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Chapter 8
第八章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You
如果他要跟你分手，那他其实没那么喜欢你
"I Don't Want to Go Out with You" Means Just That
“我不想跟你出去”就是这个意思
Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us.
所有人都希望被爱被需要，尤其是从刚跟我们分手的人那里。
I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore, his sad, wistful "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone?
我懂得。还有什么比刚跟我们说他的生活不再需要我们的人，用他忧伤，留恋的声音在电话的另一端说“我太想你了”更好的呢？
It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must.
这很有效。这很令人兴奋。这是不可抗拒的。但你必须抵抗。
If he's not calling you to tell you he hired a U-Haul to come pick up all your stuff and move it back into his house, then consider yourself a nice, downy little pillow cushioning him from his feelings of loneliness and loss that he's not fully ready to deal with.
如果他不打电话给你说他雇了友好出租来接你，把你的东西都搬回他的房子，那就把自己当作在他还没有完全准备好应对孤独与失落时用来缓冲的一个上好的毛茸茸的小枕头。
The "But He Misses Me" Excuse
“但是他想念我”的借口
Dear Greg,
亲爱的格雷格，
My boyfriend and I had been dating for two years, living together for one.
我和我的男友相恋2年了，同居已有一年。
We started fighting and having all sorts of problems.
我们开始吵架，产生了各种各样的问题。
He broke up with me three weeks ago and I moved out.
他三个礼拜前和我分手了，我搬了出去。
Of course, I'm devastated. The thing is, he calls me all the time. He wants to chat.
当然，我十分绝望。问题是，他一直在给我打电话，希望跟我谈谈。
He asks about my friends, and wants to know how my family is.
他问候我的朋友，还想知道我家人的近况。
He likes to keep up with the little details of my life, just as if we were going out.
他喜欢保持了解我生活的小细节，就像我们还在恋爱一样。
My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me, and I like that.
我的朋友们都说我应该停止跟他聊天，但是我认为他想我了，而且我喜欢这样。
I miss him. I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should be together again.
我想念他。我感觉如果我一直保持跟他联系可以让他回想起我曾经的好，最后他会意识到我们应该复合。
What do you think?
你觉得呢？
Signed Brenda
布伦达
Dear Misty Watered Colored Memories,
亲爱的模糊的掺水的五彩记忆，
So glad he likes to keep up with the Way You Were.
很高兴他喜欢继续保持了解你的生活。
Who doesn't need another phone pal, especially since you have a new phone and a new apartment?
谁不需要个话友？尤其是在你有了一个新电话和新公寓的时候。
Put him on hold and listen to me, missy: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.
让他等着，听我说，小姐：一个真正想让恋情发展下去的男人会翻山越岭去留住自己所爱的女人。
If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person.
如果他没有打电话告诉你他有多爱你，希望你回来，这一定是因为他会在你的新住处出现并亲自告诉你。
If he's not trying to romance your socks off with dates, flowers, and poetry, it should only be because he's too engrossed with his couples counseling workbooks and is prioritizing getting back on the right track.
如果他没有用约会、花朵和情诗给你浪漫的强烈攻势，那一定是因为他专心于夫妻咨询手册，优先回到正轨。
If he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
如果他没有做以上任何一件事，他可能爱你，他可能想你，但是他终究只是没有那么爱你。
Stop taking his calls and let him really know what it's like to live without you.
停止接他的电话，让他真正清楚不再跟你一起生活是什么样子的。
Greg
格雷格
