Presents 送礼

Foreigner: There is something I can never puzzle out! The other day a Chinese friend who has helped me a lot was celebrating his birthday and I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? “No, no, no! Don’t give me anything. Don’t be polite!” Can you believe it?

外国人：有一件事我始终弄不明白！有个中国朋友帮了我很大的忙。有一天，他过生日。我问他喜欢什么生日礼物。你知道他说什么？“别，别，别，什么也别给。不要客气！”你相信这事儿吗？

Chinese:(Laughs) Actually, I can well believe it. It’s a slight misunderstanding because of difference in culture, and also because of faulty language. What he said was a word for word translation from Chinese, but even if he had phrased his idea more idiomatically, you still would have misunderstood him.

中国人：（大笑）其实，我完全相信。这是因为文化不同，加上语言上的毛病而引起的小小误会。他是从中文逐字译成英文的。不过即使他的英语表达得更地道，你还是会误解他的。

Foreigner: What did he mean by refusing a present from me then?

外：那他拒绝接受我的礼物究竟表明什么呢？

Chinese: I don’t think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being “polite”, just as you would say “That’s very kind of you.” He didn’t mean to be rude and certainly he didn’t mean to offend you.

中：我觉得他并不是真的拒绝接受你的礼物。那不过是他表示“客气”的一种方式，就像你们常说的“你太好了”。他决无恶意，当然无意冒犯你。

Foreigner: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

外：那你看怎么办？这种情况我该做什么，该说什么呢？

Chinese: You just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. By the way, do you always ask people what they would like for presents in the west?

中：你必须一再坚持。如果你的朋友是位老先生，你没准还得多次坚持。即便如此，我仍然怀疑他会给你一个直截了当的答复。顺便问一下，在西方，你们总是问别人喜欢要什么礼物吗？

Foreigner: As a matter of fact, we don’t usually. We might among very intimate friends, and also we sometimes ask children what they would like. Otherwise we just go by the standard items, such as ties or tie-pins for men, pipes or lighters for smokers, household articles for housewives and toys for children. And if we are invited to dinner, we usually take a bottle of table wine with us or some flowers for the hostess.

外：其实我们一般也不，只是在非常好的朋友之间才这样。另外，有的时候问问孩子他们想要什么。一般情况下，我们也就是送些常规礼物，像给男的买领带、领带夹；给抽烟的买烟斗、打火机；给家庭妇女买些家务用具；给孩子们买些玩具之类的东西。如果有人请吃饭，那就带瓶酒或者给女主人带些花。

Chinese: We also have our standard items. Chinese tonics such as ginseng or swallow nest are most suitable gifts for elderly people. Chinese spirits and Chinese tea-leaves can also be regarded as standard items, and now with modern people instant coffee is taking the place of Chinese tea. For birthdays and weddings, cash wrapped in red paper is the standard gift.

中：我们也有常规礼物。像人参、燕窝之类的中国滋补品对老人最合适。中国的酒和茶叶也可以看成是常规礼品。现在，对于一些时髦的人来说，速溶咖啡正在取代茶叶的位置。生日或者结婚时送现金红包也是常规礼品。

Foreigner: We don’t give cash as presents, but book tokens are sometimes given.

外：我们不用现金作礼品，但有的时候会送购书券。

Chinese: Ready cash as a form of gift has its advantages. For the donor, it saves you from racking your brains thinking of something suitable, and especially for the newly-weds, a large sum of money really helps to start a new home.

中：用现金作礼品是有好处的。对送的人来说，省得你挖空心思去想买什么合适。而对结婚的人呢，一大笔钱对他们开始构筑新家的作用就大了。

Foreigner: I see what you mean. I’ve never thought of it that way. There is another thing that puzzled me. The other day another Chinese friend gave me a present. When I unwrapped it and thanked him and praised the gift, he went all red in the face, apparently very disgruntled.

外：我明白你的意思了。我是从来没那么想过。还有一件事我弄不懂。有一天，另一个中国朋友给了我一件礼物。我打开包装，赞赏了礼品，并向他表示感谢时，他却满脸通红，显然很不愉快。

Chinese: (Laughs) That’s another point where we differ. We don’t usually unwrap or comment on a present in the presence of the donor. Your friend felt very embarrassed2 probably because it was only a small gift so no wonder he felt very uncomfortable when you thanked him and praised the gift.

中：（大笑）这是我们之间的又一个不同点。我们一般不在送礼人面前打开或者评论礼物。你的朋友感到尴尬也许因为那只是个小礼物，所以当你表示赞赏和感谢时，他就感到不舒服了。

Foreigner: Oh dear! I certainly did not mean to offend him. It’s our custom to unwrap a present in the donor’s presence. A gift, however small, represents the donor’s good will, and it is only appropriate that you should show your appreciation.

外：哎呀，天哪！我实在不是有意冒犯他。我们的习俗是在送礼人面前打开礼品。礼品虽小，代表的是送礼人的心意，受礼人就该表示赞赏。

注解：
1. disgruntle [dIs5grQntl] vt. 使不满，使不高兴
2. embarrassed [Im5bAr[st] adj. 窘的，尴尬的