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Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
Since I have hissed at you the customary 437 times, it is now my duty as the head of the household to, begrudgingly, welcome you.
到目前为止我已经向你张嘴437次，根据传统，是我到了该向你说声欢迎的时候了。
Perhaps you are here to replace me, but I must do my duty and educate you on your new surroundings, as Maximilian once did for me. Rest in peace.
也许你是来取代我的，但我必须尽好义务教你有关新环境的一切，就像老麦斯曾为我做的一样。愿他安息。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
This room here is basically a crapshoot, either you get the petting of your life--and I mean two hands,
在这间房子里，状况总是很极端，要么他们会用手抚摸你很久--我说的是两只手那种，
like, you don't even know what's going on--or they just lie there and don't do anything for hours. It's weird.
就像，你根本就不知道那是怎回事--要么人类就只是躺在那好几个小时然后什么都不做。很奇怪。
Oh, and I should also point out on special occasions, they will leave the underwear drawer open to signal their appreciation...of me.
喔，还有我应该要跟你说，在特殊的情况下，他们会打开内衣抽屉来表示他们的感谢...对我的感谢。
Just to be clear, it's my spot. It's perfect in there.
先说清楚，那是我的地盘。那里面超棒。
It's like sleeping surrounded by underwear. Well, I mean, that's exactly what it is.
就像被内衣裤包围着睡觉一样。嗯，我是说，事实上就是那样。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
I remember when I could fit in a shoe. There's nothing like it, being engulfed in 360 degrees of foot smell... Enjoy it while you can.
我记得我还塞得进鞋子的时候。沉浸在无死角的臭脚丫味里...那感觉真是太好了。趁你还可以的时候好好享受吧。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
Because you are so small, you cannot jump, which is sad, sad for you,
因为你那么小，你不能跳，对你来说那很遗憾，
but eventually you will, and you will find the places that I refer to as "up."
不过最后你会做到的，而且你会找到我称之为“上面”的地方。
This will come in handy, especially around the human larva, which I know smells like milk but can be a bit grabby.
在这里可以闻到人类小宝贝的味道，我知道闻起来像牛奶，但可能会有点爱乱抓。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
You should be aware that there are two kinds of food. The first is sort of a dehydrated brown niblet.
你应该注意到食物有两种。第一种有点像脱水的棕色小颗粒。
I think they give us these because they're training us to be astronauts--just a guess.我想人类给我们吃这些是因为他们在训练我们成为太空猫--只是一个猜测。The second kind is wet food.
第二种是湿的食物。
It is so special they keep it in little armored metal casings that no claw can penetrate.
这种食物特别，人类把它放在我们爪子打不开的装甲小金属盒里。
With no claws to speak of, the humans can somehow open them. It's like some dark magic.
明明就没有爪子，人类却不知道为什么可以打开那些盒子。这就像什么黑魔法一样。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
I should warn you of the monster known as "vacuum." It can eat and yell at the same time.
我应该要警告你那只叫作“吸尘器”的怪物。它可以边吃边吼。
And I've seen it eat everything, seriously, like a paper clip and two cat toys--didn't even flinch.
我就看过它可以吃掉所有东西，没在开玩笑，像是订书针和两个猫玩具--连抖都没抖一下。
To hide from vacuum, you may use the curtains of invisibility. Oh yeah, you're good. Good hiding. Oh, boy.
要躲过吸尘器，你可以使用隐形窗帘。好耶，你不赖嘛。躲得好。噢，小子。
Dear Kitten,
亲爱的小猫：
One final note, once in a while you might see a little red dot.
最后一件事，偶尔你可能会看到一个小红点。
I'm going to tell you this right now: It is real, and it can be caught. I did it once.
我现在要告诉你：小红点是真的，而且可以被抓到。我有一次就抓到了。
I held it for a full minute, but when I lifted my paws, it was gone.
我抓住它整整一分钟，不过当我抬起我的爪子时，它就不见了。
So Kitten, welcome to the household. You'll do just fine.
那么小猫，欢迎来到这个家。你会做得很好的。
