈恩
At 5 cents a cubic-inch, it's all our birthdays.
一寸蛋糕五分钱,就算不是生日也得过个生日
Oh, you did great.
哦,你保养得很好
No cavities. Very little plaque.
没有龋洞,很少的齿菌斑
That's true.
没错
Tooth plaque is bad,
齿菌斑很不好
and the plaque you hang on the wall is good.
但是墙上挂的匾牌(和齿菌斑同词异意)很棒
I never thought of that.
我都没想到过这个梗
You're all done, buddy.
好了,哥们儿
Mm.
嗯
Gah! What happened?!
嘎,什么情况
I threw a whitener into the fluoride treatment.
我在氟化物治疗里面加了点儿美白剂
The "Friends price."
友情服务哦
You're welcome, pal.
不用客气,老弟
Huh, it's very bright.
很亮
It's just, uh...
只是
very bright.
非常亮
You'll get used to it.
你会习惯的
Your teeth haven't been this clean since you were born.
这是你出生以来牙齿最干净的时刻
They're birth white.
这叫‘胎生白’
Trust me. Everyone's gonna love it.
相信我,大家都会喜欢的
What happened to your teeth?
你的牙怎么了
Marvin snuck tooth whitener in.
马文给我美白了
I should've bought those sunglasses.
我应该买了那幅墨镜的
I didn't ask for this.
又不是我要求的
Now I know how people who wake up in bathtubs
现在我知道那些醒来发现自己躺在浴缸里
without their kidneys feel... Violated.
还没了肾的人的感受了,一种被侵犯的感觉
Clean but violated.
确实干净,但还是感觉被侵犯
Did you get it?
你买麦片了吗
Yes, I got your tiger sugar flakes.
当然,给你买了你的老虎香甜玉米片
They're in the variety pack.
多口味混合包装
Oh, Dad?
爸爸
Yes?
怎么了
Oh, sorry.
不好意思
That's my default way of speaking.
刚才是我系统默认的讲话方式
I meant, "Ohh, Dad."
我是想说,哦,我的爹啊
Yes!
太好了
It's not so bad.
没那么糟糕
Give it a week. I'm sure it'll fade.
过一个星期,它肯定会褪掉的
It's like living with a lighthouse.
我就像是和一座灯塔住在一起一样
I feel like it's gaining strength.
我觉得它愈来愈白了
Mom, could you pick up some more Frosted Flakes today?
妈妈,你今天能再买点儿香甜玉米片吗
Well, you still have the variety pack left.
但你们的多口味包还没吃完
I'm not going to buy new cereal
我不可能去买新的麦片
when there's still perfectly good cereal left.
这还剩下很多很好的麦片啊
But the rooster on the box looks so serious.
但盒子上的公鸡看起来太吓人了
Finish these, then I'll buy more.
吃完这些,我再去买新的
Evan, come on, I want to get there early
埃文,快点,我想早点儿去
for the gas station fistfights!
去加油站撸袖子‘战斗’
You know I love that.
你知道我有多喜欢的啊
Why are you so dressed up?
你穿这么好看要去干嘛
Is a guest author coming today?
今天有什么访客作家要来吗
Is Dean Koontz coming back?
丁·昆士又要来了吗
Sorry, Mommy. I can't go to Costco today.
抱歉,妈妈,我今天不能去好市多超市
Zack and his mom are picking me up.
扎克和他妈妈会来接我
What do you mean? Where are you going?
什么意思,你要去哪儿
To church.
教堂
Church? What do you mean "Church"?
教堂,你去教堂干什么
Zack's always talking about it, and it sounds fun.
扎克总是在说教堂的事情,听起来很有意思
Remember, I told you he wanted to hang out?
你还记得吗,我跟你说过他说要出去玩儿
That's them.
他们来了
Don't sit in the beanbag chairs
别坐变形椅了哦
without someone to pull you out.
今天没人拉你出来了
Church?
教堂
Yeah, that was surprising. But why?
嗯,很令人吃惊,为什么呢
He knows we're mostly lapsed Buddhists
他知道我们算小半个佛教徒
who believe in some Chinese superstition
我们相信中国的迷信
but also like Christmas but in a festive,
同时也喜欢圣诞,但只是当作过个节
not-religious way.
没有任何宗教意义
He's probably just exploring. I went through a similar phase.
他大概只是在探索,我也经历过这个阶段
I was raised Buddhist
我家里都信佛
but wanted to see what else was out there.
但我曾想看看除此之外还有什么
I almost converted to Mormonism.
我差点儿就皈依了摩门教
So, we give up coffee,
也就是说,我们放弃喝咖啡
and in exchange, we get a second wife?
但是作为交换条件,我们可以娶两个老婆
Ultimately, I just love caffeine too much.
结果,我还是太爱喝咖啡了
Church.
教堂
Why would he want to go there
他为什么想去教堂
instead of to Costco with me?
而不是和我去逛好市多
Jessica, don't worry. It's just one Sunday.
杰西卡,别担心,只是一个周日而已
You're right.
你说的对
You're right. It's just one Sunday.
你说的对,就一个周日而已
He's probably gonna be bored.
他可能会觉得教堂很无聊
It's fine. I'll just go to Costco alone.
没关系,我就自己去好市多好了
It's no big deal.
又不是什么大事儿
If you want, I can go with you.
你愿意的话,我可以和你一起去
Oh, uh, it's...
哦,额,那个
It's just that I know people there, and...
我认识那儿的人,然后
You get it?
你懂吗
Each one has a higher fiber content than the last.
每一盒的纤维含量都比上一盒高
Zero sugars?!
零糖分
How does this even qualify as a cereal?
没糖的怎么能叫作合格的麦片
What if we put it in our pockets
我们把它放到口袋里
and slip it down our pant legs,
然后顺着裤管儿滑下去,怎么样
like in "Shawshank Redemption"?
就像《肖申克的救赎》里面那样
Mom will find it.
妈妈会知道的
She always sniffs out wasted food.
她总能发现浪费的粮食
Remember when I didn't eat my pizza crusts?
你还记得上次我没吃掉的披萨边儿吗
She can get real creative.
她的创造力真是超群
That's what we need to do...
这就是我们要做的
Get creative.
发挥创造力
Rice Krispie Treats!
棉花糖米脆款待
If marshmallow and butter can make these taste good,
如果棉花糖和黄油能让这些东西好吃点儿
they'll make all of these taste good.
它们就能让所有的这些麦片变得好吃
So, like a Bad Cereal Treat?
就像是难以下咽的麦片大餐
Like a Bad-Ass Cereal Treat.
是难以小看的麦片大餐
Step aside.
一边去
I'm gonna get my chef on.
本厨师要上线了
I present to you...
各位观众这就是
the B.A.C.T
the B.A.C.T
The Bad-Ass Cereal Treat.
难以小看的麦片款待
Is yours getting any smaller?
你的嚼完了吗
No.
没有
We should just keep chewing.
我们就继续嚼嚼看吧
Nope. It's just me.
并不是,是我
She's just making fun of my teeth again.
她只是在嘲笑我的牙
Each time more hurtfully than the last.
一次比一次伤人
Help! Someone!
帮我一下,有没有人
Assist!
帮把手
Ritz me, Marie. I've had a day.
给我饼干,玛丽,我今天不开心
Where's Evan?
埃文呢
Oh, no. You didn't lose him, did you?
哦不是吧,你不会把他弄丢了吧
No. I didn't lose Evan.
我当然没把埃文弄丢
Although I might have.
不过我可能要失去他了
I just might have.
只是可能
What? Sorry. I got distracted.
什么,抱歉,我刚才分神了
Bailey's wearing a tight smock again.
贝利又穿紧身衣了
Hello, Evan!
嗨,埃文
I forgot you were out.
我都忘了你出门了
That's right. You had, uh, church.
对了,你去了,额,教堂
How was it? Boring?
怎么样,无聊吗
How boring was it?
有多无聊
It wasn't boring at all.
一点儿也不无聊
Everyone knows everyone.
那里的人都很友好
There's crackers and grape juice.
他们那儿有饼干还有葡萄汁
They talk about values, and they tell stories.
他们探讨价值观,还会讲故事
Like, once, there was this flood,
比如说,又一次,发了大洪水
so this man Noah decided to build a boat
于是有个叫诺亚的人打算造一艘船
for all the animals.
拯救所有的动物
He built a boat by himself?
他自己造了一艘船
Yeah, and he was 600 years old!
对啊,而且他都六百岁了
What?
啥
And then he got two of every animal on Earth
然后在地球上的动物中,每一种选两只留下
and sailed around for 40 days.
航行了大约四十天
Even snakes?
也包括蛇吗
Yeah, he saved every animal.
对啊,他救了每一种动物
You're telling me a man
你是说有个人
had the chance to let all the snakes drown,
有机会让所有的蛇都淹死
and instead, he put two of them on a boat?
却选择挑了两条放在船上吗
No, that's not real.
不,那都是瞎扯
Next Sunday, you should come with me.
下周日,你应该和我一起去
You can hear about it yourself.
你可以亲自听一听
Wait. You're going back next Sunday?
等会儿,你下周日还要去
But Costco just got the big bags of rice in stock.
可好市多刚开始甩卖大包的米啊
We could put one on the bathroom scale
咱们可以放一包在浴室的秤上
and see if you weigh more than it yet.
看你有没有比它重
That does sound fun,
听起来不错
but I think I'd rather go to church.
可我还是想去教堂
Next week, there's a guitarist coming.
下周有个吉他手要来表演
Oh, Louis, my friend, come over here
路易斯,朋友,来这儿
and meet the old boys from dental school.
见见我牙医学院的老朋友
Hello. Nice to meet you.
你们好,很高兴见到你们
Oh, buddy. These burgers are so good.
噢,伙计,这汉堡太赞了
Great. Juicy.
很棒,美味多汁
Perfect temp. Eh.
火候很适宜
Ah, don't mind Ted.
不要介意泰德
You know how every ad says
你知道每个广告都这样说
four out of five dentists recommend a product?
五个医生里有四个要向你推销产品
He's that fifth guy.
他就是那第五个
He can just never get on board.
他永远也上不了道
What can I say? I'm hard to please.
要我怎么说,我很难取悦的
I gave Louis the cleaning of his life last week
我上星期以亲友价给路易斯
at the "Friends price."
洗了次牙
Go ahead. Reveal that ivory curtain.
来吧,给我们看看你那能亮瞎24K钛合金狗眼的牙齿
Um... actually, I need to work the floor, so...
呃,实际上,我得打扫一下地板,所以...
Come on, now. Don't be shy.
来吧,来吧,别害羞
You look like a million bucks.
你人见人爱啊
No, I'm good. Come on.
不了吧,来吧
Smile. Smile.
笑一个,笑一个吧
I don't want to smile.
我不想笑啊
Smile!
快特么的笑啊
No!
不要
I never wanted this!
我从没想要过这个
You can't just change the color of a man's teeth without asking.
你不能连问都不问就改变一个人牙齿的颜色
Hey, I did you a favor, as a friend.
嘿,我可当你是朋友才帮你做的
I liked my old teeth hue.
我喜欢我牙齿原来的颜色
I gave you 250 bucks of free work,
我给了你两百五十块的免单
and I made you easier on the eyes.
让你在大家眼里更有魅力
I took you from a seven to an eight...
我把你从七分,提到了八分
An eight and a half.
甚至八点五分
I was never a seven!
我从来都不是七分
It's getting harder.
它变得更硬了
And I think, somehow, bigger.
而且我觉得更大了
It's Saturday night.
已经周六晚上了
If we don't finish by tomorrow morning,
如果我们明天早上之前吃不完的话
we won't get our Frosted Flakes.
我们就拿不到冻麦片了
Like Tupac... R.I.P... said,
就像图帕克说的那样
"No matter how hard it gets,
不管有多困难
stick your chest out, keep your head up,
你都要抬头挺胸
and handle it."
然后消灭困难
Are they getting any closer to catching his killer?
他们抓捕杀手有进展了吗
No. They have no leads.
没有,他们一点线索都没有
Cops are chasing their own tails!
这些警察简直是在瞎忙活
Don't look at me while I do this.
别在我这么做的时候盯着我
Do you know what Evan is doing alone in his room?
你知道埃文一个人在房间里做什么吗
Already? He's only 9.
他才九岁,就开始内啥了吗
He's praying.
他在祈祷
Oh, yes, that's, uh... what I thought, too.
噢,对对对,那正是我所想的
What is he saying?
他说什么了
What conversation does he need to be having with God
他究竟要和上帝谈什么
that he can't have with his own mother?
却不愿意跟他妈妈分享
If you're so curious,
如果你这么感兴趣
maybe you should go to church with him.
你应该跟埃文一起去教堂
You know my family wasn't religious.
你知道我家可不信教啊
I just didn't grow up that way.
我从小到大都没接触过宗教
It all just seems so strange.
这对我来说太陌生了
The only thing I know about Christianity
我对基督教的唯一了解
is the sad story of Mary's son leaving her.
就是玛丽的孩子离开她的悲伤故事
There's more to it than that.
绝不仅仅如此
I do believe there's something bigger out there.
我相信基督教肯定有更多的涵义
And there are upsides to organized religion.
而且信教是有不少好处的
I biked around for a summer with the Mormons,
我曾经一个夏天都在跟摩门教徒们骑车
and you should've seen my calves.
你真该看看我那时候的小腿
I mean, like pow, pow!
粗的跟大脑袋似的
He's just a boy.
他只是个孩子
He doesn't need pow-pow calves.
他不需要有多粗的腿
But he does need to find his own way,
但他确实需要摸索自己的道路
and you have to let him see where this leads.
你应该让他试试看能走到哪里
What if I can't?
要是我做不到呢
You have to.
你必须做到
Evan.
埃文
God?
是上帝吗
Yes, Evan. It's me... God.
是的,埃文,我是上帝
I have a special message for you.
我想对你讲一句特别的话
Don't go to church anymore.
别再去教堂了
What?!
什么
There's too many people already. It's just too much.
教堂里太多人了已经,太多了
Go to Costco with Mommy instead.
跟妈妈一起去好市多购物吧
Mommy!
妈妈
I was just getting some applesauce.
我只是在拿苹果沙拉
Jessica!
杰西卡
I'm disappointed in your betrayal.
我对你的行为很失望
But I forgive you.
但是我原谅你
That's what Jesus would do.
这正是上帝会做的
And, please, wipe off the microphone
还有,麻烦用完的时候
when you're finished with it.
擦一下扩音器
It's for both of us.
我们俩个都要用
I'm going to church, brothers.
哥哥们,我要去教堂了
By the way, if you hear the voice of God,
对了,你们如果听到上帝的声音的话
it's just Mom.
那只是妈妈而已
Evan, take this loaf with you!
埃文,带上这块面包
Maybe the homeless will want it!
或许流浪汉想要它
I'm washing down bites like pills.
我现在就像是在吞药一样
You faked being God?
你假装成上帝
I mean, I know I say I'm a god on the dance floor,
我知道我曾自誉为舞神
but never in front of the children.
但从没在孩子面前这样
I didn't know what else to do!
我不知道该怎么办了
I thought if I could just get him back to Costco...
我想如果我能再让埃文跟我一起去购物的话
Aah!
啊
I fink I chipped my toof.
我吼想我把牙给咬醉了
I'm sorry. I just can't recommend it.
抱歉,我真的没法推荐它
Oh, come on, Ted.
得了吧,泰德
Louis.
路易斯
Well, do you have an appointment?
你有预约吗
Uh... look, I know things were awkward the other night.
我知道前天晚上有点尴尬
Eddie! Kiddo, what happened?
埃迪,孩砸,怎么啦
B.A.C.T
B.A.C.T.
Oh, is that an acronym for a Rice Krispie-style treat
噢,那是脆米花的缩写吗
you tried to make out of the duds
你是把各种包装的麦片
of a variety pack?
给团成一大块垃圾食品了吗
I'm a dentist. I've seen everything.
我是牙医,什么我没见过啊
Well, hop up in the chair, and let's bib you up.
坐到椅子上来吧,我来给你补补牙
I'll take a gold cap like Big Daddy Kane, if you got it.
如果可以的话,我想要个像凯恩大大那样的金牙
No. Just a normal cap.
不行,只能普通的牙
I'm sorry I blew up at the restaurant.
我很抱歉在餐厅里大发雷霆
No, I'm sorry.
不,是我的不对
It was presumptuous of me to assume
我自以为是的认为
that you wanted to look so damn fantastic.
你想看起来非常独特
You were never a seven.
你从来就不只七分
You were always a nine.
你一直都是九分
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
Just so we're clear,
不过咱们得说清楚
I'm going to pay full price for Eddie's dental work.
埃迪的补牙费我会付全款的
I think it's better that way, for our friendship.
我觉得那样的话对于我们的友谊更好
Agreed.
同意
And I'll pay full price at your restaurant.
我也会在你餐厅吃饭的时候付全款的
Well, I'm glad we worked this out.
好吧,我很高兴我们解决了这个问题
Yeah.
是啊
Oh, and don't worry.
别担心
That whitening agent that I use
我给你用的增白剂
only lasts four to six weeks.
只会持续四到六周
Which is why I cannot recommend it.
所以我不能推荐它
We get it, Ted!
知道了,泰德
Okay?
可以了吗
We get it!
我们知道啦
Hey, Jessica. Special today...
嗨,杰西卡,今日特品
Ritz-os.
美味的小饼干
Who needs tortilla chips to make nachos?
谁还会用玉米粉去做玉米片呢
Oh, no. I can make it less spicy.
噢,糟糕,我该做的不辣点的
Can I talk to you about something?
我能跟你讲点事情吗
Oh, sure.
当然啦
I just need to make some more samples,
我需要再做点样品
so how about I get the crackers,
要不我去拿薄脆饼
you get the salsa.
你去拿调味汁儿
We'll chat in the aisle.
我们在过道上聊天
So, how can I help?
所以你有啥事呢
You were right.
你是对的
I have lost Evan...
我已经失去埃文了
to church.
他去教堂了
We used to spend every Sunday together,
我们以前每周日都一起
and now he goes there instead of here with me.
可现在他不陪我来逛超市而是去了教堂
Oh, I see.
我明白了
And why does this upset you so?
但为什么这会让你难过呢
I don't know.
我也说不清楚
I'm afraid I'm losing my baby to something I don't understand.
我担心我要失去我的孩子了,而我却对他感兴趣的东西一无所知
Well, you know, the first rule of sampling is,
你知道的,做试吃品的第一条规则就是
always ask the customer what it is
问顾客他们喜欢
they like about the sample.
试吃品的哪些方面
Shouldn't the first rule be hygiene?
第一条规则不是卫生吗
Have you asked Evan what he likes about church?
你有问过埃文为什么喜欢教堂吗
Yes, he says it's fun, everybody knows everybody,
有的,他说在哪儿很开心,大家都认识彼此
they talk about values, and they have good snacks.
他们谈论着价值观,而且他们有很好吃的零食
Sounds like a place we both know and love.
听起来像是一个我们都知道而且热爱的地方啊
What place?
哪儿
Look around you.
看看你周围
The community.
这个群体
The values.
这份观念
The sense of calm I get just walking in the door.
这种我一进来就能感觉到的平静
Church is Evan's Costco!
教堂是埃文的好市多
Excuse me, sir.
抱歉,先生
Are you Greg?
您是格雷格先生吧
Your wife sent me.
您的妻子让我捎个信儿
You're supposed to be getting chicken nuggets and milk.
您该去买鸡块和牛奶了
Mommy!
麻麻
This is your bulk deals,
这是你的大生意
and if that's what you want, you can have it.
如果这正是你想要的话,那你就去做把
I mean, I wish that bulk deals were your bulk deals,
我想说,我希望这正如你所愿
but whatever.
管他的
You're young. You have time.
你很年轻,你有的是时间
Eternity.
一大把
Sure.
当然了
For now, the only thing that matters to me
现在,我唯一在乎的是
is that we get to spend Sundays together.
我们应该一起度过周末
So, you'll come to church with me?
所以,你会陪我一起来教堂吗
I will come to outside church with you,
我会陪你走到门口
and then you can go in.
然后你进去开心的玩
I'm good out here.
我就在外面
But I'll wait for you.
但我会等你的
And then you can tell me all about it.
然后你可以告诉我里面发生的一切
Today, we learned about this man Jonah
今天我们了解了乔那这个人
who lived in the belly of a whale for three whole days.
他在一个鲸鱼的肚子里呆了三天
Impossible.
不可能
What was that? Nothing. Go on.
什么,没啥,继续说
Oh, and get this.
噢,听着
They have something called Sunday School here.
他们这儿有周日学校
It's school on Sundays!
在周日上学
No kidding?!
真的吗
Evan, you ready for me to drive you to church?
埃文,你准备好让我载你去教堂了吗
I thought I'd come to Costco today.
今天我想跟你去购物呢
They just got in the off-model Kenneth Cole kids' blazers.
他们刚刚上架凯尼斯·科尔牌的儿童运动衣
Is that okay?
可以吗
Oh, y-yeah. Of course it is.
噢,当然可以啦
Great, and I can go to church next Sunday.
太棒了,我可以下周日再去教堂
We'll see.
好的
Eddie, I'll pick you up some porridge
埃迪,我会给你带点粥
since you could only eat soft food.
考虑到你只能吃软食
Does that mean I don't have to finish this?
是不是说我不用吃完这个了
Of course you don't.
当然不用了
And I don't expect Emery to have to finish it by himself.
我也不希望埃默里一个人吃完
I'll boil it and make a stock.
我把它熬成汤
Okay.
好了
Let's go get you that blazer.
我们一起去挑运动衣吧
My right arm is slightly longer than my left.
我的右臂比左臂有点儿长
It's like God made my body for factory mistakes.
好像上帝造我的过程中发生了点机械故障
Or maybe I've just always held your right hand
也可能是我一直拉着你的右手
with just enough tension to stretch it.
张力太大把它给拉长了
God's got nothing on Mommy.
上帝可赢不了妈妈
Okay. You're up.
好了,到你了
I weigh more than the rice. I'm growing!
我比这袋大米重,我长大了
You think you're ready for the keg of mayonnaise yet?
你觉得你现在能扛起一桶蛋黄酱了吗
Someday, but not today.
总有一天的,但不是今天
Okay, now let's try it with this carpet steamer.
好吧,现在来试试这个吸尘器
If I weigh less, we get Pop-Tarts.
如果我更轻的话,我们就去馅饼
If I weigh more, we never speak of it again.
如果我更重的话,这事就绝不再提