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I also declared to the world at large that I would ride it out, and I would not allow cancer to ride me.
我还向世界宣告，我将度过难关，我不会允许癌症将我打倒。
But to go from where I was to where I wanted to be, I needed something.
但是要从我的现状到达我的期望，我需要一些东西。
I needed an anchor, an image, a peg to peg this process on, so that I could go from there.
我需要一个依靠，一种意象、一个标杆，钉在这一过程的起始，然后我可以从那里开始。
And I found that in my dance, my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion, my very life breath.
然后我从舞蹈中发现了它，我的舞蹈、我的力量、我的能量、我的热情，我生命的气息。
But it wasn't easy. Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy.
但这并不容易。相信我，这绝不容易。
How do you keep cheer when you go from beautiful to bald in three days?
当你美丽的外型在三天之内变成秃子时，你怎能保持振奋？
How do you not despair when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy, climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture, that to someone like me who could dance for three hours?
你怎能不绝望，在你的身体对化疗产生不良反应时，爬几节楼梯都像攀登险峰对于我这样一个能连续跳3个小时的舞者？
How do you not get overwhelmed by the despair and the misery of it all?
你怎能不彷徨失措因为痛苦和绝望？
All I wanted to do was curl up and weep. But I kept telling myself fear and tears are options I did not have.
我想做的只有蜷缩起来哭泣。但是我一直告诉我自己畏缩和哭泣都不是我将要做的选择。
So I would drag myself into my dance studio -- body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio, and learn everything I learned when I was four, all over again, reworked, relearned, regrouped.
所以我强拉自己到我的舞蹈室——我的身体、思想和灵魂——每天都在我的舞蹈室学习我曾经学习过的所有东西，就好像我又回到四岁，从新工作，从头学习，从新组织。
It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it. Difficult.
这一过程非常痛苦，但是我完成了。真困难。
I focused on my mudras, on the imagery of my dance, on the poetry and the metaphor and the philosophy of the dance itself.
我专注于我的身印手印，专注于我舞蹈的意境，专注于韵律和意象和舞蹈的哲学本身。
And slowly, I moved out of that miserable state of mind.
然后缓慢的我脱离了我心中的悲惨境遇。
