评论
打印
But each time, they were gnawing at me, eating at me.
但每当我想到这两起病例，那种感觉都会折磨啃噬我。
And I'd like to be able to say to you that my worst mistakes only happened in the first five years of practice as many of my colleagues say, which is total B.S.
而我也希望我可以告诉你，我造成的最严重的错误只发生在了我开始行医的前五年，像我众多的同事所称一般。但这完全是扯淡。
Some of my doozies have been in the last five years.
在最近的五年中，我也犯了一些错误。
Alone, ashamed and unsupported.
我依然觉得孤独，羞愧，无助。
Here's the problem: If I can't come clean and talk about my mistakes,
但问题的症结是：如果我不能理清和谈论我所犯过的错误，
if I can't find the still-small voice that tells me what really happened, how can I share it with my colleagues?
如果我无法找到那可以告诉我错误的源头的那仍然微小的声音，我又如何能和我的同事分享我的经验？
How can I teach them about what I did so that they don't do the same thing?
我又如何教导他们，让他们不再重蹈我的覆辙？
If I were to walk into a room -- like right now, I have no idea what you think of me.
当我走入一个场合时 -- 就像现在，我完全不知道各位如何看待我。
When was the last time you heard somebody talk about failure after failure after failure?
你们上一次听到别人谈论自己一次又一次的失败是什么时候的事情？
Oh yeah, you go to a cocktail party and you might hear about some other doctor, but you're not going to hear somebody talking about their own mistakes.
是的，如果你们去参加一场聚会，你或许会听到某些关于其他医生的错误的闲聊， 但你不会听到有人 谈论自己所犯的错误。
If I were to walk into a room filled with my colleages and ask for their support right now and start to tell what I've just told you right now,
如果我现在走入一间坐满我的同事的房间，向他们寻求帮助并开始和他们说我刚才告诉各位的事情，
I probably wouldn't get through two of those stories before they would start to get really uncomfortable,
或许在我还没讲超过两个故事之前，他们就会开始感到非常的不自在。
somebody would crack a joke, they'd change the subject and we would move on.
有人就会讲个笑话，然后他们会改变话题。
And in fact, if I knew and my colleagues knew that one of my orthopedic colleagues took off the wrong leg in my hospital,
事实上，如果我，或者我的同事，知道医院中一位骨科的同事帮病人截错了腿，
believe me, I'd have trouble making eye contact with that person.
相信我，当我遇到他时，我也无法与他有正常眼神的交汇。
That's the system that we have.
这就是我们所拥有的体系.
It's a complete denial of mistakes.
一个完完全全的否定错误的体系。
