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Our company gives out Thanksgiving turkeys to retired employees. All they have to do is stop by the plant to pick them up.
我们公司给退休员工发放感恩节火鸡。他们需要做的就是来到工厂，把火鸡取走。
A few days before the holiday, a retiree called to ask, "What time do the turkeys get in?"
节日前几天，一名退休人员打电话问道，“火鸡什么时候到？”
The receptionist, without thinking, responded, "Everyone starts at eight."
接待员不假思索就回答道，“每个人八点开始。”
Pearls of "wisdumb" from less-than-stellar students:
来自不太优秀的学生的“真知灼见”：
I had a girl in my class ask how long it would take for a submarine to travel from Florida to California... going underneath the country.
我班上有个女生问，一艘潜水艇从佛罗里达到加利福尼亚要多长时间……从地下过去的话。
I had a student who wrote an art history paper about "Leonard Davin Chi."
我有个学生写了一篇关于“伦纳德·达·芬奇”的艺术史论文。
I walked into a classroom where the professor was in the midst of an angry lecture on plagiarism
我走进一间教室，教授正在进行一场有关抄袭的愤怒讲座，
because one of his students had turned in an essay that started with: "In my 25+ years of experience in this field ..."
因为他有一个学生上交了一篇开头为“根据我在这个领域超过25年的经验”的论文。
I teach French. I'd given everyone in class a lengthy piece of French homework.
我教法语。我给班上的每个人都布置了一份很长的法语作业。
One student put the entire assignment into Google Translate, but translated it into Spanish.
一个学生将整个作业放到谷歌翻译中，但是翻译成了西班牙语。
Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader.
这很难使人相信，但是我们银行的许多客户仍然不知道如何通过ATM读卡器刷卡。
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained how it's done.
一位柜员抱怨道，每次她给人们解释如何刷卡的时候，人们都会用奇怪的眼神看她。
I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me."
在我无意中听到她跟一个客户说的话时，我明白了其中的原因。她说：“面向我脱掉衣服。”
On The Late Late Show, Paul McCartney told host James Corden how he and John Lennon wrote the Beatles hit "She Loves You" in McCartney's childhood home:
在《詹姆斯·柯登深夜秀》节目中，保罗·麦卡特尼告诉詹姆斯·柯登，他与约翰·列侬是如何在自己儿时的家中共同创作出披头士乐队热曲《她爱你》的。
"We're just finishing it up, John and I, and we were like, 'Oh, that's it.
我和约翰就在想，“我们就要完成创作了，这首歌就是这样了。
Let's play it for my dad.' So we say, 'Dad, Dad, you want to hear a song?'
让我们为我爸爸演奏一下吧。”所以我们说，“爸爸，爸爸，你想听一首歌吗?”
So we sing, 'She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ...' and he listens to the whole song.
然后我们就唱了，“她爱你，耶，耶，耶”，他听了整首歌曲。
Then he said, 'That's very nice, but son, there's enough of these Americanisms around.
然后他说，“这首歌很棒，但是儿子，现在已经有很多这种美国风格的歌曲了。
Couldn't you sing, 'She loves you, yes, yes, yes?'"
你们就不能唱，“她爱你，是的，是的，是的？”
I asked a patient to write the Medicaid number from his card on his form. This is what he wrote: "The Medicaid Number."
我让一个病人在表格上写下他的卡上的医疗补助号码。这是他写的内容：“医疗补助号码。”
Four librarians share conversations that made their days. During story time, I read a book that mentioned doughnuts growing on trees.
四个图书管理员分享了他们每天的谈话。在讲故事的时候，我读了一本书，里面提到了长在树上的甜甜圈。
Me: "I want to live in a world where doughnuts grow on trees!" Child: "I want to live in a world where bananas grow on trees."
我：“我想活在一个甜甜圈长在树上的世界!”孩子：“我想活在一个香蕉长在树上的世界。”
A patron's question for the reference desk: "Can you come and get a raccoon out of my house?"
一位顾客问咨询台：“你能来我家把浣熊弄出来吗?”
A patron came up to the desk to check out a book. Me: "I'm so sorry, but you won't be able to check out since you owe $173." Man: "173? That's how much I weigh too!"
一位顾客走到桌子前来看借书。我：“抱歉，因为您欠了173美元，所以您不能借书了。”顾客：“173？我的体重也是173！”
A six-year-old girl asked me: "Do you have any books about how to make boys cry?"
一个六岁的小女孩问我：“这里有没有关于如何让男孩哭的书吗？
