Don’t you just hate it when a fellow moviegoer provides a running commentary? Here’s how to silence the squawker.
You Will:Need Self-control; Persistence; Daring; Theater management
Steps
STEP 1 Identify the evildoer
Positively identify the miscreant. You don’t want to wrongly accuse someone who appears to be speaking, but is actually just chewing his popcorn aggressively.
STEP 2 Consider moving seats
See if there’s a seat you can move to without much fuss. In these situations, an avoidance maneuver is always preferable to a confrontation.
STEP 3 Assess your adversary
Assess your adversary. Does the loudmouth have tattoos that might have been acquired in prison? An aura of insanity? A weapon? If so, it’s probably best to wait until the movie comes out on DVD.
STEP 4 Start out nicely
Begin with a polite approach. In a soft, calm voice, explain that while you are impressed with how well he is following the plot, you’d appreciate it if he’d keep his observations to himself.
STEP 5 Kick it up a notch
If he ignores you, raise your voice a notch and say you are begging him to pipe down, as you paid good money to hear Daniel Day-Lewis’s voice, not his.
Ask loudly if anyone else is bothered by this boorish behavior. It’s in your best interest to get the entire theater riled up against noise.
STEP 6 Complain to management
If nothing is getting through to this chucklehead, complain to management. Even if the 'manager' is a pimple-faced teen, he has the authority to throw out unruly customers.
STEP 7 Request a refund
If all your efforts have led to naught, plus you’ve missed a good chunk of the movie, politely request a refund. If you come off as reasonable, you might even score some free passes.
Action movies and those with a PG rating are the most likely to have problems with audience behavior, according to officials at one large movie-theater chain.