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Can you believe it's been five years since our first date?
你能相信我们已经交往五年了吗？
I know. Do you think I should start watching The Flash TV show?
是啊。你觉得我该开始看电视剧《闪电侠》了吗？
That's what you're thinking about? Well, one of the things. Are any of them me?
你脑子里就在想这个啊？这只是其中一件。有跟我有关的事吗？
Yes. I thought, "I can't decide if I should watch The Flash TV show. I know, I'll ask Amy." Anyway...
有啊。我在想："不知道该不该开始看《闪电侠》电视剧。对了，我可以问问艾米。"无所谓了，继续吧...
What are you doing? You're right, you did kind of kill the mood.
你在干嘛？也是，气氛都被你毁了。
I didn't kill anything. You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
才不是我呢。是你，在那边说你的白痴电视剧。
Excuse me. Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly.
你说什么。跳坑看一部可能播好几年的电视剧不是随便就能决定的好吗。
I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
我在纠结要不要许下这一重大承诺呢。
Really? That's the commitment issue you're wrestling with?
真的吗？你纠结的承诺问题就是这种事吗？
Sheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed,
谢尔顿，你能理解这有多讽刺吗？你能对一个拥有超高速的男人这么痴迷，
while after five years all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
而我在跟了你五年后却只能得到在沙发上的一场你心不在焉的亲热？
Irony's not really my strong suit. But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
讽刺不是我的强项。不过我对挖苦的理解有不小进步，你可以试试看啊。
Oh, sure, I'd love to. Whenever you're ready.
行啊，我"当然愿意"啦。你准备好了就出招吧。
I don't want to rush you, but I'm closing a little early tonight. Ooh. Hot date?
我不想催你们，但我今晚要提早关门。有约会吗？
Uh, no. I overheard Bernadette tell Howard she was making him a meat loaf, and you don't have to not ask me twice.
没，我听到伯纳黛特跟霍华德说要给他做肉卷，我不想麻烦人家"不邀请我"两次。
If I stick a lightbulb on this, wouldn't it make a great lamp for my bedroom?
如果我在上面加个灯泡，是不是超适合当我卧室的台灯？
You're kidding, right? Oh. Is this freaking you out?
你是在开玩笑的，对吧？这吓到你了吗？
I guess I'm just more of a Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel kind of guy. Maybe Pier 1 if I really want to cut loose.
没，我只是比较喜欢那些连锁家具用品店的产品而已。或许我也会选进口手工家具店奢侈一把。
All right. Never mind. No, no, no. Hey, you should totally get it. In fact, I'll buy it for you. Sold!
好吧，那算了。别别别。你想买就买吧。来，我给你买吧。成交！
Raj, you don't have to do that. Too late! No returns!
拉杰，你不需要这样。晚了！一经售出，概不退还！
That was really intense. Well, now we know, next time we go to the farmers' market, the order is petting zoo first, then buy vegetables.
刚才真是生死一瞬间啊。现在我们知道了，下次去农贸市场应该是先去亲近动物区，再去买蔬菜。
Hey. Oh, good. You're here. I need your assistance.
好啊。太好了，你回来了。我有事要你帮忙。
Can it wait until I put a BandAid on a goat bite?
我能先给被羊咬伤的地方贴上创口贴吗？
What happened? Your buddy got mugged by some baby farm animals.
怎么回事？你兄弟被家畜幼崽给打劫啦。
Been there. So what do you need help with?
我也试过。你有什么事需要帮忙呀？
Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
艾米在生我气，我搞不懂是为什么。
Okay. Were you talking before she got upset? Yes. That's probably it.
好吧，她生气前你是不是在说话？是啊。这就是原因啦。
What'd you say to her? Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series.
你跟她说什么了？我就问她我该不该开始看新电视剧《闪电侠》。
And that made her angry?
这把她惹生气了吗？
Baffling, right? We were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers.
很莫名其妙，对吧？本来我们还像在学校看台下的小流氓们一样亲亲我我。
I stopped so I could ask the question. Next thing I know, good-bye, kissy face. Hello, yelly face.
然后我停下来问了她这问题。接下来，亲亲脸没了，凶凶脸来了。
Well, Sheldon, when you're kissing a girl, she expects the attention to be on her.
谢尔顿，你在亲女生的时候，她会希望你的注意力在她身上。
It was. I asked her if she thought I should watch The Flash.
有啊。我有问她"她"觉得我该不该看《闪电侠》。
Yeah. I'm tapping out. Leonard?
要求换人。莱纳德你上？
I'm gonna guess that your main concern is the time commitment of watching an entire season of a new show.
我猜你主要的疑虑是对于看一整季新剧需要做出的时间承诺。
Oh, no, not just a season. If I'm in, I'm in for the whole run, even if the quality declines.
不，不只是一季。要看，就得看到底，哪怕剧质量越来越差。
I get it. Smallville almost wrecked you.
我懂。《超人前传》把你伤得太深了。
Exactly. You know, I waited ten years to see a guy everyone knows can fly, fly.
没错。我等了整整十年，才看到一个大家都知道会飞的人飞起来。
Wait, what is wrong with you two? He was talking about television during their date night.
等等，你们俩怎么回事啊？重点是他在约会之夜聊电视剧。
Oh, not just date night-- our fifth anniversary.
可不只是约会之夜，是五周年纪念日哦。
Okay, see, that's even dumber than you wondering if being bitten by a goat would give you the powers of a goat.
你看，这句话就比你在想被羊咬会不会得到羊的力量还要蠢。
If that happens, don't make me wait ten years to watch you eat a tin can.
如果成真了，拜托别让我等了十年才让我看到你吃掉锡罐。
You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
你们有发现艾米丽有一点黑暗扭曲吗？
You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
你是指因为她有怪怪的刺青吗？
No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard. One more time?
不，是因为她想跟我在墓地里做爱。再说一次？
She and I were supposed to watch the new Avengers movie tonight, but it was sold out.
她本来今晚要跟我去看新《复仇者联盟》电影，但票卖完了。
So I said, "What else do you want to do?" She said, "Let's go to a cemetery and do it on somebody's grave."
我就说"那我们应该干嘛？"她说"我们就去墓场，在别人的坟上打一炮吧。"
Like, a random person or somebody she knew? What difference does it make?
是陌生人，还是认识的人的坟头上啊？这有差别吗？
Well, if it's her father's grave and they didn't get along, then you know she holds a grudge.
如果是在她爸的坟上搞，而他们以前关系不好，那你就知道她一直心怀怨恨。
The only issue is that everybody has their own thing. And as long as it's two consenting adults, I guess I don't see the harm in it.
唯一的问题是每个人都有自己的性怪癖。但只要两个成年人都同意这么做，我不觉得有什么危害呀。
Well, what if it's one consenting adult and one adult who pretends to consent because he's afraid of being alone?
万一只是一个成年人同意，而另一个成年人是假装同意，因为他太害怕当单身狗了怎么办？
Well, then I guess bring a blanket. The grass gets damp at night.
那我建议最好带上一张毯子。夜里的草地很潮湿。
I don't know, guys. Maybe this relationship isn't for me. Maybe I should break up with her.
我不知道了。或许这段恋情并不适合我。或许我该跟她分手。
Right. You're gonna break up with a girl who has sex with you. Can you believe this guy?
是啊，你要跟一个愿意跟你上床的女人分手。你听听这家伙说啥蠢话？
I think if Raj wants to break up with a girl, he can do it.
如果拉杰想跟女人分手，我相信他必能做到。
How are you saying that with a straight face? I don't know. You guys are being jerks.
你怎么做到一脸正经地鬼扯呢？我也不知道。你们俩真过分。
Buddy, other than Jenny Craig, you've never broken up with a girl in your life.
伙计，除了珍妮·克莱格减肥法，你这辈子从未甩过一个女人。
You're one to talk. You've been complaining about Stuart living here for the past year. I don't see you showing him the door.
你还好意思说我。你不也一直在抱怨斯尔图特在你家住了一年死活不走吗。我看你也没有赶他走的意思啊。
That's not the same thing. Emily's a person. Stuart's more like an infestation, something you spray for.
那不一样。艾米丽是一个人，斯尔图特更像一只害虫。就是欠杀虫剂喷的那种。
Baloney, okay? You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
瞎说，你们俩跟我一样，都怕伤害到别人的感情。
That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.
才不是呢。我们俩刚可是当面笑话你。
Thanks for cooking. My pleasure. That carrot was delicious. Yeah.
谢谢你下厨做饭。乐意之至。胡萝卜真好吃。是啊。
I wish I'd fought harder for the rest of 'em. Still haven't heard from her?
真希望我之前再努力点，把其他部分也做得好吃点。艾米还没理你吗？
No, and I'm confused. It's been nearly 24 hours. Amy should have figured out she's wrong by now.
没呢，我不明白。这都将近24小时了，她现在应该意识到自己错了呀。
Hey, I don't think she's wrong about you going too slow in the relationship.
她觉得你们俩发展太慢，这件事情我不觉得她有错。
Too slow? Yeah, you've been going out for years. You haven't even slept together.
太慢吗？是啊，你们俩都约会好几年了，至今还没上过床呢。
That's right. It's called foreplay. And I could make the case that you two aren't moving forward in your relationship.
没错。那叫前戏懂不懂。而且我可以证明你们俩的发展现在也停滞不前。
Uh, hello. Hello. No. Sheldon, we're getting married.
请看。看什么。谢尔顿，我们可是要结婚了啊。
But you've been engaged for over a year now, and you don't even have a wedding date.
可你们俩订婚都一年多了，至今仍未定下婚期。
Well, we will. We're just not in a rush. Okay. We're gonna set a date. Okay. If you say so.
会定的。我们并不着急。好吧。我们会定下婚期。好吧。随你怎么说。
Yeah, it's just, things are good right now. Really good. I'm focusing on my job.
是啊，现在我们感情很稳定。非常稳定。我忙于我的工作。
And we've been busy with our paper. So busy. Yeah, we'll pick a date when we pick a date. Yeah.
我们也一直在忙我们的论文。忙死了。是啊，我们想定就会定。是啊。
Okay. You know, I can see why Amy's mad at you. Yeah, shut up, Sheldon!
好吧。我完全明白为什么艾米会生气了。就是，把嘴闭上，谢尔顿！
Did you eat all my yogurt?
是你把我的酸奶吃了吗？
You mean the one that makes ladies do the thing that ladies pretend they don't do even though they do?
你是指能让女人喝了却假装没喝的那种“酸奶”吗？
You know...which yogurt I mean. I didn't touch it. Must have been Stuart.
你知道我说的是哪个酸奶。我没有碰过，肯定是斯尔图特吃的。
Maybe Raj is right. Maybe it's time we tell him he needs to move out.
或许拉杰说得对。或许是时候我们让他搬走了。
We should have done it months ago.
我们几个月前就该这么做了。
I know, but his store was reopening, and then there were the holidays, and then he was sick.
我知道，但碍于他的店重新开张，然后又各种过节，再然后他又生病了。
Yeah, right. Sick. He didn't have jaundice. He just looks like that.
是啊。生病，他根本没有黄疸。他脸本来就蜡黄蜡黄的。
All right. Tonight's the night. Agreed. When he gets home, I'm drop the hammer.
行了，就今晚说吧。同意。等他一回家，我就单刀直入。
Ooh, I like when you take charge. Oh, I'm not taking charge-- you're the hammer.
我喜欢你当家做主的样子。我不是要当家做主。你是刀，我负责拔刀而已。
So...why haven't we picked a date?
话说...我们为什么没定下婚期？
You know why. Well, of course I know why. But just for fun...why?
你知道原因啊。我当然知道啦。但只是好玩问问 ...为什么呀？
Not in a rush, busy with work... Things are good right now. Really good.
不着急啊，忙于工作啊...现在感情很稳定啊。非常稳定。
You still want to get married, right?
你还是想跟我结婚的，对吧？
Oh, my God. Yes. Why would you even ask that?
天啊，当然啦。你干嘛问这种蠢问题？
I don't know. Because we don't have a date? Well, you want a date, pick a date.
不知道。或许因为我们没定婚期？那你想定婚期你定啊。
It's not just the date. We haven't talked about anything. Big wedding, small wedding, indoor, outdoor...
不光光是婚期。我们从来没谈过婚礼的事。婚礼你想要大型还是小型，室内还是户外...
Outdoor? Oh. I can RSVP no right now.
户外婚礼？不是吧。我现在就可以明确说我不去了。
Okay, indoor it is. Big or small? Is your dad paying for it?
行，那就室内。你喜欢大型还是小型？你爸会掏钱吗？
I doubt it. Okay, two friends each. All right, well, I want it in a church.
深表怀疑。好吧，那各邀请两位好友。行，我想在教堂办婚礼。
Fine. I want black-tie. Fine. I want to release butterflies. Seriously? Airborne worms?
行，宾客都要穿半正式礼服。行，我要在婚礼上放蝴蝶。你不是吧？放飞行虫子吗？
Okay. Well, then it's settled: small indoor church wedding, black-tie, no butterflies.
好了，这下都定了：小型室内教堂婚礼，半正式礼服，不放蝴蝶。
Sounds perfect. Great. You still didn't pick a date. Stay out of it! Shut up!
听起来完美。太好了。婚期还没定呢。少管闲事！把嘴闭上！
