Well, what do you do when you've got something you're fed up with or... or you don't want like... You put them up for sale, don't you?
And that's exactly what I did do.
Put the whole damn lot of them up for sale.
The family you mean.
Yes, the family, including the dog.
She came into my shop that very day and Tom, she says, I've just about had enough of it.
I'm sick of slaving for a husband what sleeps all day.
So here you are, she says.
And she gives me an advert on a card to put up the window of the paper shop.
What did it say?
I've got it here.
Read it for us, will you?
For sale, one house, trained dog, one reasonably trained boy of two years, one baby girl of two weeks and one men that needs training.
Any offers considered. Apply within.
And were there any offers?
It was me what wrote that advert.
You see, I live with Marina and Brian.
She and her dog.
Oh, yes, caused quite a stir it did.
I should say I had inquires from, from about a couple of dozen housewives in all.
And what offers did they make?
Well, one woman offered 25p, she said that's all a man was worth.
What about you, Mr Spiden? What was your reaction to the advertisement?
Well, you may imagine, my wife told me about it, but I thought she was joking.
Little did I realize, I was bloody furious when I saw it there.
It wasn't till next morning.
We live upstairs of the paper shop, and when I come down to go on my milk round...
Oh, yes, of course, you're a milkman.
That's right. I often have a dekko at adverts, Tom puts up.
And when I saw that one sort of, staring me in the face, I nearly blew me up.
What did you do?
I'll tell you what he did, he came and blamed me for everything.
Well it was you, wannit, that egged her on. It was you that wrote the advert.
It was a big joke really.
Just that Brian took it all the wrong away.
Know what he did?
When he come off his milk round, he barges into the shop and he says, take that bloody advert out and put one in for me.
Ask some kind taxi driver or someone to come and take my mother-in-law back to Birmingham.
But it's all blown over now, innit.
It's done us a world of good in a way.
We're the best of friends again.
Even the dog started to...