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Dear Annie:
亲爱的安妮：
When my son was 14, he was friends with "Tim", a boy who drank and did drugs at a young age and who once stole his father's car and took my son joyriding around the neighborhood. I didn't want our son hanging out with Tim after that, but my husband thought the boy should be forgiven and gave our son permission to keep seeing him.
我儿子14岁时，交上一位叫“提姆”的朋友，这个男孩小小年纪，即酗酒又吸毒，有一次还偷偷开走他父亲的车，载着我儿子在社区兜风。自那以后我不想让儿子跟提姆出去瞎混，但是我丈夫认为应该原谅那孩子，并允许儿子继续找他玩。
That was four years ago. Tim, now 17, continued breaking the law and is currently serving time in a juvenile facility for various felony convictions. He will be getting out in a couple of months. I do not want him on my property or hanging out with my son (who does not use the best judgment when he is around Tim), but my husband still believes Tim should be forgiven. Please help.—Distraught and Worried
那是4年前的事了。提姆现在17岁了，还是那么桀骜不驯，屡次触犯法律，目前他在一家重罪少管所里服刑。两个月后他就会被释放。我不想他出现在我家，不想让他再接近我儿子，因为他只要在提姆身边，就无法做正确的判断，但是我丈夫仍然觉得应该再次接受原谅他。请帮忙。——担心烦恼的母亲
Dear Distraught and Worried:
亲爱的烦恼的母亲：
You can forgive Tim without letting him be an influence on your son. Inform your husband that forgiveness doesn't mean disregarding another's safety. It means you let go of your anger toward the person.
你可以原谅提姆，同时不让他带坏你儿子。提醒你的丈夫，宽恕不代表不考虑别人的安全。宽恕只能代表你释放了对那人的愤怒。
It is important to discuss your concerns with your son. Calmly explain why you think spending time with Tim is not in his best interests. Tell him you have confidence in his maturity and trust him. Beyond that, have faith that you have raised him right.
一定要跟儿子谈谈你的担忧，因为这很重要。跟孩子解释时，语气放平和，告诉他你为什么觉得最好不要和提姆呆在一起。告诉他他已经长大成熟了，你对他有信心，你相信他。除此之外，相信自己会把他抚养成人。
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