你昨夜曾把两件性质不同、轻重不等的罪名加在我头上。你第一件指责我折散了彬格莱先生和令姐的好事,完全不顾他们俩之间如何情深意切,你第二件指责我不顾体面,丧尽人道,蔑视别人的权益,毁坏了韦翰先生那指日可期的富贵,又破来了他美好的前途。
"Two offenses of a very different nature, and by no means of equalmagnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister, and the other, that I had, in defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham. Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged favourite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and who had been brought up to expect its exertion, would be a depravity, to which the separation of two young persons, whose affection could be the growth of only a few weeks, could bear no comparison. But from the severity of that blame which was last night so liberallybestowed, respecting each circumstance, I shall hope to be in the future secured, when the following account of my actions and their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them, which is due to myself, I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry. The necessity must be obeyed, and further apology would be absurd.
你昨夜曾把两件性质不同、轻重不等的罪名加在我头上。你第一件指责我折散了彬格莱先生和令姐的好事,完全不顾他们俩之间如何情深意切,你第二件指责我不顾体面,丧尽人道,蔑视别人的权益,毁坏了韦翰先生那指日可期的富贵,又破来了他美好的前途。我竟无情无义,抛弃了自己小时候的朋友,一致公认的先父生前的宠幸,一个无依无靠的青年,从小起就指望我们施恩……这方面的确是我的一种遗憾;至于那一对青年男女,他们不过只有几星期的交情,就算我拆散了他们,也不能同这件罪过相提并论。现在请允许我把我自己的行为和动机一一剖白一下,希望你弄明白了其中的原委以后,将来可以不再象昨天晚上那样对我严词苛责。在解释这些必要的事情时,如果我迫不得已,要述述我自己的情绪,因而使你情绪不快,我只得向你表示歉意。既是出于迫不得已,那么再道歉未免就嫌可笑了。
"I had not been long in Hertfordshire, before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had often seen him in love before. At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas'saccidentalinformation, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided. From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without anysymptomof peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. If YOU have not been mistaken here, _I_ must have been in error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable. If it be so, if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain--but I willventureto say that my investigation and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason. My objections to the marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have the utmost force of passion to put aside, in my own case; the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me.
我到哈福德郡不久,就和别人一样,看出了彬格莱先生在当地所有的少女中偏偏看中了令姐。但是一直等到在尼日斐花园开跳舞会的那个晚上,我才顾虑到他当真对令姐有了爱恋之意。说到他的恋爱方面,我以前也看得很多。在那次跳舞会上,当我很荣幸地跟你跳舞时,我才听到威廉•卢卡斯偶然说起彬格莱先生对令姐的殷勤已经弄得满城风雨,大家都以为他们就要谈到嫁娶问题。听他说起来,好象事情已经千稳万妥,只是迟早问题罢了。从那时起,我就密切注意着我朋友的行为,于是我看出了他对班纳特小姐的钟情,果然和他往常的恋爱情形大不相同。我也注意着令姐。她的神色和风度依旧象平常那样落落大方,和蔼可亲,并没有钟情于任何人的迹象。根据我那一晚上仔细观察的情形看来,我确实认为她虽然乐意接受他的殷勤,可是她并没有用深情密意来报答他。要是这件事你没有弄错,那么错处一定在我;你对于令姐既有透辟的了解,那么当然可能是我错了。倘若事实果真如此,倘若果真是我弄错了,造成令姐的痛苦,那当然难怪你气愤。可是我可以毫不犹豫地说,令姐当初的风度极其洒脱,即使观察力最敏锐的人,也难免以为她尽管性情柔和,可是她的心不容易打动。我当初确实希望她无动于中,可是我敢说,我虽然主观上有我的希望,有我的顾虑,可是我的观察和我的推断并不会受到主观上的影响。我认为,令姐决不会因为我希望她无动于中,她就当真无动于中;我的看法大公无私,我的愿望也合情合理。我昨天晚上说,遇到这样门户不相称的婚姻,轮到我自己身上的时候,我必须用极大的感情上的力量圆心压制,至于说到他们俩这一门婚姻,我所以要反对,还不光光是为了这些理由,因为关于门户高低的问题,我朋友并不象我那么重视。