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No one can survive alone. And if people feel used, worthless and ashamed,
任何人都无法脱离他人生存。如果人们感觉自己被利用了，没有价值，感到很羞愧，
because something horrible has happened to them, then they retreat, and they fall into social isolation,
那是因为很多可怕的事情发生在他们身上，之后他们就会退缩，变得孤立于社会之外，
and they do not dare to tell this evil to other people or to their loved ones, because they do not want to burden them.
并且他们不敢把他们这种罪恶的感受告诉他们所爱的人或者其他人，他们不想连累这些人。
And very often violence is a way to cope with it.
通常人们用暴力来解决这些困扰。
Traumatized people also easily lose control -- symptoms are hyper-arousal and memory flashbacks
精神上受创伤的人容易失去控制--其症状就是易激惹和不断回想过去，
so people are in a constant fear that those horrible feelings of that traumatic event might come back unexpectedly, suddenly, and they cannot control it.
所以这些人生活在持续的恐惧中，发生创伤事件时恐怖的体验会没有预兆地，突然地再现，没有办法控制。
To compensate this loss of inner control, they try to control the outside, very understandably -- mostly the family
为了弥补这种内在的失控感，他们就会试图控制外界事物，这很容易理解，他们通常控制的就是家庭，
and unfortunately, this fits very well into the traditional side, regressive side, repressive side, restrictive side of the cultural context.
不幸的是，在他们的控制之下，整个文化变得更加传统，更加落后和压抑，有了更多的约束。
So, husbands start beating wives, mothers and fathers beat their children, and afterward, they feel awful.
丈夫开始打妻子，爸爸妈妈打孩子，打过之后，他们又感觉很糟糕。
They did not want to do this, it just happened -- they lost control.
他们并不希望这样做，但是事情就那么发生了。一句话，他们失去了控制。
The desperate try to restore order and normality,
我们竭尽全力在做的修补和复原工作，
and if we are not able to cut this circle of violence, it will be transferred to the next generation without a doubt.
如果无法打破这个暴力循环，这种暴力毫无疑问会传给下一代。
And partly this is already happening.
事实上，事情已经在这么发生了。
