And even though we might help them achieve some short-term wins by overhelping
即使我们可以通过这种过度帮助来让他们获得一些短期的成功
like they get a better grade if we help them do their homework,
比如帮他们做作业而拿到的好成绩,
they might end up with a longer childhood résumé when we help
在我们的帮助下,他们可能会有一个更好看的童年简历,
what I'm saying is that all of this comes at a long-term cost to their sense of self.
我要说的是,这些会让他们在自我认知上付出长期的代价。
What I'm saying is, we should be less concerned with the specific set of colleges they might be able to apply to or might get into
我要说的是,我们应该更少关注具体哪些名牌大学他们应该申请或进入,
and far more concerned that they have the habits, the mindset, the skill set, the wellness, to be successful wherever they go.
而更多关注他们的习惯、心态、技能、身心健康,有了这些,他们才能在哪儿都成功。
What I'm saying is, our kids need us to be a little less obsessed with grades and scores
我要说的是,孩子需要我们少一点痴迷于成绩和分数,
and a whole lot more interested in childhood providing a foundation for their success built on things like love and chores.
而将重点放在打造一个能帮助他们为成功奠基的童年上,比如爱,比如做家务。
Did I just say chores? Did I just say chores? I really did. But really, here's why.
我刚才是说做家务么?确实是的。说真的,这是有理由的。
The longest longitudinal study of humans ever conducted is called the Harvard Grant Study.
史上历时最长的人类研究被称作哈弗格兰特研究。
It found that professional success in life, which is what we want for our kids,
这项研究发现,专业上的成功,也就是我们期望孩子达到的,
that professional success in life comes from having done chores as a kid,
取决于小时候做的杂活,
and the earlier you started, the better, that a roll-up-your-sleeves- and-pitch-in mindset,
越早开始越好,这种挽起袖子开干的心态,
a mindset that says, there's some unpleasant work, someone's got to do it,
这种心态代表着:可能有些不想做的工作,总要有人去完成它,
it might as well be me, a mindset that says, I will contribute my effort to the betterment of the whole,
这个人也可能就是我,这种心态代表着:我会尽力去改善整件事情,
that that's what gets you ahead in the workplace. Now, we all know this. You know this.
这就是让你在工作中获得先机的东西。我们都清楚这个道理,你们也都清楚。