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Hi!everybody, this is Tod Smith with Little Things Matter.The title of today's lesson is Constructive Versus Destructive Complaining
大家好。我是托德·史密斯为您讲述“小事也重要”。今天的题目是消极与积极的抱怨
Psychologists say that people generally complain for one of two reasons—as a way of enlisting people to agree with their point of view, or as a means of making conversation since negative observations often yield a bigger response than positive comments. (Sadly, that is true.)
心里学家说人们通常抱怨有两方面的原因：一个是来争取别人的观点和自己的一致，或作为一种交谈因为负面观察往往比积极评价产生更大的反应。(可悲的是，这是真的。)
Today, I’m going on record as saying that neither of these reasons are valid enough to outweigh the fact that no one likes being around people who are chronic complainers.
今天,我要公开说,这些原因都是正当的，而且比没有人喜欢被周围人一直抱怨着这一事实更有价值。
Whining is a childish trait and can be a very difficult habit to break once it has become a part of a person’s communication style. Nevertheless, breaking the habit of complaining is essential if we wish to be viewed as people whose words carry weight and whose opinions matter.
抱怨是一种非常幼稚的行为习惯，一旦养成就很难打破这种坏习惯，它将成为人们交际风格的一部分。然而，改正抱怨的习惯是非常必要的，如果我们希望被别人视为那种说话和观点有分量的人。
Some forms of complaints are obvious, but other forms are often disguised as commentary or critique. They may appear more subtle but are just as damaging to your reputation.
有些抱怨的形式是非常明显的，但也有其他形式常常被伪装成评论或批判。它们的出现可能是微妙的，但是却可以损害你的名誉。
When you do have a legitimate complaint to communicate, you can do so in a productive manner by following these guidelines.
当你确实有一个合理的抱怨需要进行沟通,你可以以富有成效的方式遵循这些准则。
1. Have a purpose. Having an objective for complaining means that you wish to accomplish something that is both reasonable and specific.
1.有目的性的。有一个客观的抱怨意味着你想有所成就,这是合理而又明确的。
Complaints without purpose include things like:
没有目的的抱怨的事情有：
The way your favorite NFL team played on Sunday
The weatherThe traffic on the InterstateThese things may bother you to a degree, but you can’t do anything about any of them, so why spend your time (and someone else’s) complaining about them?
您最喜欢的美国国家足球联盟的球队在周日比赛;天气;州级公路上的交通;有些事可能影响你的学位，但是你又不能对他们做任何事，因此为什么你要花费你的(和别人的)时间来抱怨他们呢?
2. Offer a proposed solution. Whenever you complain, be prepared to offer a reasonable solution.
2.提供一种解决方案。无论你什么时候抱怨，去准备提供一种合理的解决方法。
3. Be understanding. People are not perfect and most employees are doing the best they can. It’s also important to recognize that what may be logical to you, may not be logical to someone else.
3.理解性的。人都是不完美的，但是员工们尽他们最大的努力去做事。同样重要的是，认识到什么对你来说是合理的，或许这些对别人来说不是合理的。
Make a point to accept and value the differences in people. Recognize that we all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences. Specifically, have a little more patience; be a little more forgiving of others.
强调接受和价值的差异。要承认我们都是来自不同的背景，有着不同的生活经历。具体来说，要多一点耐心，学会更加宽容别人。
If you find yourself being overly critical of others or the world at large (which leads to the habit of complaining), let me encourage you to start being more aware of this and work on improving your attitude in this area.
如果你发现自己过于批判别人或者整个世界(这就是导致你形成抱怨的习惯)，让我来鼓励你开始有意识的对待这些，这样会改变你在这些方面的态度。
