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The "I Should Just Wait It Out" Excuse
“我应该等一等”的借口
Dear Greg,
亲爱的格雷格，
I started going out with a guy who is really fun and sweet and a breath of fresh air.
我开始跟一个诙谐贴心的男人约会，他让我耳目一新。
He calls when he says he's going to, drives sort of far from where he lives to take me out, and we have been having a really nice time together.
他答应给我打电话就一定会打，从蛮远的地方开车过来带我出去，我们在一起度过了一段很美好的时光。
The only problem is he's going through a really ugly custody battle and he can't stop talking about it. Really.
唯一的问题是他正在经历一场丑陋的监护权之战，他侃侃而谈，停不下来。
Even when I beg him not to, he can't stop talking about his wife and how much he hates her, what a liar she is, and how he's going to "take her down."
尽管我求他别这样，他还是无法停止谈论他的妻子以及对她的厌恶，她是个怎样的骗子，他打算要如何“挫她的锐气”。
I understand this is a difficult time for him, and I don't want to blow this just because it happens to be bad timing.
我明白这段时间对他而言很艰难，但是我不想只是因为这个坏时机就告吹。
Should I just try to be supportive and listen to him vent about it all?
我是否应该支持他，倾听他的所有发泄？
Signed Pam
帕姆
Dear Midnight at the Oasis,
亲爱的午夜绿洲，
Wow. So, he's fun and sweet and a breath of fresh air, but can't stop spewing bile and talking about his ex-wife.
哇哦，他真有趣贴心，另人耳目一新，但是他不停地吐苦水和谈论他的前妻。
Sounds like a catch. Ladies, I mean it.
听起来有诈。女士们，我是认真的。
I'm very sorry that it's so hard to find a decent guy these days, that you'll let any punctual male with the ability to dial the phone and drive a car get away with anything.
我很抱歉最近找个好男人十分艰难，以至于你会让任何有能力打电话的守时的男人开车带你逃离困境。
It's a sad state of affairs and I'm not sure what can be done about it.
这对搞外遇而言是个悲伤的状况，我不确定还能补救些什么。
As for you, it sounds like there's no chance of him being that into you any time soon, if only because there's simply no room for it in his angry little head right now.
对你而言，听起来像是他没有很快喜欢你的可能性了，这只是因为他气愤地小脑袋里已经没有位置了。
Here's my vote: It doesn't sound like he's given you good enough reason to keep sitting through his one-man show called "I Want to Kill My Wife."
这是我的建议：听起来不像是他给你一个很好的理由坐着去听他的个人秀“我想杀了我老婆”。
If he misses you, he can get his act together and call you when his head is clearer.
如果他想念你，他可以等到能控制自己的行为、思绪清楚了再给你打电话。
In the meantime, you have much better things to do, including going out and buying a ticket to a much higher quality piece of theater.
在此期间，你要把自己的时间花在更值得的地方，包括出门买一张去更高质量的剧院的票。
Sincerely, Greg
真诚的，格雷格
Again, it's never going to be good news if you have to think of your relationship in terms of "waiting for him."
再说一次，如果你把自己的爱情当作“等待他”，这并不是好消息。
He's not a stock you're supposed to be investing in.
他不是你应该投资的股票。
He's a man who's supposed to be emotionally available enough to talk to you, see you, and perhaps fall madly in love with you.
他应该是一个充满感情地与你谈话、看望你，也许是疯狂的爱着你的人。
That's why he's on a date with you.
这就是他和你约会的原因。
And if you want to ask for the absolute minimum, he can at least have the courtesy to be good company.
如果你想知道绝对最小值，他至少可以出于礼貌作陪。
It's So Simple
显而易见
Yes. You are going to meet many men in many different stages of recovering from relationships.
是的，你在从恋情中的各个恢复阶段会遇上很多男人。
If he is really into you, he will get over his issues fast and make sure he doesn't lose you.
如果他真的喜欢你，他会尽快解决自己的问题来确保不会失去你。
Or he will make it clear to you how he feels, so there's no mystery, and tell you up front that he's not up to it right now.
否则他会告诉你他的真实感受，所以这里没有秘密，而且会事先告知你他现在不想应对。
And then you can best be sure, the minute he is ready, he will run out and find you. You are not easily forgettable.
然后你可以十分确定，一旦他准备好了会狂奔向你。你不是能轻易忘却的对象。
