Continuing with the writings:
继续我的笔记:
"The next morning I went to my professor's office to ask for an extension on the memo assignment,
“第二天,我来到我教授办公室,问我能不能晚点交作业,
and I began gibbering unintelligably as I had the night before,
然后喔喔喔欧开始胡言乱语,就像前一天晚上一样
and he eventually brought me to the emergency room.
他最后把我送到急诊室
Once there, someone I'll just call 'The Doctor'
到了之后,有一个人,我就叫他“医生”吧,
and his whole team of goons swooped down, lifted me high into the air,
和他的野蛮助手们,飞扑下来,把我举的高高的
and slammed me down on a metal bed with such force that I saw stars.
然后狠狠的摔在了一张金属床上,重的我都看到星星了
Then they strapped my legs and arms to the metal bed with thick leather straps.
然后它们把我的手脚都绑起来了,用很厚的皮带
A sound came out of my mouth that I'd never heard before:
一个我丛没有听到过的声音丛我嘴里说出来:
half groan, half scream, barely human and pure terror.
一半呻吟,一半尖叫,惨无人性,纯粹恐惧
Then the sound came again, forced from somewhere deep inside my belly and scraping my throat raw.
然后这个声音又出现了,从我的肚子了逼出来的,刮着我的喉咙
This incident resulted in my involuntary hospitalization.
这个事情导致了我被强制住院
One of the reasons the doctors gave for hospitalizing me against my will was that I was "gravely disabled."
其中一个理由我医生给的强制住院的理由是,我严重生活不自理
To support this view, they wrote in my chart that I was unable to do my Yale Law School homework.
为了支持这个说法,它们在我的档案里写说我不能完成我耶鲁法学院的作业。
I wondered what that meant about much of the rest of New Haven.
我不知道这对其他的纽黑文的人意味着什么
During the next year, I would spend five months in a psychiatric hospital.
在第二年,我又在医院里待了五个月
At times, I spent up to 20 hours in mechanical restraints,
有时候,我会再机械限制中度过20小时,
arms tied, arms and legs tied down, arms and legs tied down with a net tied tightly across my chest.
手被捆这,手和脚被紧紧的捆着,手和脚被捆着,而且胸前还有一个网子绑着
I never struck anyone.
我没有打任何人
I never harmed anyone. I never made any direct threats.
我没有害任何人,我没有直接威胁任何人
If you've never been restrained yourself, you may have a benign image of the experience.
如果你没有被限制过,你可能对这个经历有个不差的印象
There's nothing benign about it.
但是其实糟透了
Every week in the United States, it's been estimated that one to three people die in restraints.
再美国,每周都有一到三个人死于这种限制
They strangle, they aspirate their vomit, they suffocate, they have a heart attack.
他们被缧,吸着自己的呕吐物,他们被窒息,他们心脏病发作
It's unclear whether using mechanical restraints is actually saving lives or costing lives.
不知道这种机械限制是在救人还是害人
While I was preparing to write my student note for the Yale Law Journal on mechanical restraints,
当我在耶鲁法学院刊物上给学生准备关于机械限制的讲义时,
I consulted an eminent law professor who was also a psychiatrist,
我咨询了一位知名的法学教授和精神病学家
and said surely he would agree that restraints must be degrading, painful and frightening.
并向他肯定了这种限制是伤人自尊,痛苦和可怕的
He looked at me in a knowing way, and said, "Elyn, you don't really understand: Elyn
他理解的看着我,说你还是不明白:
These people are psychotic.
这些人又精神病。
They're different from me and you.
他们和你和我都不一样
They wouldn't experience restraints as we would."
他们不会像你我一样经历限制。
I didn't have the courage to tell him in that moment that, no, we're not that different from him.
我当时没有勇气告诉他,不,我们和你并没有什么不同
We don't like to be strapped down to a bed and left to suffer for hours any more than he would.
我们不喜欢被捆绑在床上,跟他一样不喜欢在那里受苦
In fact, until very recently, and I'm sure some people still hold it as a view,
事实上,最近我肯定现在还是有人觉得
that restraints help psychiatric patients feel safe.
这些限制能帮助病人感到安全
I've never met a psychiatric patient who agreed with that view.
我从来没有遇到过一个精神病同意这种说法
Today, I'd like to say I'm very pro-psychiatry but very anti-force.
今天,我非常赞成心理治疗,但是非常反对强制型治疗
I don't think force is effective as treatment,
我觉得强迫没有效果,
and I think using force is a terrible thing to do to another person with a terrible illness.
而且对一个有严重精神病的人实施强制手段是很可怕的
Eventually, I came to Los Angeles to teach at the University of Southern California Law School.
最终,我来到了洛杉矶,在南加州法学院教书