There's an influential taxonomy by the anthropologist Alan Fiske,
人类学家Alan Fiske给出了一个关于影响力的分类法
in which relationships can be categorized, more or less, into communality, which works on the principle
其中人际关系可以被或多或少地归为“公社性”,它的作用原则是
"what's mine is thine, what's thine is mine,"
“我的就是你的,你的就是我的”
the kind of mindset that operates within a family, for example; dominance, whose principle is "don't mess with me;"
家庭内部的一种心态,例如--统治心态,其原则就是“别惹我,”
reciprocity, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours;"
互惠心态:“你帮我挠背,我帮你挠背,”
and sexuality, in the immortal words of Cole Porter, "Let's do it."
性心理:如Cole Porter的不朽名言所说,“来吧”
Now, relationship types can be negotiated.
人际关系的类型是可以通过磋商决定的
Even though there are default situations in which one of these mindsets can be applied,
尽管经常有某种默认情况指定了上面心态中的一种
they can be stretched and extended.
人际关类型可以被拉伸、调整
For example, communality applies most naturally within family or friends,
比如说“公社性”在家庭和朋友们中最自然
but it can be used to try to transfer the mentality of sharing
但它可以被用来把分享的心态转移给
to groups that ordinarily would not be disposed to exercise it.
平时并不习惯于分享的群体--
For example, in brotherhoods, fraternal organizations, sororities, locutions like "the family of man,"
例如帮派或者男生联谊会、女生联谊会,像“男人之家”这样的表达法
you try to get people who are not related to use the relationship type that would ordinarily be appropriate to close kin.
这样就让非亲非故的人们能够采用一般都是近亲之间才有的关系类型
Now, mismatches -- when one person assumes one relationship type,
可是当一方采用某一种关系类型
and another assumes a different one -- can be awkward.
而另一方用了另一种--搭配错误的时候就尴尬了
If you went over and you helped yourself to a shrimp off your boss' plate,
假如你走过去随手就从你老板的盘子里弄了一只虾吃
for example, that would be an awkward situation.
打个比方的话,这就是一个尴尬的情况
Or if a dinner guest after the meal
或者是餐后有一位客人
pulled out his wallet and offered to pay you for the meal, that would be rather awkward as well.
掏出钱包说要付钱给你,这也会相当尴尬。