I wanted to be more in touch with of my feminine side because I knew that it wasn't healthy to repress emotions.
我想要找到自己女性化的一面是因为我知道压抑情感是不健康的
I was repressing painful emotions. The exact same thing happens with positive emotions. Same emotional channels.
我压抑痛苦的情绪,同时也压抑积极正面的情绪,因为是同一条情绪通路
But I grew up in a culture that's very macho.
但是我在一个非常强调男子气概的文化环境中长大
Men don't cry. Or soldiers. Or tough. We can handle anything.
男人不哭,士兵不哭,我们很坚强,可以搞定任何事情
And that's the culture that I grew up. And again this was my first memory.
这是我长大的文化背景,而且,那是我人生的第一个回忆
I heard the same thing over and over and over again, the same message.
之后我反复听过同样的话无数次传递的都是同样的讯息
It's not cool. It's not manly to show emotions.
这样不行,表露情绪一点也不爷们
It reminds me up after losing one of the most important squash tournaments for me,
我现在想起来那时候我输掉了对于我来说最重要的壁球比赛全国冠军
losing the national championships after I'd won it the year before. Surprise. Wasn't supposed to lose it; was supposed to win.
之前的一年我是冠军,当时我很震惊,我本不该输掉,本该赢的
I go to my house with my girlfriend after. And we're just hanging out. And suddenly she begins to cry.
之后我和女朋友一起回家,我们就是一起消磨时间,突然间她哭了起来
And I say to her, why are you crying? And she said, I'm crying because you are not crying.
我问她:你哭什么?她说:我哭是因为你不哭
Because she understood how important it was for me.
因为她明白这场比赛对于我有多重要
And this is how I basically experience my childhood, teenage, being tough, being macho.
这就是我在童年,青少年阶段的体验,要坚强,要像个男人
And then I came here and understood I need to let go. I need to be more in touch with the feminine side.
然后我来到这里,我明白我要释放出来,我要找到自己女性化的一面
So this is story number one. Let me move on to story number two.
这就是我的第一个故事。现在让我来讲第二个故事
One of the students that I had here, some of you may know her, class of 04, was Lindsay Hyde.
我以前的一个学生,你们当中可能有人认识她。她是04届毕业的,叫林赛·海德
Lindsay Hyde studied with me. We had one on one tutorial as well. We worked a lot together.
林赛·海德在我这里学习,我们也有一对一教学,经常一起学习